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“Enjoy your date, Jabari,” and like that, I turned on my heels and left.
I could have given the situation more attention, but I had Jashae in the car waiting, and I’m sure she was probably wondering what the hell was going on. I was mad as I walked to the front, grabbed the food, and left out. I couldn’t help but wonder if Jabari was going to fuck that bitch tonight. I wondered if he would do the same things to her body tonight that he just did to me the other day.
When they were finished, would they sit up and talk with each other like he and I did? Would he make her cook for him? When it was time for them to call it a night, would he spoon her while holding her from behind and breathing deeply into the nape of her neck? Those were all answers that I wanted to know.
When I made it back into the car, I handed Jashae the food and slammed the door behind me. I roughly pulled the seat belt over and put it on me.
“What the hell is wrong with you? And what took you so long? You told them to make my cheeseburger plain, right?” she asked.
I ignored her. My eyes were on the door of the restaurant as I watched Jabari and his date walk out together. She followed my eyes, and when she saw what I was looking at, I could feel her smirk without my eyes even being on her.
“I know the big, bad, love police isn’t catching feelings? Bitch, are you jealous?” Jashae asked as she stuffed fries into her mouth.
“You think he’s about to fuck her?” I asked, watching them as they got into his car. I hadn’t even been in his car yet.
“Ummm, do you see that ass on her? He’s definitely not about to go and read the bible with her. Hell yeah, he’s going to fuck her. If you had told him how you feel about him, then you wouldn’t have to worry about him entertaining the next bitch,” she said, this time drinking from her smoothie that she made me get for her as well.
I was so annoyed with her eating in my ca
r, but at least her ass was eating because she hadn’t been eating much of anything lately, which was the only reason I was letting it slide.
“And how exactly do I feel about him?” I asked, cocking my head to the side and looking over at her.
“You probably want to drive this car into that bitch, huh? Those are your feelings, Mahogany. That’s your jealous side. You, my best friend, are feeling the side of effects of getting dope dick. That shit will have you ready to knock a bitch head off their shoulders. You can’t fight over no dick that’s not yours, though. You don’t like Jabari in that way, remember? Isn’t that what you told me?” she asked.
I didn’t bother answering her. I just pulled the car out of the parking lot, and we headed back to her house.
Taylor Owens
I parked my car in front of her house, somewhat nervous about getting out. I didn’t want her to read my soul. I didn’t want her to be able to look at me and see that I’d done something wrong. Everything was telling me to turn around, but I couldn’t. I wanted to speak to her. Hell, I needed to speak with her. It was Vonte’s birthday today. I hadn’t been to sleep since two nights ago because I knew that this day was going to come soon.
My stomach was growing more and more, and I knew that she knew about the pregnancy. The day she found out about it, Vonte had called and told me. That was probably one of the last conversations he and I had. He died believing that this was his baby because I gave him every reason to think that way. His mom was inside, more than likely believing that she had a grandchild on the way, but she didn’t. I had no plans to tell her that this wasn’t Vonte’s baby because I didn’t know how it would make her feel.
I honestly didn’t know what I was going to do because Reggie wasn’t going to play along with it and string this lie out with me. I knew he would physically harm me if he even knew that I was going around saying that this was Vonte’s baby. I’ve been so stressed that at times I hoped for a miscarriage. This was too big of a lie for me to continue to drag out like this. Vonte’s mother deserved to know that this wasn’t his baby along with everyone else in his family, but I just wasn’t ready to put on my big girl panties yet and fess up.
If Vonte’s mother cared anything about me or this baby, she would want to start going to doctor’s appointments with me, she would want to know the gender, help plan for the baby shower, and be inside the room with me when it was time for me to have the baby. I had no clue what the plan was going to be, but in the meantime, I stepped out of my mom’s car, that she’d been letting me use lately, and I walked up the circular driveway.
Once I was standing outside the door, I knocked. I knew she was home because her car was in the driveway. The longer she took to come to the door, the more the voices were inside my head, telling me to just turn back around. Just when I’d turned on my heels, I felt her coming to the door. The doorknob turned, and there she was. I was expecting her to be a total wreck since it was Vonte’s birthday and he wasn’t here to celebrate it, but she wasn’t. I mean, her eyes were a little red, she had big bags up underneath them, but she looked fine considering the circumstances.
“Hey,” she called out.
I’ll admit that it was a little awkward because the two of us had never been around each other unless Vonte was in the room with us.
“Hi. Ummm, I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I just wanted to come over and have a conversation with you,” I told her, and the whole time I spoke, I could feel her eyes lingering on my stomach. I had a little pudge now, and anyone could see that I was pregnant.
“Come in. A conversation between the two of us is long overdue,” she said.
I walked inside the house and could smell whatever cleaning products that she had been using to clean the house. Vonte would always say whenever she was mad, even sad, she would clean this house from top to bottom. With it being her son’s birthday today, I would bet my last dollar that she was cleaning because she was sad. In the middle of me trying to put my keys inside my purse, they fell on the floor. I tried to bend and pick them up, but she stopped me.
“Don’t bend. I got it,” she said and bent down to pick the keys up for me.
She handed them to me, I thanked her, and we walked into the kitchen area. I took a seat at the dining room table, while she went over to the fridge and grabbed two bottles of water. She handed me one, and she took one then sat down next to me.
I swear I could feel Vonte’s presence in this room. Not just because there were pictures of him hanging up throughout the house or because I could see his report cards that were hanging up on the fridge. It was just really a feeling like he was there, sitting down at the table with us.
“I should have been reached out to you. Every day, I’m always convincing myself that I’ll do it the next day when I feel a little better, but it seems like that day where I feel a little better hasn’t come yet. I’ll be the first to tell you that when I found out that Vonte had a baby on the way, I was pissed. Probably the maddest that I’ve ever been with him in his entire life. Having babies at a young age was something that he and I started talking about when I saw the first strand of hair under his chin. He wasn’t ready to be a daddy, and I wasn’t ready to be a grandmother. I believe in God; therefore, I believe that everything happens for a reason.
My son is no longer here, but you being pregnant with his child leaves me with a piece of him, and I can’t say that I’m upset with that. Throughout this entire thing, knowing that I have a grandbaby on the way, that seems to be the only thing that brings me peace. I’ll never get my son back, but at least I’ll have something that’s a representation of him,” she spoke to me.
