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“I was pregnant with Jabari’s baby thirteen years ago. My baby was damn near beaten out of me by him. The child that I had could have been the big brother or sister to your little girl,” I let her know.
I could tell by her facial expression alone that she was shocked to hear this. That right there proved to me that Jabari had never told her about what happened between the two of us in our past.
“Was the baby his?” she asked me, and I sucked my teeth when she asked that foolish ass question. She sounded just like his ass, to the point that I almost felt like he had this bitch trained.
“Did you not just hear me say that my child would have been the brother or the sister to your baby?” I asked, getting a little bit louder this time.
“Oh, I heard you. What does this have to do with me, though? Why are you coming down here to my job to tell me this? Thirteen years ago, I didn’t even know Jabari. Didn’t even know that my husband existed at the time. When I get home, this is a conversation that will be had between him and I. You don’t get to see me showing my emotions, and if I have to, my insecurities as well. I leave that part of me for my husband to withstand. Was there anything else that you needed to let me know? This was pointless,” she said.
“The miscarriage that I had, or your husband lying to you and not telling you that he was the cause of it?” I smartly asked her.
“The miscarriage that you had with the child that we don’t even know if it belonged to my husband. Look, I won’t dwell on the subject too much longer because as a woman, I won’t dare speak on another woman’s miscarriage, especially when I’m walking around here now, pregnant with my own child. Whether my husband
lied to me or not, didn’t tell me certain pieces of information or not, I will deal with him on my time. I will handle him where I see fit. I was referring to you getting in your car, driving to where I work, just to come in here and tell me this information as pointless. Sis, you could have written me on Instagram or something. All the dramatics and the theatrics could have been saved,” she let me know.
Jabari had a cocky bitch, and I bet it was his fault too. It was no telling the shit he was putting in her head to make her ass so damn cocky.
“Jabari ain’t changed. He’s just older. Your pussy is still fresh to him, so he hasn’t gone astray yet. I’ll give him about another year. That’s when they usually start dogging you, by the time the baby turns one. Let’s see if that cockiness still exists by then,” I said and got ready to turn on my heels and leave, but when she let out a loud laugh, I stopped.
“Jabari wouldn’t leave me if somebody put a fuckin’ bullet to his head and told him that he had to, so let’s get that understood right quick. I’ve tried to walk away from this man twice, and both times, I had him sick to his fuckin’ stomach. My pussy will always be fresh to him, and he knows that. We’re talking about a man who you haven’t seen in thirteen fuckin’ years. How the fuck do you know if he changed or not? A man who has his hands in all types of businesses. That don’t sound like change to you?
“When you were fuckin’ him, he was selling dope, living in his mama’s house, and fuckin’ you in his car. Now, he’s living in a mansion, selling shoes out of his business, and fuckin’ me on thousand-dollar sheets. If he ever fucks me in a car, it’s not because he has to, it’s because he chooses to! You know little Jabari, small pockets Jabari, and the young Jabari who didn’t give a fuck about life! I know Jabari as my fuckin’ husband, I know seven figure a year Jabari, putting his money into stocks Jabari. I could go on and on, but if I stand here and tell you about all the shit my husband has, that’ll only make you crave him more. You don’t have to ever in your damn life worry about him dogging me. I’ll kill his ass before he even gets the chance to get the leash, now good day!” she said before walking away from her desk and going over to the door to open it for me, basically ending this conversation right here.
I left. There was nothing else that needed to be said. All that shit that she talked, and guess what? She was still going home tonight and would cry to the nigga, asking him why he didn’t tell her about the miscarriage that I had. I knew the way bitches thought. Hell, she even said that she wouldn’t show me her flaws in person, so that only let me know that I had her shaken with this information, but she wouldn’t dare show that to me. I guess that part was left for her husband.
I had no plans to come down here and make their lives a living hell. I said what I had to say. I got my closure, so I was going to move on with my life like I’d been doing for the past few years. Granted, Jabari and I worked right next door to each other now, so of course we would see each other in passing, but that was it. I would still hurt from the situation, but I had to continue taking one day at a time.
Jashae Johnson
“Hello, this is Ms. Johnson. Can you hold for one second?” I asked, never even giving the caller a chance to say yes or no before I put the call on hold.
It could have been anyone calling my work phone, and because I didn’t check the number to see who was calling, I had no clue who was on the other line. Most family and friends called my personal phone, so I was sure that it wasn’t any of them.
I was in the middle of finishing a very important Excel document that I had to have submitted before it was time for me to clock out, which was in the next five minutes or so. This baby had been kicking my ass these days, and ever since I found out, I felt like I hadn’t been my best at work. I just happened to be one of those women who didn’t get so lucky to not have to go through the morning sickness phase. The toilet, the garbage can, and plastic bags had all become my best friend these past few weeks.
My first prenatal appointment was yesterday morning, where Miami and I found out that I was a little bit over six weeks pregnant. We heard the heartbeat, and I cried like a little ass baby. I was happy, but on the other hand, the pregnancy had me emotional, so it made me think of Vonte and how eighteen years ago, I was listening to his heartbeat. It killed me that my son wasn’t around to get to be a big brother to both Maya and the baby that I was carrying.
Speaking of Maya, I was granted temporary custody of her almost a week ago. In her case, I was granted custody almost immediately after we filed the suit since it was technically an emergency situation. Her father was serving a life sentence, and her mom had made it clear that she didn’t want anything to do with her and had signed away all of her rights to her. I was glad that the judge had taken into consideration Maya’s situation and how if I didn’t take her in, she really didn’t have any other place to go because the people who were her blood didn’t want her.
One of the requirements that I had was to sign her up for school almost immediately, and that’s what I spent the majority of my day doing yesterday. Since today was Friday, she would start first thing Monday morning. Every day, I felt like I was asking God, why me? I didn’t mind Maya, but why did HE choose me to be the one to do it? Every day that I saw Maya, it was just a constant reminder of the way that I was deceived by Trip during our time together, and it also reminded me of how I allowed this man to make me out to be a damn fool.
Maya was innocent in this whole ordeal, so the feelings that I had for her hateful ass daddy would have never been taken out on her. Besides, I was at a point in my life, where I was my happiest. I was pregnant again by a man who I loved so hard. If things could be a little better for me, it would be for Mahogany and me to get back on good terms.
That day after the verbal fight between the two of us, Miami had talked on the phone with Jabari that night, and I found out from Miami that Mahogany and Jabari had gotten married that day, which explained the white that the two of them had on. I cried like a baby because I didn’t even get to talk to my own best friend about that. It made so much sense now that Mahogany was my blood sister because we shared so many traits. The biggest one being our stubbornness.
As much as I missed her, I couldn’t call. She was high off her emotions, and she had every right to be because she was deceived and lied to by both parents. In all of my thirty years of being on this Earth, my relationship with my father had never been this distant. I probably saw him one time last week, and I never go too long without seeing him. I couldn’t trust him right now. I couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t say anything, especially after he knew about all of this for this long.
When Mahogany and I were younger, whatever he did for me, he would do for her too. He took us both shopping, often times paid for both of us to get our hair done when she was over my house for the weekend, and everything else that a father does. All this time, I just thought that he was doing it as a way to be nice to my friend, when all he was doing was what he was supposed to do since she was his damn daughter! Isn’t that crazy?
How can you sit and watch your daughter be around you for all these years and not say shit? I expected some low down, dirty shit like this from Trip, not my own damn daddy! He was messing around on my mama with her own best friend. A best friend that she was living with at the time. It’s so crazy because my mom never got the chance to find out.
Right after it happened, I drove straight to my grandma’s house. I looked her right in her eyes and questioned her if she knew about this, and she didn’t. Hell, in the beginning, she thought that I was lying. I could just tell that she was oblivious to all of this. She ended up having to call my daddy and boyyyyy did she lay his ass out! He deserved it, though, and didn’t need to get any pity. The only one who deserved pity was Mahogany because she was the one hurt in this.
My daddy wasn’t the only person to blame in this situation, though. Hell, Mahogany’s mother was just as fuckin’ wrong and just as dirty. What made it so bad on her part, minus the fact that she was having dealings with a man who was in a relationship with her best friend was the part where she lied and deceived Mahogany for so many years. I’ve been around Mahogany since we were five, so I knew about the stories that were told to her as a little girl about her father being in the military, and then years later, her mom flipping the script and saying that she just simply didn’t know who he was.
I mean, I just didn’t understand how neither of them said anything. They had years to do this shit. I knew my heart, and I knew how much that I would allow people to do to me, so I can’t even say that I would have been so forgiving, but it wasn’t my place to speak on what Mahogany was going to do in this situation.
After quickly finishing up the document, I finally clicked back over on the phone, hoping that this wasn’t going to be a long conversation because it was time for me to go.
