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“She’s asleep. I’m heading back to Washington in two days. Are we going to meet tomorrow or what?” she asked. I could hear the attitude all in her voice.
“I’ll let you know, shorty. Aye, when we get off the phone, tell your nigga to fuck you. You too uptight. You pissed at a nigga for nothing at all. Go relieve some stress,” and just like that, I ended the phone call on her ass.
I could feel Shae’s eyes on me, and I already knew that she wanted to know what happened. Before I even said anything, I finished off the blunt, blowing the smoke in the opposite direction of her because I truly thought that shorty was pregnant. She called my feelings delusional, but I called it me being so fucking in tune with her body that I knew what the fuck was going on. I ran down everything to her that had just happened on the phone, and at the end, she just shook her head. I could tell that today’s events had her too stressed out to even be able to elaborate on the shit that had just happened.
“Maya is finally sleeping. She probably hates me too. I honestly don’t even know when the last time that little girl had a bath. Miami, the water had turned black by the time she got out. Her hair felt like it hadn’t been washed in years. After I washed it, I had to blow dry it and everything. She literally sat there and cried the entire time. I just feel like all of this is a bad ass dream, you know? I’m still waiting on the part where someone tells me that this is a prank or the part when I wake up from all of this.
“With all the shit that I have going on, I can’t take on Maya, but what do I do because I don’t want to drop her off? We hear about little girls like Maya all the fuckin’ time. In and out of foster care, and when they do eventually get a foster home, things like rape, physical and verbal abuse tend to happen. How is it that I care more about the well-being of this little girl than her own mama? I was thirteen when I had Vonte. Thirteen! That shit was hard on me, Miami. All plans of me living like a normal teenager went out the window the moment I took that pregnancy test and found out that I was pregnant. Even with all of that, I ain’t never think to just drop my son off with nobody and not give a fuck about his whereabouts. I would have never done no shit like that to my baby!” she voiced.
“Come here,” I called out with my hand extended toward her.
She stood up and walked over to me then curled herself up in my lap like a baby. She looked up at me like I had all the answers in the fuckin’ world.
“Crazy thing is, I’m not asking you to make a decision tonight. Hell, I’m not even asking you to make a decision tomorrow. This a life we’re talking about, and whatever we do decide, it’s going to be a permanent thing, so a decision like this deserves some time. Chill out, though. Don’t let this shit stress you out.”
I was telling her not to stress although my ass was stressing like a motha fucka because I just didn’t ultimately know how this shit was going to end. There was about five minutes of silence before I decided to say something.
“You ate that nasty ass pizza yet?” I asked.
She laughed while playfully rolling her eyes at me.
“It wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. It messed up my stomach, though. I was drinking ginger ale before I got this water. I threw up while I was taking a shower. I’m not going to order that kind again,” she said and laid her head on my chest while playing with my chin hair.
“Yeah, aight. Blame it on the pizza, shorty,” I mumbled.
Jashae Johnson
“I want a little sister, Ma,” Vonte came into the kitchen and said.
I mean, when did he even have the time to think about stuff like this? I was literally in the middle of cooking dinner for him, and he was upstairs in his room playing the game. It was his sophomore year in high school, and the basketball season had just ended. I was happy that the season was over because it gave me more time to have him up under me. During the season, it was nonstop practice, so at times, I felt like I hardly got to see him. By the time he got home from school, and I got home from work, the two of us would be dead tired and would probably spend only a couple of hours together, just to eat dinner and maybe watch one or two shows. Today was Saturday, and he was having a few of his teammates over, which he told me about at the last minute.
Vonte was so damn spoiled because only he would have me in the kitchen cooking on a weekday, knowing damn well that I either eat out or order in on the weekend.
“Vonte, move! You say that like I can just walk to the store and get you a little sister. You know how conception works! I know you do because I was cleaning your room up the other day and I saw that packet was missing two condoms. Who are you having sex with?” I asked, taking the pan from the oven and looking over at him.
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My son was so damn handsome, standing there looking like a younger version of Trip. With that smile, those dimples, and the nice athletic build that he had, I could already tell that those fast ass little girls were going crazy over my baby.
“See, this is why I don’t like you cleaning my room because you always going through my stuff. Be worried when you see a full pack of condoms because that means that I’m not using protection,” his smart ass had the nerve to say.
I picked up the oven mitt that was next to me on the counter and threw it at him.
“Seriously, Ma. Don’t change the subject. I want a little sister for real,” he said.
“Why do you all of a sudden want a little sister? You’re enough for me. You’re about to be sixteen. If I were to get pregnant, I would have to start all over. Changing diapers, being deprived of sleep, all things which I’m not necessarily ready for again. Who am I supposed to have this child with anyway?” I asked him, and he looked at me like I was crazy. He face had a mug, making him definitely look like the spitting image of his father.
“My daddy! What you mean? Who the hell else are you supposed to have another child with? You trippin’,” he voiced.
“Yeah, I’m going to have another child with a man who is serving a life sentence,” I said with sarcasm dripping from every word that came out of my mouth.
“Vonte, you do realize that I’m doing this shit on my own, right? The bills, raising you, clothing you, feeding you, keeping a roof over your head are all things that I’m doing by my damn self. Why put myself in a situation to be a single mother of two? I’m twenty-eight. Who knows, maybe I’ll have another child down the line, but I can’t tell you that it’ll be with Trip because I would be a fool to do that. Why would you want to share me? I thought you liked being the only child,” I said, taking a moment to look at him with a serious look on his face.
Vonte was too damn attached to me for me to even think that he would want another sibling. In the almost sixteen years that he’d been on this Earth, he’d never said anything about wanting a sibling.
“I don’t want to share you, but for a little sister, I will. I was up there playing the game, and I was on the phone with Tate. I could hear his baby sister in the background, so I entertained the thought. I wouldn’t want a little brother because I feel like I’ll be in competition to receive your love. With a sister, not so much,” he said and jumped up on the counter. All I could do was laugh.
“You remind me of your daddy so much that it’s not even funny. When him and I had finally accepted the fact that I was pregnant and we were going to keep you, he said that he didn’t want a son because he felt like a son would take away all of the attention that I would give to him. He was so right. You’re my world, Vonte, and at the moment, you are everything and more to me. My body is exactly how I want it. It’s tight, firm, and I have a little four pack. Let me enjoy my damn body,” I fussed and hit him on his leg, so he could get off my damn counter.
