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She looked up at me for a second before she shrugged.
“I’ll wash the sheets, okay? You want to take a shower?” I asked, and she nodded her head yes, that she did.
To take the focus off the fact that she peed in the bed, I went into the bathroom and started the shower. When Maya’s clothes came off, I could literally see the bones in her chest because she was so tiny. The pajamas that we’d gotten for her were a size 3T, and it was still too big for her. What the fuck was Krystal doing? It had me questioning if she was even feeding her.
When we made it back home last night after Walmart, I gave Maya her pizza, which she picked over. I questioned if she just really didn’t care to eat. There were so many things wrong with this situation that I still wasn’t able to make it make sense. For ten minutes, I was back and forth from checking on Maya as she showered. I’d already placed the sheets in the washer, and now I was cleaning the wet spot on the mattress. By the time I finished, Maya was walking out, holding onto the towel around her body for dear life.
I was a mother, so when I gave her a bath yesterday, I made sure to examine her body for any signs of abuse, but I didn’t see anything. Maya wasn’t suffering from physical abuse; instead, she was suffering from neglect. I stopped what I was doing just so at I could look at her. Although this little girl was the spitting image of her mother, she had features of Trip in her too, which meant that she favored Vonte.
I kept thinking about the conversation that I had with Vonte a couple of years ago and him telling me that he wanted a sister. I mean, I could have a child, but what about the one right here? This was my son’s baby sister. For whatever reason, I saw her, and I saw Vonte. On one hand, everything was telling me to stop being so nice and put this child in a foster home or get CPS involved. This was not my responsibility, and I should not feel bad about not deciding to keep her. Ultimately, she was Krystal and Trip’s child, so they should deal with this.
On the other hand, everything was screaming for me to just keep her. At least then, my conscience would be clear. When she was here, I knew she would be safe. I knew that she’d be properly fed, raised, loved, and cared for. Then, it put me in a situation where I still had to have some type of ties with Trip. Then again, maybe not because although I couldn’t confirm it, I knew that his stupid ass was the one who told his mom to bring Maya to my job in the first place. Then, I worried about me accepting her, making her mine, getting her where she needed to be, only for Krystal to decide that she wants to be a mother again.
Truthfully, I thought the best thing for me to do would be to stay out of it, but I felt like I was already in it. I was looking at a little girl, probably no bigger than forty pounds, and those little eyes of her are screaming, Help me, Jashae. Because of that, I couldn’t just turn my back on her. My son wouldn’t want me to. I knew he wouldn’t!
Mahogany Williams
“Remember we’re leaving for Atlanta in the morning,” Jabari reminded me for like the thousandth time this week.
Maybe he was doing so much reminding because he hadn’t seen where I packed my bags in preparation of our quick trip tomorrow. We were mainly going down there so he could check on one of his sneaker stores that he had out that way and for me to meet his mother. Last week, I talked to her on the phone for the first time, and she was okay. She just reminded me of a female version of Jabari, especially when it came to her mouth and the way that she talked to people. I wouldn’t say that she was rude, but she did come off as very blunt.
I thought back to her asking me how long Jabari and I had been dating. When I told her that it had only been a few months, I heard her let out a sarcastic laugh. I knew how to hold my own, and I knew how to get back with a person if I felt like they were coming for me, but out of respect for her being Jabari’s mother, I was going to fall back, but only for a little bit. Her attitude was one of the reasons why I didn’t care too much about our trip to Atlanta tomorrow. On top of that, we were going to be staying with her for the two days that we would be there.
I honestly dreaded that and would much rather stay in a damn hotel, but of course, I wasn’t going to tell that to Jabari. The last thing I wanted him to think was that I was already acting funny toward his mama. Plus, for the last couple of weeks, he and I had been good, and I didn’t want to say or do anything to possibly jeopardize that. I felt like my pregnancy had calmed Jabari down in a lot of ways, and it’s made him more vulnerable, especially toward me. It also made him give in to things that I desired more easily. Even right now, the two of us had stepped away from work so we could have lunch together. I was able to convince him to meet me at Olive Garden, although I knew that he hated everything about this restaurant. I, however, was a real fan of their soup and salad.
“I know, baby. Why do you keep reminding me?” I asked after I took a sip of the water that was sitting before me on the table.
We were sitting in a booth facing each other. Jabari was so handsome today, not to take away from how he looks any other day, though. I just felt like these days he had a “dad glow.” He was glowing right along with me in this pregnancy. He’d woken up extra early this morning, so he could go to the barber. They fixed my baby up real nicely. His waves were perfect, his tape was perfect, and everything about his facial hair was perfect. Sitting before me, he wore a white polo Burberry shirt with white shorts that stopped just before his knees. Plain, white Burberry sneakers were on his feet, and he wore simple jewelry, which wasn’t much but a gold Jesus piece around his neck and a male bracelet on his left wrist. Both of his tatted arms rested on the table as he looked at me, preparing me for whatever the hell was going to slip out of his mouth.
When he sighed, I knew that it was going to be some bullshit.
“Because you haven’t made a move yet, shorty. The flight leaves at four in the morning, and I feel like I been telling you every day this week to pack a bag. What? You don’t want to go or something?” he asked.
The muscles in his jaw flexed, making him look ten times sexier. It was a bittersweet feeling when it came to Jabari being mad at me. On one hand, I hated it because what woman in their right mind wanted to be beefing with their man? On the other hand, damn he looked so fine when I got him all worked up.
“Jabari, I have plenty of time to pack when we get home. Damn, you haven’t packed either. Why do I feel like you trying to pick a fight with me? You trying to piss me off so I can change my mind and don’t go? You must have a bitch up there that you’re trying to keep me from seeing,” I said and rolled my eyes.
All that talk about us being on good terms quickly ended because, just that fast, I’d allowed him to piss me off. He shook his head, let out a forced laugh, and then took a swig of his drink.
“This that crazy shit that I be talking about. If I was trying to hide a bitch from you, I wouldn’t have even invited your ass to come. That shit is starting to really turn me
the fuck off, Mahogany, real shit,” he voiced.
“What exactly is turning you off, Jabari? Please explain,” I said and crossed my arms on the table, looking him dead in his eyes while really wanting to slap the shit out of him.
“That insecure bullshit. Everything I say to you, it always got to translate to me having a bitch. I didn’t mind you saying the shit in the beginning because we weren’t necessarily together, and I was doing my little thing on the side. Now that we’re together and you’re carrying my fuckin’ baby, I don’t even look in another bitch’s direction. Give a nigga some fuckin’ credit, yo, because I’m trying,” he said.
“I’m a lot of things, Jabari, but I’m not insecure—”
“Then stop fuckin’ acting like it then!” he barked.
I didn’t even say anything else to his ass because if I did, we would look like we were filming an episode of Love & Hip-Hop, meaning that everyone in this restaurant would be looking at us and seeking some sort of entertainment. Almost five minutes later, our food had come, and I picked over it because I didn’t have much of an appetite.
“Oh, shit! Mahogany. That’s you?” I heard a voice creep up on me and ask.
I knew that voice. It was all too fuckin’ familiar. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die when I heard him talking to me. I didn’t dare look at Jabari because I could already feel the heat from his eyes on me. The voice belonged to a guy named Jeremy. I wouldn’t say that he was an ex of mine, though, because he wasn’t. He was just someone who at one point in time was very fond of my pussy. He knew what it looked like, smelled like, even what it tasted like. The way he was so happy and shocked to see me proved that I’d put the pussy on him a few times, and he missed me.
Jeremy was handsome, but put him side to side with Jabari, and it was like he didn’t even exist. He stood maybe 5’7”, which I didn’t too much care for because I was already tall myself, so any dude that I settled down with had to be taller than me. I needed him to still tower over me, even when I was in six inch pumps. Jabari’s height was just one of the many things that I loved about his ass. The only thing that Jeremy had in common with Jabari was the fact that their skin complexion was almost identical, but as far as the maintenance of his skin, it was nowhere near as perfect as Jabari’s was.
