Page 10 of Love Me


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With the towel wrapped securely around my body, I headed over to my section of the bathroom to brush my teeth and handle my nightly skin routine. Once I was finished, I dropped the towel, and I examined my body. Almost immediately, I started thinking about the way he referred to my body as a little boy body, and I cringed. Yes, I was small, but I had learned to work with what I had. In the right jeans, my ass could look plumper than it usually was.

My husband had even told me over a million times that when my clothes came off, my ass was even fatter in person. Then, I thought about him telling me that I needed to grow some titties, and I ended up looking at my breasts and cringing again. I was a full 32 A cup, and I wore it proudly. I rarely wore a bra because there really wasn’t anything for me to keep secure. Fuck him! His dick was probably little anyway. Who am I kidding? My sister was right. He did walk around like his dick was too heavy. I laughed to myself because what made Sky even say some off the wall shit like that?

I quickly lotioned my body with cocoa butter and threw on one of Jerrod’s old shirts from our college days then headed back inside the room. This time, Jerrod was in bed, lying on top of the covers with his attention on the television screen. The moment I walked out, his eyes landed on me. For the first time in God knows how long, he actually looked at me with lust in his eyes.

I paid his glare no mind, as I went to my side of the bed and pulled the covers back. I was lying on my back for about a good two minutes when his strong arm found my waist, and he pulled me into him, placing me close to his side. I actually wanted my husband to touch me, so I didn’t stir. I didn’t tense up like I would usually do. I wondered if this had anything to do with the fact that I was already horny. Was I so desperate to feel the asshole from the park’s touch that I was finally allowing my husband to touch me? I really didn’t know.

“Remember years ago, when you would sleep over in my dorms on a Friday night, and you would wear my clothes as pajamas?” he asked me.

I did remember those times, so I laughed and nodded my head that I did. I usually wouldn’t sleep in his dorm during the week because I would be so busy with my classes, studying, and completing homework, but when the weekends came, that’s when I devoted pretty much all of my time to him.

“I swear, those were the good days,” he said, and I had to agree with him on that.

There was a long pause, and then he finally spoke up again.

“I apologize for what I said to you downstairs. It doesn’t make it right, but I’m stressed out from work, and that stress allowed me to say shit out of my mouth to you that I didn’t even mean. I think you’re a damn good mother to our kids. I couldn’t ask for a better woman to raise them for me. No father wants to hear that their thirteen-year-old daughter is kissing boys, so I guess I was just looking for someone to blame, and I put it on you. I do know that a lot of Journey’s acting out has a lot to do with me not physically and emotionally being here, so I swear that I’m going to work on that. You don’t have to apologize to me because everything you said to me was shit that I needed to hear. I’m sorry, baby. Do you forgive me?” he asked, rolling over and getting on top of me.

I nodded, letting him know that I did, and in seconds, our lips crashed into each other. Like a magnet, my arms went around his neck while his hands went for the bottom of the shirt that I was wearing, and he raised it for me. The kiss broke, but only for a few seconds so he could lift the shirt over my head.

I thought about him. The way his shirt was off earlier today, and the sweat that glistened down his body, making the tattoos that filled his chest look as if they had been freshly done. God, I felt so wrong for fantasizing over another man while I was getting ready to make love to my husband. Jerrod wasn’t doing to my body what I needed him to be doing. It had been five minutes of kissing, and I was waiting for him to at least put my pussy in his mouth, but I’d be waiting forever for that because I knew it wasn’t coming.

Since I’d been with Jerrod, I could count on one hand the number of times that he’s given me head because he hated giving it, and I hated receiving it from him. He didn’t know how to make love to my pussy with his mouth because he was always using his teeth, which made the feeling so uncomfortable. We both agreed years ago that he didn’t have to do it anymore.

My body squirmed underneath him because I was just that horny. I could only pray that he allowed me to get mine off first because each time we had sex, he always got his first, and I was always left with a wet pussy. I finally pushed him off me, and my hands went for the waistband of his pajamas because I was ready for some dick.

“Damn, girl.” Jerrod groaned once his index finger found my opening and he saw just how wet I was.

I felt bad because it wasn’t him who had me dripping like this. I’d never in my life been this wet for Jerrod. He was finally fully naked, and my eyes went for his dick. Jerrod wasn’t the biggest on the planet, but he wasn’t the smallest either. His dick wasn’t fully hard right now, so it looked smaller than it actually was. While he pleased me with his fingers, he used his other hand to jack his dick in an attempt to put him on brick. It finally happened, and when that moment came, he reached over and started digging for something in the nightstand.

I was horny and confused, so I was pulling his arm, telling him to hurry up. When I saw what he was looking for, I could have killed his ass.

“A condom, Jerrod? Really? What, you think I have some type of disease or something?” I asked, almost immediately getting turned off by him.

This was the only man that I had ever been with in my entire life.

“What? Don’t say no shit like that, Shrimp. I’m going to be real with you. I’m not trying to have any more children. At least, no time soon. It’s just for my protection and yours,” he said, but I knew he was lying.

“You watch me take my birth control every morning, so I’m confused as to why you’re pulling out a condom like I’m so

me cheap whore that you just met at a club. Even if you were trying to protect us, you could have at least pulled out, but don’t pull out a fuckin condom when I’m your damn wife! You know I’m on the pill!” I yelled, sitting up in the bed and putting the shirt back over my body.

Just that fast, my pussy had dried up, and I was disgusted with myself for even kissing his ass.

“Yeah, but that shit don’t always work! You told me you were on the pill five years ago, then boom! We got twins!” this motha fucka had the nerve to say.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him with so much anger and hurt in my eyes.

“What are you trying to imply? You think I pinned the twins on you? Please go ahead and say it,” I said, getting dead in his face.

“I’m not saying that, but how you go from being on the pill to ending up pregnant? I’m just not trying to take any chances,” he said, and I nodded.

I was so fuckin’ hurt.

“You know as much as I do that there were some days that I accidentally went without taking my pills. Five years later, and the truth comes out that you really think I would stoop so low to pin a fuckin baby on you? Really, Jerrod? I always knew that you were cocky, but damn! This is shocking, even for you. You don’t ever have to worry about touching my body again. I wouldn’t want you to think that I’m trying to sneak another baby out of you!” I said, followed by me leaving out of the room.

I went down the hall, and instead of climbing in the bed with one of my kids, I just went into the guest bedroom. My body crashed under the covers, and the tears that I tried to hide from my husband quickly escaped my eyes. As much as I didn’t want to admit it nor accept it, I knew that my marriage was crumbling right before my eyes. I was losing control of my daughter and losing the love that I had left for Jerrod.

I wanted this family thing to work because I never had it growing up. I wanted my kids to be able to experience what it felt like to have both a mother and a father in the home because I never got to even witness anything close to this. I tried to be the perfect mother and wife, but I was human, and I could slowly feel my body breaking down on me. Out of all the things that my husband could try to accuse me of, I never thought that he would think of me as the type of woman who had to force a baby on him.

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