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I walked out into the hallway, and I made my way into my parents’ room. She was lying in the middle of the bed, knocked out cold, while Jada lay on her chest with her small arm wrapped around my mom like she was protecting her. They were sleeping so peacefully that I almost didn’t want to wake her up and ask.
Looking down at my mom, I honestly felt bad for her. I wasn’t making her life any easier, and I knew that she was going through hell in her marriage with our father. I guess she thinks because she keeps her door closed while they argue that I don’t hear them, but I hear just about everything that takes place between the two of them. If they got a divorce, which is something that I was sure was going to be right up their alley pretty soon, I wouldn’t even care. It wouldn’t even feel like anything had changed because my dad was never there to begin with.
I actually wanted them to split because I knew that once that happened, my mom would be too busy dealing with the heartbreak to be worried about me and what the hell I had going on. That isn’t to say that I wanted my mom to get her heart broken, but you know what I mean.
“Ma. Ma,” I said, leaning over the bed and shaking her.
Her eyes popped open and landed on mine. She’d been in this bed with Jada for the past two hours or so sleeping, so it was time for her to get up anyway.
“What, Journey? What happened?” she asked, looking at me like I was crazy for waking her up from her sleep.
“It’s boring here. Can you drop me off to Grandma’s house for the weekend?” I asked her.
I put on my whiney voice, the one that I knew she couldn’t stand, but also the one that allowed me to get my way.
“No! You’re not slick. You’re just trying to go over there so you can use the phone. I’ll take y’all to the movies or something tonight, but I’m about to go back to sleep,” she said and threw her head back on the pillow.
“Ma, please! You can tell Grandma that I’m not supposed to be on the phone, so she’ll know. Please, Ma. I won’t ask you for nothing else,” I whined.
Almost two minutes went by before she finally popped her eyes open and looked up at me again. Although my mom got on my nerves 99% of the time, I had to admit that she was easily the most beautiful woman that I’ve ever seen. All the boys from school were in love with my mama. On days that she would pick me up, they would purposely stand and wait in the car pick up area just so they could see her. Even my own boyfriend talked about how attractive my mom was.
I was angry when he’d been going through my cell phone that I had at the time and was looking at my photo gallery. He damn near was drooling over my mom just from the picture alone. My anger didn’t last too long with him because he did let me know that I looked just like her. I knew he was lying because all my life, people have told me that I looked exactly like my father. That’s just how Raheem was. He had a way of putting things in my head that I knew for a fact wasn’t true, but because he was the one to say it, I was stupid enough to believe him.
“Alright, but I’m not driving down there. Tell her to come and get you, and I’ll make sure she knows that your ass isn’t supposed to be on the phone. Close my door on the way out,” she ordered.
I went over to her nightstand, where her phone was charging, and sent my grandma a text message asking her if I could spend the night this weekend and if she could come and get me. She let me know that she would be here in another two hours or so, so I used this time to pack my bags up and everything. I was smiling from ear to ear, knowing that I would see my man tonight. I made sure that I packed the sexy bra and panties that he purchased for me a while back because whenever we met up, he would always take me in the apartment that he stayed in with his mom, and we would go to his room to have sex. I also made sure that I shaved because he’d told me the day that I gave my virginity to him that he preferred me without hair down there.
While I was getting my bag and everything ready, all I could do was pray that my grandma never moved away from the projects because I wouldn’t be able to see Raheem as often as I did without her staying there. Hmm, maybe when I get older, and my dad buys me that Mercedes that he promised me I would get when I turned sixteen, I could drive by to see him. Until then, this would have to do.
That Night
It was damn near one in the morning, and my grandma had finally taken her ass to sleep. She worked me like a damn slave this evening, making me clean up damn near her whole apartment, and then had the nerve to only pay me twenty dollars for it. If I knew that she was going to have me doing all of this damn cleaning, I would have stayed my ass at home. Who am I kidding? And miss a chance of seeing my man? I think not! My mom made good on her promise about telling my grandmother that I wasn’t supposed to be on the phone because as soon as my ass touched her car seats, she let me know that I better not touch her damn phone.
My grandma wasn’t as strict as my mom, but she wasn’t a pushover either. My grandma and my mom were so worried about me being on the phone when that was honestly the least of my damn worries. I was showered and dressed plainly in a pair of black tights with a black tank top on. I had my feet in a pair of slides, and since my mom had dropped me off early this morning to get some lemonade braids, my hair was freshly done.
I knew my man was going to be turned to the fullest when his eyes laid on me tonight. I’d snuck my mom’s L’interdit Givenchy perfume out of her room, so not only was I looking good, but I smelled even better. I walked over to the mirror and gave myself the once over as I applied a thick coat of lip gloss on my lips. I still had an innocent face, but honestly, there was nothing innocent about me. Luckily, Raheem didn’t decide that he wanted to see me last weekend because if he had, he would have seen me with the little bumps that had appeared on my forehead, which I was embarrassed about. I was able to use some of the creams that my mom occasionally uses for her face, and within days, they had disappeared.
When my hair wasn’t in braids, I usually wore my real hair because it was so long that I really didn’t need weave. I’m not sure whether I inherited my good grain of hair from my mother or my father because they both had good textured hair. I know for a fact that my hazel eyes came from my dad, though. My slim thick build had to come from my auntie Sky because it damn sure didn’t come from my mom. Looking at myself in the mirror, I knew I was beautiful. I did one last pop of my lips, and I finally walked in the direction of the room door.
Before I walked out of the house, I peeked into my grandmother’s bedroom, and she was still asleep. My grandmother wasn’t your average grandmother who took out her false teeth along with her wig when she went to bed at night. She was only fifty- five years old, but let her tell it, she was thirty-five. She was a light sleeper like my mother, so I prayed to God that she didn’t wake up from her sleep and check for me. She’d had a few drinks tonight, so hopefully, thos
e drinks would have her sleeping through the night.
Man, my mom would probably send my ass to the damn army if she found out that I’d snuck out of my grandmother’s house to go and see my nineteen-year-old boyfriend and have sex. I didn’t even want to think about that, so I crept away from her bedroom door and headed down the long hallway. Unlike my parent’s house, my grandmother’s house didn’t have loud ass security systems, so I was able to quietly open the door. Once I successfully made it out, I used the spare key lock the door.
One would think that this late at night, people would be inside their homes sleeping. Well, that was the case on my side of town. Over here, people didn’t believe in sleep. I quickly walked down the stairs and headed to the back, where I knew Raheem would be. My heart was beating fast as hell as I walked because there were so many men outside, and although it was dark out, I could feel eyes on me. A few dudes even reached out to grab my arm, but I snatched away and walked faster.
“I’m right here,” I heard a deep voice call out from behind me. That made my heart melt because I knew who the voice belonged to.
My back was to him, so I quickly turned around, and there he was. While I was smiling, his face held a mean mug to it, which wasn’t surprising because he was always this uptight. I stayed there for a few seconds, allowing the butterflies to take over my stomach and just appreciate how fine this man was. The outside lights were shining down on him, so I was able to see the light bright skin that made him almost look pale. One of the sexiest things about Raheem was the many freckles that he had on his face, which reminded me of cookie crumbs. He was tall; so tall that he looked as if he could play in the NBA. When he wasn’t looking all mean and was actually smiling, his mouth full of golds were on display.
Tonight, his long hair was freshly braided in about ten braids that were going to the back. He was so handsome to me that I had no choice but to walk over to him, stand on my tippy toes, and wrap my arms around him. I instantly noticed that he wasn’t hugging me back. His body had tensed up, and his hands didn’t go for my waist or my ass like he usually did. When I looked up at him, in hopes that I could get a kiss, I knew that I wasn’t going to get one because his face was even harder than before.
“What’s wrong, bae? I was able to come. I thought you’d be happy to see me,” I asked, looking up at him with confused eyes, trying to figure out why he wasn’t showing signs of being happy that I was there.
He looked around the outside area that we were standing in, and about twenty people at the most were scattered around, but they weren’t paying the two of us any attention at all. I knew what went on around this part of the projects at this time of night, so I knew that the men posted up on the wall were dealing drugs, and some of the women who were standing around were there to get fucked.
There was an apartment not too far from where I was standing, and it was basically like a trap house/prostitution house. Had I never met Raheem, I probably would have never known that. This was the place where my grandma chose to live, but you couldn’t tell her nothing about moving because she loved it. As if the cops were somewhere around, Raheem continued to scan the area with his eyes until he finally pulled me by my arm into the dirty, pissy hallway of the apartment building where it was just me and him.
