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Who would ever think that him simply asking me if I wanted some candy would turn me on? It was the way he asked. My words got caught up in my throat, so all I did was shake my head, letting him know that I didn’t need anything. Za’Kai only had a few things, so the cashier had finished with him in no time. For whatever reason, I expected him to leave once he checked out, but he didn’t. If anything, when the cart was emptied of all the groceries and put on the belt for the cashier to slide, he dragged the cart down then bagged my groceries and placed them in the cart.
I don’t even think he realized for that second what he was doing. Like, it just came natural for him to be a man and help me out. I was looking at my daughter the whole time, and she had this silly grin plastered on her face, so I just knew that she was getting ready to bomb me with questions the moment we got in the car.
“Okay, that’ll be $241.63,” the cashier called out once everything was rang up.
I quickly went inside the small Gucci purse that I had wrapped around my body in search of my debit card that I threw in there before I left the house. As soon as I found it, I looked up and saw Za’Kai handing the cashier three crisp one hundred dollar bills. I instantly shook my head, ready to reach over and snatch the money from the cashier so I could politely hand it back to him. It was one thing for him to buy me a drink in the club, but it was a whole different thing for him to spend almost three hundred dollars for my groceries.
“Za’Kai, I got it. Ma’am, give him back the money. I’ll pay for it,” I said with a stern look on my face as I stood over the credit card machine ready to stick my card inside.
“Cash it out, shorty,” Za’Kai said, ignoring me and telling the cashier what to do.
She didn’t even look like she was confused on which decision she should make because she all of a sudden just cashed the order out and then handed Za’Kai his change. I didn’t want Za’Kai to spend money on me because for one, he didn’t owe me anything, so he didn’t have to do that. Secondly, I was with a man for years, and I allowed him to pretty much do everything for me. As a result of that, I became his property.
One of the things that Jerrod loved to do whenever he and I got into an argument was throw all the things in my face that he’d done for me, and I wasn’t trying to go down that road with another man. I didn’t want one day for Za’Kai and I to have a falling out and he threw in my face the time he paid for my groceries or whatever else he decided he wanted to pay for.
“You know you didn’t have to do that. I have my own money,” I let him know the moment we
made it outside.
“What you just told me a while back when I told you that you didn’t have to go to the funeral? You said you know you don’t have to go, right? Well, I know that I didn’t have to pay for your groceries, but if I got it, then why the fuck not? I’m a real nigga, shorty, and one day, you’ll realize that. What? I was supposed to bag all your shit up and then stand to the side and let you pay for it? I don’t make moves like that. Where your car at so I can help you put all this shit in? It’s late as fuck, and you out here grocery shopping with the baby,” he said, shaking his head.
I had to laugh because it was just a little after nine, yet he was calling it late.
“It’s not even ten o’clock yet, so how’s it late?” I asked him.
At the same time, he and I walked to the car while he pushed the cart and Jada did one of her favorite things, which was standing on the front of cart, allowing Za’Kai to push her. She was in her own little world, so she didn’t pay our conversation any attention.
“In my book, it’s late. Had you been my shorty, I wouldn’t have let your ass out the house this late to go grocery shopping. I would have told you to wait until the morning, or if it was something that important, I would have gone out and gotten it for you. It’s a dangerous world, shorty. Niggas prey on beautiful women like yourself just about every day,” he said, and I nodded my head to that.
For whatever reason, I started thinking about how life would have been if I was his girlfriend. I got the feeling from Za’Kai that he was one of those boyfriends who could be an asshole to everyone else, but when it came to his girl, he could be a sweetheart. It was just something about him that I really liked. He had the ability to make my entire body melt when I was in his presence and make me feel protected at the same time.
For example, I hated going to clubs, especially the clubs in Miami because I felt like the people who came out to party didn’t always know how to act. If you turn on the news sometimes, you’ll see where there have been shoot outs in the middle of the club, and for that reason, I didn’t care to go. But when I was with Za’Kai, wrapped up in his arms on the dance floor, you couldn’t tell me that he wasn’t my personal shield.
The moment we made it to the car, I unlocked it and started it with my key while I helped Jada into her booster seat. Za’Kai loaded all the groceries in the back seat, and when he was done, he stood there staring at me.
“I’m going to head out now. Remember that you don’t have to feel obligated to come with me to the funeral tomorrow. I’ll still text you over the information and stuff tonight, but I wouldn’t stress myself over it. Drive safe, and don’t be speeding and shit. Remember what happened the last time?” he joked, as he stood with his arms out, so I could walk into his embrace.
I mentally battled with myself on whether I should hug him or not because I knew my daughter had to have been in the car watching us like a hawk. Meanwhile, I’d already shared a long conversation with him inside and outside the grocery store in front of her, allowed him to pay for my groceries and load the groceries into the car, so I didn’t think that a quick hug would hurt.
I walked into his embrace, and instead of it being one of those little church hugs that I planned to give him, I wrapped my arms around his neck while his went around my waist, and we stood there for a few seconds. As much as I wanted to let him go, I didn’t because his hold on me was tight. He was hugging me like he needed me, and when I thought about it, he probably did. He was getting ready to bury his father tomorrow, so he probably needed one of those hugs more than anything.
It took a while, but we finally released each other, and he let me know one more time to drive safe before he walked off. With a silly grin on my face, I quickly got in the car and backed out of the parking space.
“Who was that, Mommy?” was the first thing my daughter asked.
We weren’t even out the parking lot yet, and she’d already managed to question me about Za’Kai. I couldn’t even say that I was shocked, though, because I knew this was coming from her. I wasn’t the type of parent who liked to lie to my kids, so I thought about what I was going to say before I actually said it.
“That’s Mommy’s friend, that’s it,” I said, looking at her through the rearview mirror as she nodded her little head, making the beads that were on the end of her braids shake.
“Daddy told me not to tell you, but he had a friend too. The other day when he picked me up late from school, his friend was in the car. Both you and daddy have friends then. When are the two of them going to meet?” my daughter asked.
I slammed on my brakes in the middle of the road because I was taken aback by what she’d just said. Granted, I knew that Jerrod was fuckin’ around because of the hickie that he came to the hospital with, and that same day that he came to the hospital after picking Jada up from school, he walked into the hospital room with his pants zipper undone. Yes, it could have meant that he forgot to zip them back up when he finished using the restroom or something like that, but I knew better.
I honestly couldn’t give two fucks that Jerrod was out there fuckin’ women because I knew what his sex felt like, so it wasn’t like he was giving these bitches something that was worth beating their asses over. What did annoy the fuck out of me was the fact that he was bringing his little friends around my child. The situation with Za’Kai and me was different because had I never run into him tonight at the store, my kids would have never known who he was because I refused to expose them to certain things.
“I’m not sure when the two of them will meet, Jada. Don’t keep secrets from me either. You can tell me about all of the little friends that your father has, alright?” I asked her, and she nodded her little head.
The whole car ride home, Jada talked my ear off about Za’Kai. The little girl didn’t even know him, yet she kept going on and on about how much she liked him and how she wanted Jaden to meet him too. I felt like she only liked him because he’d bought her the candy bar when I told her that I wouldn’t. Then, I had to think about it and tell myself that it could be a little deeper than that. Tonight, Za’Kai had actually shown my daughter some attention, which was something that she lacked from her father. She had just expressed to me the other day that she no longer cared to go to her father’s house because he always acted as if he was too busy for her. If only she knew how much I was able to relate to her.
