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I was left to stand there and look like a quick fuck and someone who was just in denial. He made me look crazy, and I could only imagine the psycho bitches that his wife had to have been calling me. I didn’t like her. It didn’t have anything with her calling me out of my name either, it was more so the hold that she had on Jerrod. It was so evident in the way he looked at her that night that he still loved and cared about her. That hurt me because I loved and cared about him.
As I had time to sit and dissect this situation with Jerrod and me, I began to feel like he used me. Like, I was just something to do while him and his wife went through their marital issues. I mean, look how quick he was to have sex with me. He didn’t know much about me when he and I had sex for the first time. I thought about the strokes that he delivered to my body when he and I had sex for the first time and how he was so rough with me. Now that I think about it, those actions spoke volumes. I was sure he was sexing me that day but wishing in his head that I was his wife.
“No. He isn’t answering the phone for me. I called his job, and they even said that he hadn’t been in for the past week. We all know that that’s not like him. That man loves that job more than anyone or anything,” I said, and his mother nodded in agreeance.
She had a look on her face like she had something that she wanted to tell me, but she was insure if she should say it or not.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She took a few sips from her glass of water and then placed all of her attention on me. I watched as she cleared her throat and then looked around the exquisite restaurant just to make sure that no one was in ear shot of what she was getting ready to tell me before she proceeded.
“Jerrod was arrested a couple of weeks ago for assault against his wife. I don’t know everything about it because he’s still upset with me and he isn’t talking to me or taking any of my phone calls, so I had to get this information from Raymond. From what Jerrod told Raymond, he’d popped up at Takari’s house unannounced, and it was just the kids there. He started snooping through her things and found a pregnancy test. The baby isn’t his, so he flipped out. They’re accusing my son of assault, and in a few weeks, he has to go before a judge.
“I’m not buying it, though. I didn’t raise any of my children to put their hands on women. They never witnessed their father putting his hands on me, so I’m having a hard time believing that my son would do the things that they are accusing him of,” she let me know.
As she talked, I could see all the anger that was on her face, and if I might add, the denial too. As much as I loved and cared for Jerrod, I was also smart enough to know that he wasn’t just going to get falsely accused of putting his hands on his wife. There had to be some truth to the story.
“I don’t even know what to say. Jerrod is always a sweetheart when it comes to me. Yes, he can be selfish at times, but I would never correlate him with being the physical type,” I said, shaking my head and taking a sip of the mimosa that was in front of me.
“I’m going to say something to you that I haven’t said out loud to anyone,” she said, and like the last time, she examined her surroundings before she opened her mouth to speak. “I want to get rid of his wife. She just isn’t any good for my son. For years, I’ve sat idle and let her get away with whatever, but it’s time that I step in now. My son is a good man, and it’s because of her ghetto ass that he had to go to jail. There’s a possibility that he may have to serve some time, but we have the best lawyer in town, so hopefully he won’t. I want her gone, Valentina. Not out of the state or country gone, but out of this world. I need her away from my son because I don’t like the person that he turns into when he’s with her,” she let me know.
I’m not going to lie, listening to her talk like this sent chills up my spine because I knew she wasn’t just talking; she was serious. The thing is, I wanted in. I wanted in because I knew that Jerrod would never fully love me the way that I loved him as long as his wife was in the picture.
“I’m in. Where do we start?” I asked.
14
Takari Smith
“For me to be a teenager, I swear you don’t let me have a mind of my own. What happened to being able to compromise with your kids? You’re always forcing me to do something that I don’t want to do,” my bratty teenager said from the backseat.
Lord knows I wanted to reach back and slap her ass, but I slowly counted to ten and finished pulling out the driveway of my townhouse. It was Saturday afternoon, and today was the day that Za’Kai and I were going to bring our kids together and have them meet. We were all going to the beach, and because all of my kids loved the beach, I just assumed that Journey would be happy. The twins were happy and couldn’t stop bouncing around in their seats while asking me how long was it going to take for us to get there.
What Journey didn’t know was that she was making this so much harder on me. I was already nervous about having my kids officially meet Za’Kai, and because she was being so damn negative, she was making me have doubts. Feeling like I was moving too fast. Feeling like I was wrong for bringing my kids around another man. Then, I had to remind myself that this wasn’t just some random man. This was a man who I was deeply in love with, pregnant with his child, and someone who I actually saw a future with. It meant the world to me for my kids to like Za’Kai.
Each day that went by, this man showed me just how much he loved me. I never asked him what he had to do in order to get Jerrod to sign the divorce papers, but all I knew was that the divorce was final, and my last name was back to Smith. I lay in bed at night, and I had no choice but to think about the assault that took place between me and Jerrod. For him to put his hands on me was one thing, but for him to really do it in the presence of our children was another. I’d never forgive him for this. I’d always hate him for it. I wouldn’t prevent my kids from have a relationship with Jerrod, but they all hated him right now. He’d failed them big time with this one.
As I reflected over the assault, I had to tell myself that the signs had always been there. The jealousy had been there for as long as I could remember. I remember one day in college, Jerrod had caught another guy looking at me. Do you know that this man stopped talking to me for weeks, claiming that I liked the attention the guy was giving me, which is why I didn’t say anything to him about it? He always came off as intimidated or insecure when it came to me, and I felt like those we
re all signs that one day he could possibly be abusive.
I wouldn’t say that I blamed myself for letting things get this far out of hand with Jerrod because it was just a learning experience for me. Now that the divorce was final, the next thing that I was working on was a restraining order against him. I wanted no type of communication with that man whatsoever. I still didn’t know what I was going to do as far as letting him see the kids because right now, I just couldn’t trust him. I didn’t want to know the lengths that he would go to try to hurt me, and it was just a risk that I didn’t want to take. I couldn’t have him harm my kids as his way of getting back at me. So, for now, I wasn’t going to allow him to see them. Period.
“Journey, why do you have to be so damn negative? Look at the way you act, and you expect me to compromise with you? Please don’t make this day any harder on me than it has to be,” I told her, and she rolled her eyes but didn’t say anything.
It was so obvious that she was back to her old ways with her nasty attitude now that I wasn’t in pain and I was back to myself. When I came home from the hospital, she was back to being my little angel. Asking me every other hour if I needed anything, attempting to cook food for me, and the ultimate was when she would sleep in the bed with me at night. Boyyy, the moment the swelling went down, and I was back to myself, she went back to being the little “biotch” from hell.
I’m not going to even lie, as my daughter entered her teenage years, I would question a lot if she loved me or not because she acted like she didn’t but seeing the way she acted toward me after the assault just proved that she did indeed loved me. I didn’t want to feel as if I was giving up with her, but God, she made parenting a teenager so hard. I was even looking into therapy for the two of us, but I didn’t want to seem weak. I didn’t want to seem like I didn’t know how to handle my kids, so I had to go looking for outside help.
“Since I’m going, can you at least think about letting me go to my prom at my old school then? Ma, prior to today, I’ve been good. My grades are exceptional, I’ve been helping with the twins, and I haven’t been sneaking around and lying like I used to. Please, Ma,” she begged. My daughter had been talking about this damn prom at her old school for the past few months, and for the longest, my answer had been no. Now that I think about it, her behavior did change drastically, so I may let her go.
“Behave today, and I’ll think about it,” I said, not wanting to just jump and give her a yes.
After that, nothing else was said in the car. The twins had fallen asleep because of the long ride, and Journey had just stopped talking altogether. I had the music playing lightly, and in another ten minutes or so, I was pulling my car into the garage where Za’Kai had told me to park. It wasn’t long before we were all getting out of the car and waiting to cross the street.
“Shrimp.”
A deep voice called my name, and I swear I felt myself cream up in the Burberry swimming bottoms that I was wearing because I knew who the sexy voice belonged to. I turned around, and there he was, looking like the world’s number one sexiest father. His eight-year-old daughter, Zakiya, who he often talked to me about was in his arms, and she had one of her little arms wrapped around his neck, basically like, this is my daddy! I smiled at her because just like the last time I saw her at the movie theater and the park, she was absolutely gorgeous.
