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“Where is your mom and Shaniqua?” she asked once we walked past the kitchen and she didn’t see them anymore.
“Shaniqua went home and my mom went upstairs to her room. She’s probably asleep,” I told her, opening the front door for us.
“Well, whenever you talk to them again, let them know that I enjoyed myself and I wouldn’t mind coming over to spend time with them again,” she said with hopeful eyes.
“I got you,” I said and opened the car door for her then went and got in on my side.
The car ride was quiet, except for the air that was blowing. I wanted to so badly just get her to open up with a nigga, but damn, I didn’t want the shit to feel like it was being forced.
We pulled up into her apartment complex and I parked the car in the middle of the parking lot, like I always did. I looked over at Antonia when she grabbed the door handle and I stopped her.
“You need anything? You good?” I asked her. I wasn’t even going to get out because I knew that she wouldn’t want me to.
“No, I don’t need anything, I’m fine. Thank you for letting me meet your family tonight, Jah,” she said.
“No problem,” I told her and she got out of the car.
I watched as she took the stairs up to her floor, and once she rounded the corner, I didn’t see her anymore. I leaned my head back in the seat and the sound of my phone ringing, snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked down at the screen and noticed that it was Tynesha. I knew what she was calling for, and all of this wrecking my brain, trying to figure out what the hell has been going on with Antonia was stressing a nigga the fuck out. So, getting a nut or two off would most likely ease my stress.
“What’s good?” I asked Tynesha once I answered the phone.
“I’m trying to see what’s up with you. Can you come see me? I miss you, Jah,” she said sexily into the phone. I leaned my head back in the seat and imagined her giving a nigga some good, toe curling head.
“Where you at?” I asked her.
“I’m at my mama’s house,” she told me.
“And who all over there?” I asked her because if I was coming over to fuck, I wanted to fuck in peace.
“It’s just me and my little sister, Meccah, but she’s in her room sleep,” she said.
“Alright, I’m on my way,” I said and ended the phone call.
Damn, a nigga really needed this nut.
Chapter 10: Antonia
“Okay, Antonia. Your turn,” Mrs. Williams said, calling me up to the podium so that I could share my essay with the class.
I slowly stood and made my way to the front of the classroom. I looked around the class and everybody was staring at me, waiting for me to begin. I was a little bit nervous because my essay was different from the others that had gone up to read theirs.
I cleared my throat and then I began. “A few day ago, in this very same classroom, I was asked to give a scenario to the class on what love means to me. It was kind of funny to me because I watched many of my classmates express to the class so easily of the last encounter they had when they had received loved. It was so easy for them to just take that scenario from the back of their head and quickly recite it to the class. Sadly, I couldn’t do the same.
“Yesterday, when I got home from school, I went to the library and I researched what the word love actually means. I came to the conclusion that love is an intense feeling of deep affection. Things like, fondness, tenderness, and warmth. Now that I had that part, it was time for me to think of the scenario that I could use and share with the class. Funny how all the examples that I’ve heard thus far have been scenarios of love that each and all of you are receiving from your families.
“Two days ago, I went home and I cleaned up my aunt’s house spotless for her. I’m talking from the kitchen, the living room, and the bathrooms. I had her house so spotless because I knew that in a few hours she would be coming home from out of town and I wanted her to have something clean to come home to. Later on, I asked myself, why did I go out my way like that? Couldn’t I have just cleaned the kitchen and been done with it like I usually do? Well, the answer to that question is I did it because of love. I lost my mother when I was only six years old and my aunt stepped up to the plate and took me in. If she never would have done that, Lord knows where I would be right now. Even though I love her, it doesn’t mean that I love the situation that I’m in.
“While at the library, I also learned that love can turn around, and just because you give a person love, doesn’t mean that they will hand that same love over to you. I say that to say, there’s a thin line between love and hate. In closing, you can love someone so much and as time goes on and you finally accept it in your heart that that person doesn’t equally love you as much as you love them, it can turn into hate. I’m hating myself for loving my aunt too much and I’m hating my mother for leaving me with her to raise me,” I said and the whole class looked at me shocked as I ended my paper.
I looked at Mrs. Williams and watched as she wiped a lone tear from her eye. I didn’t flat out say that I was getting my ass beat on a daily basis. However, a smart person could easily read between the lines and take from my speech that I was going through some hardcore shit. The bell rang, dismissing us from the classroom. I packed up my book bag and headed out of the class. My next three classes went by pretty fast, and before I knew it, it was time for lunch.
I w
alked into the cafeteria with this heavy ass book bag on my back and made my way to the lunch line. I stood in line for about ten minutes, and once I had my food in my hands, I walked out and spotted Tacarra sitting at the table with her friends. I didn’t know what type of mindset Tacarra was in today, and I was a little apprehensive about going over to the table and joining them. Fuck it. It was a free damn country, and I was tired of sitting by myself during lunch.
I shouldn’t have to come to school and feel isolated, especially when I have someone here that I considered a friend. So, with my tray in hand, I walked over to the table and took a seat next to Tacarra. I watched as her friends sized me up and down, and Tacarra wasn’t even going to speak, if I hadn’t spoken first. She gave me a dry wave and I just scooted over because I guess she wasn’t fuckin’ with me today.
“Girl, Wednesday night Jah came over to the house and him and Tynesha was in the room fuckin so loud, a bitch couldn’t even get any sleep,” one of Tacarra’s friends said. I believed her name was Meccah or something like that.
