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“Sssh, I’m not going to hurt you, beautiful,” he said, locking the bedroom door.
I scooted my body up to the bedpost and pulled the covers up, hiding my body from him. I looked over at my little cousins who were sleeping so peacefully. He followed my gaze and then he looked back at me.
“I promise, if you scream, I will go over there and suffocate all three of their little asses. Who the fuck you think your aunt is going to believe? She hates your ass, so of course it’s going to be my word against y
ours,” he told me as she made his way to my bed.
I shook my head no as tears steadily fell from my eyes. “Please don’t do this,” I whispered to him, but my cries fell on deaf ears as he removed his pants and his boxers. He climbed onto the bed with me and pulled me down by my ankles. I was putting up a fight until he grabbed me by my neck and gave me a menacing look.
“Do you fuckin’ think I’m playing with you? I will kill those little bastards in a heartbeat,” he said in a whisper.
He let go of my neck and pushed me down, so that I was lying completely on my back. I watched as he removed my cotton pajama bottoms and then my underwear. My body shook each time he touched me, and I was scared for my life. He roughly spread my legs apart and then he reached down in his pants and pulled something out. I watched as he placed a condom on his penis, and once it was on, he spit on his fingers and rubbed against my most sacred place.
I was being violated and there was nothing that I could do to stop this from happening. Once he finished rubbing me, he placed one hand over my mouth and roughly slid his big penis inside me. My virginity was something that I would never be able to give up willingly for the first time because right here, at this moment, it was being taken away from me.
The pain that my body was experiencing right now was worse than any beating that I had ever had before. It felt like his dick was ripping into me and slowly killing me at the same time. While he pumped inside of me with a look of enjoyment on his sweaty face, I lay on my back with a face drenched in tears, silently praying to God, asking him why would he allow things like this to continue to happen to me. I read my bible daily. I knew that you weren’t supposed to ever question God, but how could he claim to love me, and then turn around and put people in my life who are constantly treating me this way?
I noticed his pumps had gotten weaker, and then a few seconds later, he let out this grunt and sank his heavy body on top of mine. I felt a gush of fluids fall out of me and then the warm feeling traveled down my legs. He kissed me on my lips and then rose up from the bed.
“I promise, if you ever tell anyone about this, I will kill your ass,” he told me and I nodded my head.
He left the room like nothing ever happened, and closed the door behind him.
“Our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.” I recited my prayer like I always did and cried myself to sleep.
I knew for a fact that after this night, my life would never be the same. I never wanted to be that girl who had to grow up and tell stories about how I had got raped when I was in high school. I didn’t mind telling stories of the abuse that I had been experiencing because I was learning how to cope with that. But when do you ever come to grips with the fact that your body had been taken advantage of and there was nothing that you could do to stop it? Even if I were to tell my aunt about tonight, I knew for a fact that she wouldn’t believe me because she never believed anything that I ever said. If her boyfriend said anything right tonight, it was the fact that my aunt would choose his word over mine.
Sad part about it is, I was her flesh and blood. He was just somebody that she was screwing for the time being.
Chapter 11: Tacarra
Two Months Later
It was Thursday morning and I was excited because tomorrow was senior skip day and all the seniors had plans to go and chill at South Beach. I couldn’t wait to wear my bathing suit that I had bought over the weekend from Victoria Secret. Right now, I was standing in my mirror, getting ready for school when my mom barged into my room.
“Are you inviting Antonia to go with you tomorrow to the beach?” my mom asked me.
My mom was okay with me participating in the whole senior skip day because she was once a teenager before, and she told me stories about how she used to participate in those type of things at school.
“Umm, no, I didn’t ask her,” I told my mom honestly.
Funny thing is, Antonia hadn’t been the same for the past two months. She was normally like this itch in my ass that I couldn’t get to go away. She would always just pop up on me at school, but lately every time I saw her, she would be by herself. I mean, she didn’t even come sit with me at the table for lunch or anything anymore, not like I wanted her to. Shit, who knows? Maybe her dumb ass had finally gotten the hint that I didn’t want to be bothered with her ass anymore.
“Well, you should. She’s a senior as well, and I’m quite sure that she would want to participate in whatever you all have planned for tomorrow,” my mom said.
I sucked my teeth and blew out a breath of frustration. “Oh my God, Mama! She is so annoying. Besides, we’re going to be eating and stuff, and she never has any money. So, she’s going to be looking for me to pay for my stuff plus hers,” I whined.
I couldn’t understand why my mom was so damn fixated on me hanging with this girl. If she liked her that damn much, then hell she should be her damn friend!
I watched as my mom dug into her purse and pulled out her wallet. She then pulled out a fifty-dollar bill and handed it over to me.
“Isn’t her birthday on Saturday? Give this to her and tell her it’s from me! So, now she will have money and you don’t have to worry about her asking you for shit, Tacarra. You go on out to that school and you invite Antonia to the beach as well! That’s going to be your ass if you don’t!” my mom said and then left the room.
I stuffed the money into my pocket, grabbed my purse and my binder, and I was out the door, heading to school. I hated my first period class because it was math, but luckily, I made it through the class as well as my next three classes. Right when I was about to talk into the cafeteria, I saw Antonia coming from out of the science building. I turned around so that I could go and meet up with her.
“Hey,” I said, as soon as I had caught up with her.
“Hey, Tacarra,” she said with a smile on her face.
