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“Dead?” I repeated.
Mila nodded. “I think I killed him.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Mila
Music helped a lot. I just lay on my bed in my room and listened to different kinds of music. If the music was loud enough, it drowned out my thoughts to an extent, but it didn’t help the memories from flooding me every now and then.
It was strange how memory worked in the first place. Some things came back in spotty recollections that seemed aged somehow. And other moments were so vividly detailed that it amazed me how much I’d managed to retain in such tensely frightening moments.
Like that moment just after Walter had ordered me out of the car. We had faced one another, and he had just promised me that he was going to rape me first. That was when my resolve had first formed. I wasn’t sure I could beat him, but I was not going to just lie down and let him humiliate me. If I did that, I would be stripping myself of any power I had, and I refused to make it easy for him.
I had charged at him, and that charge had gone in slow motion for me. I saw the shock in Walter’s eyes when he realized that I was actually trying to fight him. Then I’d seen the amusement follow straight after. He was amused that I thought I had a chance of taking him on. If anything, that just made me want to fight harder.
He was so cocky that he didn’t even bother to move. He just stood there, which gave me a great advantage. I aimed the punch for his stomach, and I hit him with such beautiful precision that I knew Zack would have been proud of me. Walter was not expecting the force and strength of that punch. He grunted forward, and then I swirled around and kicked him in the face, sending him straight to the ground.
I saw the amusement drop from his face, and my confidence soared to new heights. He had just realized that I was not some helpless girl he could use and discard. He had just realized that I hadn’t just been hiding these past few months. I had been preparing.
“Huh,” Walter had said, as he got to his feet. “The bitch has learned to bite.”
“I can do more than just bite.”
“Remember that the only reason you managed to make a hit in the first place was that I was unprepared,” Walter said. “It won’t happen again.”
I clenched my fists and refused to let him get inside my head. I knew he didn’t have a gun on him, but there was a knife hidden behind the waistband of his jeans, and my next goal had been to get my hands on it somehow. The second time, Walter was the one who lunged at me. I moved deftly to the side and felt a little burst of triumph when Walter stumbled to the side without managing to touch me.
He may have had strength on his side, but I had speed. Zack had also taught me how to fight an opponent who was larger and stronger than I was. I had never managed to bring Zack down, but I had succeeded with several of the other guys. Walter was closer to Zack’s size and build, but he wasn’t as smart or as skilled, and I knew I had to use that to my advantage.
He wasn’t smiling when he rounded on me the second time. He was angry. He hadn’t counted on me fighting back. He had expected to humiliate me, and not once had he ever considered the possibility that I might be the one humiliating him. I decided to try and goad him into losing focus. It was just another way to distract him so that he would make mistakes when he attacked me.
“You should really thank me,” I said as we circled each other.
“Why the fuck should I thank you?” he demanded, narrowing his eyes at me.
“You wanted to bring an audience, remember?” I reminded him. “If you had, they would have watched a woman beat your ass. That would have been embarrassing.”
He had actually growled at me, and I knew my plan was working. He tried to grab me again, but I managed to wriggle away from his grasp and throw a backhanded kick his way. He didn’t stumble this time. He held his ground and grabbed my arm with a vice grip that I couldn’t break from.
I felt a moment of panic as he pulled me towards him and head butted me so hard that I collapsed on the ground in front of him. Then he sent a kick straight to my chest, and I fell flat on my back as pain whizzed through my body. I found it hard to breathe, but I knew that I couldn’t let myself be so blinded by the pain that I stopped fighting.
“Is that all you’ve got?” Walter asked, circling me.
He was smiling again, and I could tell that he thought it would be easy for him now. He thought he had defeated me. He thought he had reduced me to a broken and helpless victim once more and now all he had to do was reap the spoils.
“Are you ready for my cock?” he asked, as he started to unbuckle his trousers.
I thought about the knife attached to his trousers, and I watched him pull down his zipper. I put on an act for his benefit, allowing my eyes to roll back in my head to make it seem like I was struggling to remain conscious. The truth was the pain from his hits had already become background noise to me. I was ready for the next move.
He was about to lower himself down onto me when my eyes flashed open, and I slammed my knee up into his groin. My aim was slightly off, but I still made an impact. He yelled in pain and keeled over; exposing the knife I had my eye on. I didn’t hesitate. I grabbed it, but it was hooked into his waistband, and I had to disentangle it. That gave him enough time to realize what I was doing and push back.
I managed to get the knife, but now that he knew what I was after, he tried to gain possession of the knife again. We ended up on the dirty ground together, rolling around, trying to get possession of the knife. I managed to get the blade out of the holster, and without stopping to think, I brought the blade down on part of him. In the heat of the moment, I didn’t even know what part of him it was.
All I knew was that he was all over, and I needed to get him off me somehow. He screamed, loud and guttural, and I managed to push him off me and get to my feet. He was lying there, bleeding from the stab wound I’d managed to make in his leg. It was on his upper thigh, but the fabric of his trousers had managed to protect him somewhat. He looked more furious than ever, as he got to his feet and came at me with a slight limp.
I still had the knife, and I planned to use it, but I was also aware of the fact that Walter had just upped his game. He had finally realized that I was going to put up a good fight, and he wasn’t thinking of entertaining himself anymore. He just wanted to end me.
He lunged again, but his movements were slower because of the stab wound to his leg. I ducked and tried to whirl away from his grasp, but his hand sped out and grabbed me by the hair. He pulled hard, and I hit the ground, but he didn’t let go of my hair. He started dragging me towards the car, and I realized that I’d completely forgot about how we’d gotten here.
