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I leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. He didn’t return my kiss immediately, but a second later, I felt him give a little. Then his hands came around me, and I felt my body relax into his. We undressed each other slowly, taking our time, kissing passionately as we did so. His lips were soft and tender against my skin, and his hands were earnest as they ran up and down my body.
I pulled off my pants, and then I unzipped his. He undid my bra and threw it to the floor, and then his hands cupped my breasts and massaged them slowly, with the lightest of pressures. As his fingers encircled my nipples, I placed my hand on his erect cock and moved my hand back and forth.
We fell back onto my bed, and I was on top. So I scaled down and slipped his cock into my mouth. I sucked his penis hard, taking him as far in as I could handle without gagging. I felt his body shudder under my tongue, and I felt myself moisten uncomfortably. I felt my whole body tingle with anticipation, but it was anticipation that I was happy to postpone, because what came before was equally wonderful.
After a few minutes, Zack placed his hand on the back of my head and guided me up gently. Then he grabbed me by the waist and flipped me over so that now he was the one who was on top. Then he slipped down my body, kissing my neck, my breasts, and my stomach. He stopped between my legs and pushed them apart. His tongue against my wet pussy felt indescribably amazing, and within minutes, I could feel my orgasm coming fast and hard.
The moment my body stilled in the aftermath of my first orgasm, Zack pulled himself up once more and entered me gently. We fucked passionately… and as beautiful as it was, I felt so very sad that I thought I was going to start crying right then and there. I wanted to tell him, but I just couldn’t bring myself to admit that I’d fallen in love with him. He had told me from the beginning that that was not who he was; it would be naïve now to think I could just tell him how I felt and expect the answer I wanted from him.
As we came to climax together, I wrapped my arms around his body, and I felt my body shudder with relief as the orgasm rocked us both. I felt a single tear slip from my eye, but I managed to wipe it away against the sheets before Zack could notice.
Lying there in his arms, I stared up at the ceiling, and I realized how significant this moment was. We were two mismatched people who had come together unexpectedly and found solace and strength in one another’s company. And perhaps because we were so mismatched, it was hard to communicate sometimes. It was hard to be vulnerable, so when the time came, I knew we wouldn’t be able to say goodbye to one another.
But perhaps we had already done just that… the only way we knew how. We had expressed the significance of our relationship wordlessly, just now, with our bodies and our entwined limbs. It was the only way I knew to say goodbye.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Zack
“Where’s Mila?” I asked as I stepped into the house.
Devon and a few of the other guys were playing darts in the living room, and he looked up when he saw me. “Uh… I think she said she was going for a walk.”
I glanced at the staircase, and I noticed a bag there that I had seen in Mila’s room before. I knew I shouldn’t have asked, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Whose bag is that?” I asked.
“Mila’s,” Devon replied, turning his attention back to the dart game.
I wondered if he was being purposefully evasive, or if he was really just that involved in the dart game. I decided to leave it at that.
“Do you know where?” I asked instead.
“Where what?” Red asked.
I sighed in frustration. “Do you know where Mila went for her walk?”
“Just up the hill, I think,” Red replied.
I turned and headed in the direction of my childhood home. I was pretty sure that was where she was headed. It was nice and lonely; the boys didn’t often go down there out of respect for my parents’ memories, and it was a special spot for the both of us. We had formed a stronger connection while we had walked through the empty rooms of that house.
As I came up along the slightly slanting hill, I saw Mila at the top, staring down at the house. Again, I had the feeling that she was some ethereal being that didn’t really belong to this world, much less my world. She was wearing a subtle yellow dress with a flowing skirt that blew softly in the wind. It created a beautiful contrast against the brightness of her auburn hair that held bright streaks of red where the sunlight fell.
Her back was to me, so I couldn’t see her face, but I imagined she looked sad. That was how she had looked the last week after she had made her decision to move to Maine. She and Devon had planned everything between them, and they were planning on heading out early tomorrow morning. Devon would stay with Mila for a few weeks till she got settled in, and then he would head back.
Mila and I had spent the last week spending as much time together as possible. We had fucked often and passionately, and we had spent hours talking late into the night, but never about her impending departure. It was always about something unrelated, something safe and removed from the act of leaving.
Several times during the week, I had come close to telling her to just scrap her plans and stay here with me. It was completely out of character and strange for me to even think that I’d come to this point in my life, but I could no longer deny the fact that Mila had changed me. I was no longer the hardened man I used to be. I was no longer jaded and cynical and uninterested in long-term re
lationships. Suddenly, I wanted so much more than the life I was living.
That alone was hard for me to believe. I had never imagined I would ever reach a point when I was unhappy with my life. I had always thought of myself as lucky… to be free and independent and removed from the restraints and judgments of society. But now I realized that there were parts that were worth the fight, and it took Mila’s entrance into my life to make me see it.
Mila was so wrapped up in thought that she didn’t hear me coming until I came to stand beside her. She gave a start of surprise, then when she realized who it was, she smiled.
“I didn’t hear you coming.”
“You were busy thinking.”
