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“I drank, but I kept away from the drugs. I’ve done pot but nothing harder. I remembered how my father behaved when he was high, and I didn’t want to be like him. Paul, however…he started using. And when he used, he changed. Our relationship grew strained for a time, and then there was a drug bust in the area. Everyone was on high alert, and we knew we were being watched.
“One day the storehouse was raided,” Phil continued. “Paul was out at the time doing a delivery run with Mackey and Fitz. I was in the back with another guy called Hans. Jonas and a few other guys were in the business end of the storeroom. They were armed, and when the cops busted in, they opened fire.”
“What?” I asked, in shock.
“Hans and I managed to get out through a back window. We took cover and watched as the cops overpowered everyone in the storehouse. If those idiots had just left their guns alone, they might have lived, but as it happens, no one survived.”
“No one?”
“Five of our guys died that day and one cop,” I replied. “After that, the gang basically disintegrated. Jonas was the brain behind the operation, and he died in the storehouse shooting. Paul and I got a tiny place in a rundown neighborhood to put that part of our life behind us.
“At least, that’s what we agreed to do. But a few months later, I realized that Paul was still using. He knew some of the suppliers that Jonas had used, and he was obviously getting his drugs from them.
“I was seventeen at the time, and I was starting to want more for my life. I watched Paul become more and more like my father, and it made me sick. I was determined not to become like either one of them. So I left.
“I rented out this tiny attic space in the home of an elderly couple. They cut me a break on the price. I lived there for about two years, working three different jobs. I started thinking about what I wanted for my future. Soon, I earned enough to be able to afford a place of my own. It was a shitty studio apartment in the shittiest neighborhood imaginable—but it was my own and that meant something to me.”
“Did you keep in touch with your brother?” I asked.
“We didn’t speak for six months after I left,” Phil told me. “But we reconnected after that and kept in touch. I chose to believe him when he said he was clean. Whenever I did meet him, he seemed pretty together. He was thinner than I remembered and much paler, but I didn’t think too hard about it. I didn’t pry into his life, and he didn’t pry into mine.” Phil sighed.
“And then…he got caught. Turns out he had used Jonas’ old suppliers and had continued the business, but on a smaller scale. He had tried to sell drugs to an undercover cop who’d developed a relationship with him over the course of months.”
“Wow…”
Phil sighed. “It was such a waste—of his life, his future.”
I leaned in and kissed him softly on the cheek. “Thank you for sharing all that with me.”
Phil gave me a smile. “It felt good to tell you,” he said. “It felt…freeing.”
He kissed me on the lips, and I felt our connection burn bright. When we pulled away, his eyes were soft and present. “Let’s get some pizza.”
“Now?” I asked, in surprise.
“Yes.” He nodded. “I want to finish our date.”
I smiled. “Okay.”
We walked through the park to the parking lot, and the whole time he kept a firm grip on my hand. I couldn’t help feeling that if he never let go, I wouldn’t mind one bit.
Chapter Eleven
Phil
For the first time in what felt like forever, my life felt complete. My work gave me purpose and Megan gave me hope. After the shaky start our first date had taken, things got considerably better. After I had opened up to her and shared my past with her, I felt a wall come down between us that I hadn’t even known was there. My mind was at peace, and I started to envision a future that included Megan.
It was all happening very fast; my emotions were speeding ahead of me, but I just couldn’t help it. Megan calmed me down and excited me all in the same breath. Everything was more enjoyable now because I knew I could share it with her.
Which was not to say that I didn’t have my set of worries. I worried all the time that my job would take its toll on our relationship. We were only a couple of weeks in, and I hadn’t seen able to schedule a second date with her yet.
We still spoke all the time, and she told me she understood. But it was still early into things, and I knew from experience that patience was not something that lasted indefinitely. I was arranging the equipment when the emergency alert went off.
“We’re up!” Kendrick yelled as he jumped into action.
Immediately, my mind jumped into firefighter mode, and everything else dropped out of my head. My only priority now was getting to where we needed to as fast as possible and handling the situation as quickly as possible. Engine twenty was ready for us, and Ryan, Mel, and Kendrick helped me load up the truck. Within six minutes, we were suited up and en route.
“What are we dealing with?” I asked Mel.
