AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Even from halfway across the room like this, I could see a huge diamond ring on Lily’s ring finger, along with another smaller band.
“She’s certainly very friendly,” I said. “At least to him.”
I had thought that the weekends might be hard, that having two whole days where I didn’t have anything to do would get boring or lonely—that my mother would be right after all—but so far, that hadn’t proven true. I knew that in part, it had to do with the fact that it was June, usually one of the nicest times of year in New England, and that I might be feeling very different if it was say, the middle of January and 10 degrees outside. But on Saturday morning, I slept in, woke up to the sound of cardinals outside my window, got up slowly, and made some coffee.
I took it outside to the backyard, which was another thing I really liked about this house. There was a generous-sized deck with teak patio furniture, and then beyond that, two Adirondack chairs amidst the grass, facing a dense pine forest. It was easy to imagine those woods going on forever; during the height of the day, the sun barely dappled the ground. I sat with my coffee and a book, and I read several chapters while I thought about just what it was that I might like to do for the rest of the day.
I didn’t come up with any concrete plans, but that was all right, because when I went back inside, I made myself a fried egg and a piece of toast, had another cup of coffee, then cleaned the kitchen up. I started a list with a few things I’d need to get from the grocery store, and then I went and got dressed. I was about to go in and brush my teeth when I heard my phone ringing from the kitchen counter. I went and glanced down at the screen. It was my mother.
“Hi there,” I said.
“Good morning!” she chirped. “Just calling to see if you were bored out of your mind yet! Are you ready to come back to the city?”
“Ha ha,” I said. “Very funny.”
“It’s not a joke.”
“Nice to hear from you, too, Mom,” I said. “And I’ll have you know, that I’m actually still very much enjoying things up here, away from all the noise and the chaos. How is everything with you?”
“It’s fine,” she replied breezily. “Bill says hi.”
My stomach clenched at the sound of his name. My stepfather was movie star handsome, a successful investment banker, and very charismatic, the sort of person that most people wanted to be around; the life of the party. Up until I’d hit puberty, I really liked him, too—but once I started growing breasts, things had changed. At first, I had been flattered. He was paying more attention to me, looking at me in a way that I hadn’t remembered him looking at me before. Of course, this never happened when my mother was around, and I started to think of it as a little secret that Bill and I had between us. A little benign secret, that would never go past a look across the room, or his hand brushing my arm, his fingertips resting there for a second longer than they might have before.
The benign-ness of it all changed when I turned 15, though.
I didn’t like to think about it.
“That’s nice,” I said, my voice tight.
“I’ll tell him you said hello. We were thinking of maybe driving up there to see you at some point.”
“You were just up here,” I said. “I mean, not that I don’t want to see you, but it’s a drive and everything, and I’m sure that you guys are probably pretty busy.”
“Well, of course we are, but that doesn’t mean that we wouldn’t be able to set aside some time to come up there. I’m sure you’re probably getting bored. Hey, how’s it been going with that neighbor of yours? I suppose you couldn’t get that bored, living next to someone like him.”
I decided not to mention that he had been my doctor; she would want every single last detail and then probably call and make an appointment with him for herself.
“He’s nice,” I finally said. “But I’ve been pretty busy with work and stuff. That’s going well, in case you were interested.”
“Oh, I’m glad to hear it,” my mother said, though I could hear the distraction in her voice. She had never been able to understand why I’d gone to school and gotten a degree in early childhood education; didn’t I want to do something a little more... meaningful with my life? Yes, she really did ask me that. Of course, she was someone who equated meaning with money. She was right that there certainly wasn’t a lot of money in early childhood education, but I was getting paid decently enough at the Learning Center, and getting to be around 3- and 4-year-olds all day as opposed to adults like her was far better in my book, anyway.
“Bill just got back from his run,” my mom said. “I’m going to put him on to say hi.”
He must’ve been standing right there, because before I even had a chance to say anything, I heard his deep voice.
“Allie,” he said. “How is it going up there?”
I felt frozen, like a deer trapped in the headlights, while at the same time a wave of nausea roiled through me. I gripped the phone so tight my knuckles turned white.
“Things are fine,” I managed to say, trying to keep my voice sounding as normal as possible. Since that night almost 10 years ago, I had had as little to do with him as possible, yet I did not want him to know how traumatized I still felt by it. I had a feel
ing he would sense it as a weakness, and that would incentivize him, like some sort of predator going in for the kill.
“Did your mother mention that we’d like to come up there for a visit? I know she’s already been up there once, but I wouldn’t mind seeing the place for myself. Maybe this summer.”
“I’m pretty busy,” I said. “In fact, I’ve got to run—will you tell Mom I’ll talk to her later? Thanks, bye!”
I ended the call before he could say anything and put the phone back down on the counter, my palms clammy, my heart racing, and not in a good way.
