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There was another one when I got back to my apartment. I picked it up and opened it immediately before I went inside. Same blue ink, same handwriting.
I missed you at the picnic today... Maybe tomorrow?
Maybe tomorrow... He sure was optimistic for a person who had no right to be. I shook my head, letting myself into my apartment. It was not happening tomorrow. Not the day after that, either.
Chapter Thirteen
Roman
At
least it's nice out, I thought, opening the basket and sliding the uneaten food into it. I was hungry, but stopped myself. What if she showed up? Yeah, it was already two in the afternoon but what if the minute I packed up and left, she showed up and found nobody here?
Watch it, Roman, you're starting to sound desperate.
I had waited about the same amount of time each day. Two hours felt like plenty of time to let her get from wherever she was to here. I knew where she lived, it wasn't that much of a trip.
Being bitter about it was easy. I was the one who had left, but she had been the one who had been left. I didn't like to use the word dumped, but yeah, I had dumped her and then disappeared for a year. She needed time. She deserved time. I couldn't fault her for not being ready. I hadn't given her a reason to ever think I was even coming back, let alone wanted to be with her again.
The only reason you're like this is your fault, I thought. You want that girl back now, you gotta wait for her. You did shit on your terms without asking her before and now she's in the driver’s seat, all you can do is be ready when she is.
I was ready. More than that. Every day that passed was another I wasn't spending with her. How much fucking better was everything when we had been together? How much more fun was everything, how much happier was I? Her, too.
I wanted that back, and I was getting it. She needed to know that, but I wasn't doing anything hanging out here when it was clear at least for today that she wasn't going to show. There was tomorrow, and the day after that, too. As many days after those that it would end up taking.
I got up and shook the blanket out, folding it up so it could fit in the basket with the food. I also pulled one of the sandwiches I had bought for us out and ate it. Sundried tomato, Swiss cheese, and pickle; it sounded gross, but was actually great. Ron's favorite, she'd always get them at the deli I had passed coming here. I had gotten it because she liked them, though; it wasn't fun eating her favorite foods without her. It just made me think about her and how we weren't together.
My phone rang in my pocket as I backed out of my parking spot, getting ready to leave the park. I pulled it out hoping it was Ron, but knowing better than to think I'd get that lucky. I wasn't even sure she still had the same number. I'd probably ask Tiff for it, she'd give it to me. Don was calling me. I picked up, putting him on speaker so I could keep driving.
"Rome?"
"What's up?" I asked him.
"Where are you right now?"
"Headed home. Why?"
"Busy tonight?"
"Nope. You got something in mind?" I asked, grateful to hear from him. Company didn't sound too bad to me right now, especially after being blown off by Ron again.
"Drinks," he said, “just the two of us.” Sounded good; I could do with something stiff…several of them. I told him I'd be there.
"Awesome," he said. "Maybe we could even get you a date. I was serious about what I said last time we talked."
"Thanks," I said, not wasting my time telling him that I didn't want a girl who wasn't the 5'6, blonde Psych major who was ignoring me.
"Are you okay, man?" he asked.
"It's all good. Why?"
"Last time we talked, you sounded like you've got a lot on your mind. Playing ball, your ex," he said. We weren't exes, it was just complicated right now. There wasn't a name for what we were at the moment, but exes definitely wasn’t it.
"Bump in the road. No big deal. I'll see you tonight," I said. He hung up a little reluctantly. He was a good friend. We could talk about it, but I didn't know how to say it in a way that made sense to him. Women weren't people to be kept around, in his mind. He had them on rotation, changing them over as often as possible and never keeping one around long enough to get to know who she was.
He could do whatever he wanted with his life, I wasn't judging. I just couldn't say I saw eye-to-eye with him on that. He wasn't really wrong when he said there were other fish in the sea, I knew there were. But I wanted Ron. I didn't care about having anyone else.
Since we weren't getting together till later, I figured I'd go to the gym. I had been lifting since I was fifteen for football, but I had lost some mass since being deployed. I had always played at 230 lbs, but was down to 208 lbs. That extra muscle paid off. I wasn't saying no to blowing off some steam, either.
