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“Yeah, uh, yeah. I guess I've also got things to do.” He forced a tense smile. “I'll go pay for dinner. Hope you enjoyed it.”
“I did. It was absolutely delicious. I'll have to come back here sometime.”
Emerson stood and walked over to the counter. I watched him from behind, and it definitely seemed as if the wind had been taken out of his sails somewhat. A pang guilt
rushed over me. Things had started to move too quickly, too suddenly, for me to keep them in check. I wasn't ready for it. Someone had to put the brakes on somehow. If that person had to be me, then it just had to. Anything, to avoid having my soul crushed again. Anything.
I watched as Emerson strode back to the table. He carried himself with such confidence, but the expression on his face didn’t match. I could only speculate why.
“Alright, it's all taken care of. Ready to head out?”
“Yeah. Thanks again for the lovely dinner, Emerson.”
“My pleasure. Maybe we can do it again sometime.”
“Maybe,” I replied cooly. Then it hit me, I had to ride back to the apartment pressed against his back with my arms wrapped tightly around him. Cool was about to go out the window.
Chapter Sixteen
Emerson
Having Brooke hold onto me from the back of the bike was nice, but nothing like the ride to the restaurant. Her arms were around me, but it felt as if she wasn't really there. The fire that had burned when I had been spinning that story for Ben and the glow in her eyes when we connected had been undeniable. The way she looked at me when she realized what I’d done for her had ignited more than just a fire in me. It stirred something I couldn’t put a label on. I'd felt great, and it had looked like she felt it, too. The way she had opened up to me, out of nowhere, about the situation with her ex said something. Surely, it meant she felt something for me.
But then, she simply shut down again. The walls shot back up in record time just when it seemed I was about to make a breakthrough.
It was frustrating. Although, after hearing what that Andrew jerk had done to her, I kind of understood. She’d never said how long it had been since it happened. I could only wonder how fresh the wounds were. Having your heart broken in such a horrific way would certainly cut deep and leave scars that could take a while to heal. I could see why she might be hesitant to trust a guy like me. I hadn't made the best impression early on, with the partying, the drinking, and having Melissa hanging around.
It stung a little to think that she might not trust me, that she might question the kind of person I was, especially considering it was my own fault. So, yeah, it stung, but it was understandable. It also made me realize I needed to make some real changes in my life. I'd already committed to the promise I'd made to myself to work hard at school all year, but Brooke made me see it was time to make other changes—major changes. Changes I’d known all along I needed to make but hadn’t had the right motivation to follow through on. There was no doubt I could do it, I’d just needed a bit of incentive, and Brooke had just given it to me. Now, it was up to me to correct those early impressions Brooke had of me, to prove to her that I wasn't the guy she likely suspected I might be.
We pulled up to our apartment building, and I maneuvered the bike into its parking spot. I killed the engine, hopped off, and then helped Brooke off the back. I had to admit, just taking her hand to help her off the back sent a thrill racing through my veins.
“Thanks again for dinner and for the ride and for…” She paused before looking up at me. “And thank you for having my back with Ben,” she voiced, still holding the helmet in her hands.
Apparently, our stares held a fraction too long and she quickly averted her eyes and began trying to strap the helmet to the bike. I stepped in to help.
“Dinner really was lovely,” she repeated.
“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. Thank you for going with me. I had fun.”
We stood for a few moments, both feeling awkward and not quite knowing what else to say.
“Well, uh,” she suddenly stammered, “I, uh, I gotta get busy with that studying. So, I guess I'll see you around.”
“Sure,” I replied, disappointed the evening was already over. “See ya later.”
She hurried off into the apartment building while I proceeded to lock up my bike. I really wished we could have spent more of the evening together. It was the perfect kind of night for breaking down walls. The sky was clear; the first stars were just starting to sparkle against the dark background. The air was warm with a slight breeze rustling through the trees. It was a beautiful evening. But it was an evening I’d be spending alone, and I simply had to accept that.
I walked up to the apartment, and as soon as I got to my floor, I could hear that Chris was jamming on his new sound system—the bass was thumping all the way down the hall. Suddenly spending the evening truly alone sounded better and better. Remembering how Brooke had said the sound went right through into her apartment, I hurried to unlock our door.
“E-dawg!” Chris shouted over the noise as I walked in. “Welcome back to the man-cave! Grab a beer and let's get this Friday night started the right way!”
“Dude, turn the tunes down a bit,” I insisted as I stepped in and closed the door behind me.
“What?”
“I SAID, TURN THE MUSIC DOWN, BRO! IT'S TOO LOUD!”
Chris frowned and shook his head, but he turned it down. “That better, grandpa?” he said with a smirk.
