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“Yes, you are. You’re upset because he can afford better things than you.”
I groaned. “This isn’t about jealousy. Joe and his wife can buy better things than me, but they don’t pretend to be anything other than they are. They aren’t frauds.”
She let out a long sigh. “Joe and his wife also have no responsibility for Kadie.”
“What are saying, Mama?”
“I’m saying you’re worried that you can’t provide for Kadie as good as Alex can.”
I shot out of the bed, crossing my arms and glaring down at my mama. “What are you getting at?”
She held up a hand and shook her head. “Not saying I agree. I’m saying that’s what has got you twisted around in your scared little mind. He comes back, and he’s rich, and on some level, you think you’ve failed or something.”
“I …” I shook my head. My pulse pounded in my ears. I didn’t want to listen to her.
“Your father, God rest his soul, gave his life for his country when you were young,” Mama said quietly. “I had to support you all my own. Every single mother goes through what you’re going through, Aspyn. We all wonder if we’re doing enough, if we’re hurting our beloved children by not providing enough.”
I uncrossed my arms and sat down on edge of the bed with a sigh. “But what if I did screw up, Mama? Even if I thought he was ghosting me, I could have kept trying. Could have pressed Carl.” I let out a nervous laugh. “I did the opposite. I made Carl promise not to tell Alex about Kadie.”
“I know, Aspyn. I know.”
“Maybe I’ve been selfish. Maybe I’ve sacrificed good things for my daughter because I felt bad about something that was partially my fault.”
Mama reached over and cupped my cheek. “Oh, don’t think that way, honey. You’ve been doing great on your own. You’re renting a nice house, and you have a nice, stable job with good folks, your friends. Your daughter goes to sleep at night with food in her belly, and she’s loved. That’s all any child really needs.” She dropped her hand. “You have to know you’ve done a great job with my granddaughter.”
I sniffled, and tears welled up in my eyes
. “You don’t think I’m a bad mom?”
“Of course I don’t think you’re a bad mom. You’re just stubborn. That’s my blood in you.” She grinned. “It can be a good thing sometimes, but this time, not so much. There’s also no shame in accepting help, freely offered, and it’s not like a father shouldn’t provide for his child.”
“You know I was kind of jealous when I first drove up and saw he bought the McMillian’s place.” I wiped my tears with my sleeve. “I’ve always loved the house. At least the outside, but then Alex rolls into town and snatches it up, puts all his fancy stuff in it.”
Mama laughed. “Why do you think he even bought that house?”
I shrugged. “So he could live close to Carl and prove he was going to stay.”
“He could have stayed in that little tiny guest house of Carl’s then or even bought it. Come on, honey, he bought a big house for a family. It’s pretty obvious he bought it not just for Kadie but for you. He wants to share his life with you, but he’s got his demons. You know that, and he’s fighting through them. So he’s doing the only thing he knows how to do as a man, show you that he can provide.” Mama’s expression turned stern. “Are you really gonna punish a man for showing you he can provide? Yeah, it would be nice if he could be all sensitive and know all your feelings, but God made men and women different so they could both help each other out.”
I closed my eyes and dropped my head into my hands. “Perri’s right.”
“Why? What did she say?”
“She said I was being stupid.”
Mama chortled. “Yeah, you have been being stupid.” I groaned, and she patted me on the head. “But all the best women do stupid things. It’s not the past that matters. It’s the future.”
“What if it’s too late?” I said quietly.
“Too late? You think a man comes back to town years later, buys a house, buys land, does everything he can to impress a woman like you and is ready to walk away because of a fight or two? He might have been gone for a while, but Alex Kline still knows you, Aspyn. It’s not too late.”
“Then, what do I do?”
“Make it right, honey. Make it right.”
“How?”
Mama smiled softly. “Oh, I think you know.”
