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“You were upset about the cancer,” Olivia said, picking at her sandwich. She glanced over at me. “I imagine it must have brought back memories.”
“It did,” I admitted. “But I shouldn't have taken them out on you. That wasn't fair, and especially not when I really did know that you were trying your best. Jeannie was just very stubborn.”
I wasn't sure that it was the right thing to say, but Olivia managed a small smile. “She was,” she agreed. “I take after her in that, you know.”
“I'd noticed,” I told her dryly. “But fortunately, your persistence is a lot more endearing than Georgia's.”
We were both quiet for a moment. “I want to start again,” I told her, surprising even myself with the raw note in my voice. “I promise that I'll trust you. But I don't want to pressure you to make decisions just to suit me. Just because I think that we're right for one another.”
Olivia stared at me, looking shocked. “You think we're right for each other?” she asked.
I nodded gravely. It was my turn to look away from her. “To be honest, I never wanted something casual with you; I was always interested in something more. I was just scared. When you said that thing about not putting labels on it, I was quick to agree because I thought that was the only way that I was going to continue to have you in my life. But it wasn't what I wanted.”
I gave a short laugh. “And when I thought that you were sleeping with Buck, trust me, I was kicking myself at not having asked for more. It felt horrible. The only thing that kept me from punching him was the knowledge that you definitely wouldn't appreciate that, whatever the situation was. Probably wouldn't have looked too good around the town, either.” I gave a rueful smile, but Olivia didn't return it, seemingly lost in her thoughts.
“What's changed?” Olivia asked suddenly. “I understand that Buck told you the truth at the funeral, but that wasn't the only thing standing between us. You practically avoided me after we slept together. Are you just interest
ed in pursuing a relationship now because you know that I'm pregnant? Because if so, I'm afraid that this won't work.”
I appreciated how frank she was being, and I tried to find a way to describe that change of heart so that she might understand it. “I think both of them, my wife and your mother, would have wanted this,” I added. “Emily always just wanted me to be happy. I've mourned her for long enough, but it's not doing Emma or I any favors, my holding the world at arm's length.”
Olivia nodded slowly. “My mother would have wanted it too,” she said softly. “She gave me this whole spiel about how she was sure that I would make a great single parent, and about how well things had turned out for her and me, despite my dad never being in the picture. But deep down, I think that she would have wanted us to be together. To raise this daughter together.”
I frowned at her. “You're sure it's a daughter?” I asked.
“I don't have proof yet,” Olivia said, looking startled. She shrugged. “It's just easier to think of it as a 'she,' rather than an 'it.' And I'll be perfectly happy to have a boy, too. I don't know, it just feels right, calling it my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” I said, and Olivia smiled at me. “I want to be in her life, whether you and I end up together or not,” I told her seriously. “And I don't just mean that I'll pay for diapers and child support.”
Olivia nodded. “I want you to be in the child's life, if you want to be,” she whispered.
“And I promise to try to be more respectful of your decisions,” I continued, unable to leave things at such a vague conclusion. I grimaced. “I have a bad habit of thinking, as a doctor, that I know what's best for people, all the time,” I admitted.
“I'd noticed that about you,” Olivia said, echoing my earlier words.
I smiled at her. “I promise to be better this time,” I said softly. “Whether that means that we're just friends or something more. But that's the last thing that I'm going to say. I'll let you think things over.”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Olivia
It was hard not to be moved by all the nice things that Eric was saying. I had to admit that I was still a little worried about where things would lead. It sounded like he wanted to be involved with the baby, as well as with me, and I had to take that at face value, especially when he'd taken me on such a wonderful, relaxing weekend retreat.
The place was gorgeous, and after a week of horrible, crushing sadness, I was starting to finally come to terms with Mom's passing. That didn't mean that I was feeling 100% okay again or that I was ready to jump into things with Eric, but I was seriously considering everything that he had promised.
The thing was, deep down, I knew that Eric was a good guy. I could tell that he cared about me. And I still couldn't deny that I loved him. We might have had our disagreements, but he had still been there for me when I needed him, and I could trust in that if nothing else.
And ever since he had come over the previous day, I hadn't been able to stop picturing starting this family with him. I could picture Eric by my side during the pregnancy, and Emma playing dress up with her future sister. I could picture holidays together, and birthdays. I could even picture visiting Mom's grave with Eric by my side, lending silent support, just like I would when he wanted to visit Emily's grave.
What's more, I was surprised at how easy it was to picture all of that. Like he had said today, it felt like we were right for one another.
As I'd told him, I was pretty sure this was what Mom would have wanted, too. I didn't want to make the decision just because Mom had tried matchmaking the two of us, but that had some weight on my decision as well. Mom wouldn't have gone on and on about what a looker he was if she hadn't thought that he was a good guy as well, and her opinion meant a lot to me.
I was afraid to rush into anything, but at the same time, this didn't exactly feel like we were rushing into anything. Maybe we had at first, but now we'd taken some time apart. I still didn't know all the details about his life, but I knew the important ones, and he knew important things about me. What's more, I knew that we understood one another, with that shared experience of losing loved ones to cancer.
As we walked back to the bed and breakfast, I slipped my hand into his. Eric smiled down at me but didn't comment.
“I didn't schedule anything for the afternoon,” Eric informed me as we neared my room. “I figured that you might want to try to take a nap, once you were good and relaxed. But if not, you could relax in the hot tub or the sauna for a little while. Or I'm sure we could talk to the front desk and see if they could book you for another massage.”
