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She’s still just as wonderful.
Stop.
I pull myself from my reverie and I think about her.
Really think about her.
She’s not the woman I loved. I have to remind myself. That woman, the woman who made me laugh until my sides ached, she’s gone. That woman wasn’t ready. That woman wasn’t prepared for me. She didn’t want me. Not really. Not when she knew the real me. The woman I loved, all those years ago, is not the same woman I saw this morning standing behind the counter. The woman with the drop of flour on her nose isn’t the same girl I used to stay up all night talking with.
They are two very different people, and I would do well to remember that.
I try to remind myself that she was the one who left me. I proposed to her and she said she wasn’t ready yet. Oh, she pretended there was a deeper reason. Some philosophical reason, I know, that she couldn’t be with me, but I know the truth.
I knew it then and I knew it now.
She wanted someone else.
There must have been someone else.
Either that, or she didn’t like dragons, but Nicole was such an open-minded person back then. I didn’t think she was so shallow that she couldn’t accept me for being a shifter. Not when I didn’t tell her until that day. It wasn’t until I confessed that she was my mate, that I knew we were destined to be together, that she became scared. I asked her to marry me and like the naïve, 19-year-old kid that I was, I thought she’d definitely say yes. I thought there was no way she could turn down my wonderful offer of marriage, or of living with my clan, or of exploring the world together.
I would have given Nicole anything she wanted, but she didn’t want me.
She said no.
And we walked away.
And now we’re here.
Ten years later and I’m sneaking down the road like some sort of teenage comic book villain, trying not to be seen until the time is right. Despite the way I still hurt after all of this time, I can’t let Reece do anything stupid. Not when emotions are running high around the clan these days. We’re all tired. We’re all stressed. We all need some sort of reprieve.
We all need something that makes us feel a little less alone.
We all need some safety.
Nicole?
Nicole isn’t safe.
She never has been.
She’s always been wild.
Vibrant.
Beautiful.
She’s like the colors of the rainbow all mixed together: swirled in a beautiful, chaotic piece of art.
And I miss her.
I shouldn’t miss her, or her smile, or the way she made me laugh. I shouldn’t have been filled with so many different emotions today when I saw her standing behind the counter. My heart shouldn’t have soared when I saw her eyes light up, only for a moment, when she saw me. None of those feelings are productive, I remind myself.
Reece disappears from my sight and I scurry around the side of a building and up behind the bakery, as I make my way around the little building, I approach the bakery quietly and cautiously.
He’s arrived and he’s made his presence to Nicole known.
Dammit, Reece.
