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“I’m scared,” Jace says plainly. He laughs when he sees my face. “Surprised at my honesty?”
“I’m surprised you had the balls to say that, yeah, but I’m also surprised that you’re scared. What is it you’re afraid of?”
“I’ve never had a kid,” he says.
“So? There’s a first time for everything, right?”
“I don’t know the first thing about being a dad,” he tells me. “I mean, I couldn’t even take care of Alexis. I couldn’t protect her. How am I supposed to protect this little guy? Just look at him,” he gestures to Brandon. “He’s so small.”
I look at the baby and nod.
“You’re right,” I say. “He is small.”
Jace seems to deflate.
“Which is why it’s a good thing his dad is so big and strong and gentle,” I tell him. “Jace, nobody knows what they’re doing. Not when they first start.”
“Alexis would have known.”
“Alexis was a very special person,” I agree.
“Did she...I mean...” He pauses, and then looks at me. “Was she ever scared?”
“What do you mean?”
“Of this,” he gestures to the baby, to the room, to everything. “Of being a mom or making mistakes or just...just royally messing up?”
“Of course,” I tell him honestly. “We talked about it a lot, actually.”
“And?”
“And I told her that I might not be a pediatrician, but I see my fair share of parents,” I tell him honestly. “And every single one of the good parents I meet is a worrier, at least a little.”
“I don’t know why, but that makes me feel a little better,” he tells me.
“It should,” I tell him. I move to him and place my hand on his arm. “Jace, being a parent is scary as shit, okay?”
He laughs, throwing his head back.
“What?”
“I didn’t know you had it in you,” he tells me.
“What?”
“Cussing like a shifter,” he shakes his head with a giggle. “I’ll be damned.”
“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with expressing myself.”
“Not at all, darling,” he says. “Besides, I think you expressed yourself pretty wonderfully last night,” he says. “Don’t you?”
He shoots me a look then, and this time, it sends heat all over my body. My entire being feels alert and hot and on fucking fire.
Yeah.
I guess you could say that.
Last night was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. To be honest, I don’t know if it’s something I’ll ever be able to experience again. Not like that. There was just this incredible chemistry between the two of us that made everything feel like it was totally perfect. It’s been an eternity since I had a partner who made me feel the way Jace made me feel.
