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Emilia sees through my bullshit, but she doesn’t call me out. Thankfully, she just shakes her head, although I’m not sure if her disappointment is better.
“Whatever,” she finally mutters, and I’m grateful when she and Karen start talking about upcoming end-of-the-semester exams. We have a bunch of tests next week before we go on Christmas break. I can’t decide whether I’m dreading the tests or the holiday break more. The tests are going to be difficult, and I have to get straight A’s on them.
That’s another one of Frank’s rules, although after 15 years of this stuff, I’m starting to feel like I’m drowning.
At least it’ll all be over soon.
At least I’ll graduate in May and be done with school and the pressure and the insanity.
Only, that’s not exactly true.
Something tells me that none of this is going to be over as quickly as I want it to be, and something tells me that I’m not exactly going to get to pursue my dream of going to college.
Frank has chosen me as a wife for Harrison. We all know it. We all know that Frank has a plan for how this thing is going to work. He’s spent our entire lives making it very clear that Harrison is going to take over the family business after university and that I’m supposed to be Harrison’s perfect little trophy wife.
I hate this.
I hate knowing that Frank has this perfect plan for what he wants from me.
But I have a secret, and it’s something that makes me sick. It’s something that haunts me and that keeps me up at night.
“Earth to Adalee,” Karen says. I look over sharply and see both her and Emilia staring at me.
“Sorry,” I start to say, but Emilia interrupts before I can say anything else.
“What is with you?” She snaps. “You’ve been weird all week, Adalee. You keep spacing out and you aren’t listening. I mean, are we that boring? Or is there something else you need to tell us?” She raises an eyebrow, as though that’s how she’s going to convince me to share my innermost secrets with her.
Sadly, it won’t work.
I’m really, really good at keeping secrets.
Karen looks a little more concerned. She looks over at Harrison, who is laughing and talking with Dana Peters. Then Karen looks back at me.
“Is it him?” She asks, whispering.
“No,” I lie. “It’s not him. I’m sorry, ya’ll. I just...I’m just going through something. I’m sorry.”
I grab my tray and scurry away from the table. Emilia opens her mouth to say something, but Karen places her hand on Emilia’s and shakes her head.
“Let her go,” I hear her say, and for once, I’m grateful to be ignored. It’s just for a little while. Soon I’m going to be completely not ignored, and soon I’m never going to get to have privacy again.
I dump my food, leave my plate and tray on top of one of the trash bins, and push the doors open to the cafeteria. Then I start walking quickly down the hallway. Tears threaten to overtake me, but I can’t do it. I can’t cry. Not here.
Not now.
Not over stupid H
arrison.
I hate the way he looks at Dana Peters. We all know he wants to be with her, and if I had to guess, they’re definitely sleeping together. The only reason he doesn’t openly date her is because of his dad. We both know that Frank would have a fit if he knew Harrison was dating someone else. We also both know that Harrison thinks of me as an ugly, nerdy, stupid little sister.
He’s never been attracted to me in his life.
So why do I want him to be?
I need to get back to my dorm room. I need to get back and drink some water and look over my books for my next class. If I can do that, then everything will be okay. If I can focus on studying for the next test, I’ll be fine. That’s what I need right now. I need to focus.
Only, I’m focusing a little too much, because someone steps in front of me in the hallway and I almost run right into them. Luckily, I stop just in time and look up.
