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Yes.
Yes.
In so many ways, yes.
I can’t even express it in words, but maybe that’s the problem. I know I’m not just some dumb military grunt, but I’ve hidden behind that mask for a very long time. Maybe I need to stop. Maybe it’s time to stop making excuses and start living.
Zack has a unique perspective on life being short because his wife was widowed. Her first husband died much too young and she was lost and alone when he met her. He wasn’t particularly experienced in BDSM or in being a Dom, but she brought out his protective nature and they fell into this beautiful relationship.
All of the men surrounding me now have been where I am, I realize, and they all got the girl.
Maybe I can, too.
Maybe it’s time to stop doubting myself, to stop being afraid, and to just admit that I need help.
Maybe it’s time to be honest.
“I love her,” I say, and Zack pats me on the shoulder.
“Welcome to the club, brother.”
“What club is that?”
“The ‘Doms Who Aren’t Good at Relationships’ club,” Ryder chuckles.
“No offense, but you all seem to have perfect relationships,” I point out.
They all laugh.
“You’ve got a lot to learn, man, but we’re going to help you,” Tony says. “We love Odessa. She’s a peach, but she’s been through a lot, Jasper.”
“I know she has. That’s why I haven’t pursued anything,” I run my hands through my hair. “I don’t want to be another guy that hurts her. She deserves better.”
“Then don’t hurt her,” Tony says, as if it’s the most simple thing in the world.
“It’s a little late for that,” I tell them. “I fucked up.”
“Why don’t you tell us exactly what happened?” Ryder says.
“We slept together,” I tell them. “And the next day, I was sent off on a mission.”
“That’s right,” Zack snaps his fingers. “Military.”
“Army,” I confirm. “And because of my classified position, sometimes I’m sent off on a moment’s notice.”
“Don’t tell me you didn’t tell her you were leaving,” Ryder says.
“I couldn’t tell her how long I was going to be gone for or where I was going or what I’d be doing, so I just didn’t say anything. Plus, and I realize this isn’t an excuse, but I thought it was just a one-off thing.”
“You didn’t want her to think you were being clingy,” Zack says. “I get it.”
“Odessa is tender-hearted,” Tony nods. “But she’s stronger than you think, Jasper. You need to talk to her.”
“And soon,” Ryder says. “Before it’s too late, Jasper.”
They’re right, I realize, and I don’t want to wait another minute to talk to her. I can go see her at school or figure out where she’s working now. She quit the daycare. I know that much. Hell, I could even stop by her house. Bring her flowers or something. There are so many options running through my head and then I realize that I don’t have to utilize any of them because when I turn toward the front of the club, I see her.
“Speak of the devil,” Zack lets out a low whistle, and I don’t bother saying anything more to the men. I just go to her.
