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“It sounds lonely.”
“It is, sometimes.”
He pulls me close again, wrapping his arms around me. I try not to breathe him in. I try not to accept the way he smells. I try not to think of how fucking good it feels to be wrapped in his embrace, but it does. It feels good, and I feel tiny and small and protected.
“Sometimes I have to go away,” Jasper says. “The day after we were together, I was scheduled to go away. I was gone for a couple of months.”
It all makes sense.
That’s why he stopped coming to the club.
It wasn’t that he was avoiding me: he just wasn’t here.
“You couldn’t have told me you were leaving?”
“I thought about it,” he says, and that hurts.
It hurts to know he could have let me know he was going away, but that he didn’t.
“But I couldn’t reach out and contact you while I was gone. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going or how long I’d be gone for. Some of it I just didn’t know. Some of it I couldn’t share. I thought we were just a one night thing, Odessa. I thought you didn’t want anything serious, and I was worried that if I told you how much I cared and that I was going away, you’d think I was being clingy. Deployments are never easy. Leaving is never easy.”
“Being in a relationship is never easy,” I finish. “You’re right. We should have talked about it. I figured you thought it was a one night thing, too, Jasper. We should have communicated better before we jumped into bed together.”
“I’m sad you thought I didn’t want you,” he says. “It tears me up.”
“What was I supposed to think? I didn’t know you were in the Army.”
“You jumped to the logical conclusion,” he says, “but I don’t want you to ever doubt yourself again, Odessa. You’re beautiful and funny. Smart. Sassy. You’re everything I want in a woman and more. You’re incredible and you deserve to be treated like you’re incredible.”
“And what about you?” I ask.
“I’m not a very good person. I’m not very brave or smart. I make dumb choices. I hurt the woman I care about.”
“What if she forgives you?” My voice is a whisper. The water is splashing against the side of the ship. The sound drowns out the beat of my heart. My heart, which feels like it’s about to explode, has never been so loud before.
“What are you saying?” He asks.
“I’ve been hurt before. I had a regular Dom for a long time and then we were in a relationship,” I tell him. “We cared deeply about each other. Nothing terribly serious happened. It just wasn’t a good match, but losing him hurt. I didn’t just lose a partner or a Dom. I lost a friend. I don’t want to feel that pain again, Jasper, and I’m scared. I’m scared that we’re going to try and you’re going to hurt me.”
“Odessa,” he whispers, but then he just kisses me.
Chapter 6
Jasper
Kissing Odessa is like seeing a rainbow after a week of rain. It’s like honey. It’s like magic. It’s perfection. I shouldn’t be kissing her yet. Not before we’ve figured everything out, but right now, it’s kind of nice to just be a little bit wild.
I’ve been scared for a long time about messing things up with her, about winning her over, but right now, I just want to let go of those thoughts and to feel.
So that’s what I do.
The sweet little submissive is wearing a bright blue corset with a tutu bottom, and it’s both adorable and sexy as fuck. How does she take something so simple and make it look so fucking irresistible? Any other submissive at Anchored could wear the same outfit and not look half as delicious as Odessa does in this moment. As I kiss her, I reach down and run my fingers over the fishnets that cover her thighs.
Odessa lets out a little moan that’s halfway between a mew and a sigh. I’ll take it. I’ll take anything from her.
“You’re beautiful, princess,” I whisper, deepening the kiss.
“So are you,” she says, pulling away for just a moment.
