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“Why did my father borrow money from you?” My words hang in the air, though, and Forwal doesn’t answer me right away. This makes me think that when he does answer me, his words are going to cut me to my core. This makes me think that whatever business my father has gotten himself wrapped up in, it’s nothing good.
It’s nothing proper.
“Someone saw something they weren’t supposed to see,” he says slowly, carefully. “Someone discover some…information…about your father and they threatened him. He needed to pay them for their silence, but he didn’t have the money.”
“So he came to you,” I say.
“He came to me,” Forwal agrees.
“What did they see?” I ask the question even though I know Forwal won’t tell me. If he wanted me to know my father’s sins, he would have already shared them. I’ve been with him long enough to know when I should remain silent, but my curiosity has bested me tonight.
“We all have our secrets, Evelyn,” is all he says. “Now go to sleep.” Forwal wraps me up in his arms and closes his eyes. He does this every night and I’m not sure whether it’s to keep me safe or to keep me from running away, but I close my eyes, too, and sleep comes to me.
When I wake, he’s already gone for the day. I clean my face and change into a dress. He’s provided many for me. Forwal has been nothing if not considerate of my needs. Before I can even anticipate what I might want or have need of, he seems to have it covered.
Mrs. Paughts is in the kitchen baking bread when I prance into the room. I look around, but there are no other servants. She seems to be doing everything by herself today.
“Good morning, child,” she says. She always calls me child, although I am quite obviously a woman. An adult. Only, there’s a part of me that doesn’t feel that way anymore. Forwal has made it very clear what I am.
His.
“Good morning, Mrs. Paughts. Need a hand?”
“Always. Here,” she hands me a rolling pin and directs me toward some dough. “Get to work,” she says, and I do. Luckily, when I was growing up, I cooked for my father. I may not have had a mama, but I had Papa, and he taught me everything I know about how to prepare a meal.
Mrs. Paughts and I work side-by-side for nearly an hour. By the time we’re finished with the breads, it’s mid-morning.
“Mrs. Paughts,” I say slowly. “It’s such a lovely morning. Might I go for a walk outdoors?”
She looks at me warily. “You know what the Master said,” she tells me. “You’re to stay indoors until such a time as you can be trusted not to leave.”
“Surely it’s all right for me to go now,” I tell her. “I’ve been here for awhile now, and I haven’t tried to leave. I know my place,” I say seriously. “I won’t run away.”
She hesitates for a few seconds, trying to make up her mind. I know I’m putting her in a difficult position, but I’ve been cooped up much more than any proper girl should be, and I’m anxious. I’m ready to get out and see my new world. I’m ready to explore, even if it’s only the yard.
“You have to stay close to the house,” she lowers her voice. “There are…creatures in the forest. It’s not just a story, dear. There are monsters, and they will come for you.”
“I won’t go in the woods,” I promise solemnly.
She sighs, and then nods curtly. “Only for half an hour. Then you come right back. You hear?”
“Oh, thank you!” I wrap my arms around Mrs. Paughts and she stiffens in surprise, but then relaxes. “I’ll come back. I swear it.”
I hurry out the back before she has a chance to change her mind, and as soon as the door closes behind me, I sigh in relief.
I’m alone.
Finally.
For far too long, I’ve been indoors, carefully guarded by watchful eyes, and now I’m outside.
And I’m alone.
I’m still barefoot, which I know is part of Forwal’s plan to keep me close to him. He doesn’t let me wear shoes because he thinks if my feet are protected, I’ll brave going in the forest.
He doesn’t realize that I like being here.
I like being with him.
