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So far, so good. Good, meaning I’d gotten through sound check and all without laying eyes on Alex. I could fight the urges in my pants so much easier when I didn’t actually see him. No temptation was a good thing. That didn’t mean I could resist searching for his face among the people buzzing around the place though.
I even dragged us out of there straight after our sound check. I could do stuff like that because my feelings for him were nothing. Even if I’d softened in moments of temporary insanity, I didn’t really care. That was just hormones.
It was all fine until we got back to play the actual gig. Each band had their own fancy room backstage. I could get used to that. Holden popped in to wish us luck.
“Not that you need it. You guys are going to kill it.”
“You think so?” I said. My hands were trembling and they got worse the closer it came to stage time.
“I know so.”
He sat down with me and went through some breathing exercises that helped him get ready.
“But go with it. Nerves are a natural thing. Once you get up there, it’ll all disappear.”
God, I hoped so. I couldn’t find my guitar pick. I had a heap of picks but there was one special one I wanted. Things would not go well without it. And, I swear to God, I was getting my period even though it wasn’t due for a week. I’d get on stage and bleed like a stuck pig. I wanted a pad just to be on the safe side but none of those useless guys had anything like that on hand. I told myself it was only nerves but then, stress can cause your periods to screw up.
One of the production chicks came in to see if everything was okay and I pulled her aside to see if she could sort something out.
“No worries,” she said and ran off. Minutes later, she came back and slipped me a liner.
Pete watched the whole thing.
“What was that? Are you scoring drugs? Share them around,” he said.
I opened my hand.
“Top quality panty liner here. Feel free to snort as much as you want.”
The look on his face was worth it. I laughed so much that the nerves vanished. A quick trip to the bathroom and it was time to go on.
“We can do this; we can do this…” I muttered under my breath.
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I walked out there, looked at that immense sea of people and my stomach dropped to the ground. I’d die. Then Ferdie started with the drum intro and I grabbed the mic.
The next thing I knew, it was over. We were walking off stage. I had no idea what had happened but Pete was grinning.
“We did good?”
“We did good,” he confirmed.
I could breathe again. Holding your breath through a full set was not good for you. I wanted to grin now it was over. And eat. I could eat a whole herd of horses. I’d been too nervous to eat all day but it was over and we could relax. I was looking forward to seeing Holden’s band play.
As I walked down the ramp to our room, I saw Alex standing at the side stage area. Without thinking, I smiled at him. He turned away. Ouch. That stabbed me right in the heart. Bastard.
When we got back to our room, someone had left us a whole platter of sandwiches. Man, I could scoff the lot. Pete was into the beers but Ferdie fought me for the sandwichy goodness.
“I’m going up to catch the rest of Zero’s set. You guys coming?” Pete asked.
Since the platter of sandwiches was now a platter of crumbs, Ferdie went with him.
“I’m fine. I don’t need to see that.”
Once they’d left though, the emptiness of the room made me sad. I wanted someone to share this moment with. A friend or lover. I sent a text to Sally to let her know I’d done okay but there really was no one else. They were all watching Alex.
Then Carlie came in.
