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I know it’s my father. I don’t want to talk to him. My heart aches when I replay what happened in my mind. The loop of never-ending sorrow turns my heart from warm and loving to cold and barren.
“What do you want?” My voice is raspy when I call out to him on the outside of my bedroom. I don’t need him in my life. I’ve made my decision, and I’ll become one of his soldiers. It’s the only way I’ll avenge the pain in my chest.
“It’s me.” Seth’s tone comes through the thick wood.
“Oh,” I mumble. My brows furrow in confusion. What could he want? Pulling open the door, I paint on a smile for him. “What’s wrong?”
“He can’t be dead,” he tells me, cutting to the point instead of trying to hide something from me. Of all the men here, he’s one of the only ones I trust. Perhaps it’s because we’re closer in age than the other men.
“I saw his body slump to the floor,” I whisper, my voice breaking on the last few words as they burn like poison on my tongue. My lungs struggle to work, and pulling in air becomes difficult.
“Listen, I don’t want to upset you,” Seth says. “But I don’t believe for one second Lance is dead.” His voice is low, and I know he’d get into shit if my father found him here, especially if he was caught talking about Lance to me.
My dad hasn’t hidden his dislike for my choice in a partner, but the hatred he has for Lance runs more profound than I could’ve imagined. Shaking my head, I step back, needing to sit down. I flop onto the chair at my vanity, not looking at Seth.
“I know you love him,” he continues, “and I know he’s not dead because I . . . I just know, okay?”
“What are you hiding from me?” I question, reading the expression on his face the moment he utters the words. Seth shakes his head, which only infuriates me. “I’m not a child anymore.”
“I know. And I’m not trying to hide anything from you. This isn’t my secret to tell. It’s just something you’ll have to ask Lance when we find him.”
“No, Seth, please,” I plead, needing something to hold onto. Perhaps a sliver of hope, just to allow me to breathe again. “It hurts. I can’t breathe without it hurting me,” I admit, my voice cracking with emotion.
“Lance is more to me than just a mentor,” Seth confides. “But it’s not my place to tell you. If he feels he wants to, I’ll bow out and let him.” There’s agony in his tone, and I realize he’s probably hurting as much as I am. They’ve been close for so long I’m sure if having the man you’ve looked up to for most of your life dies, or disappears, it would fuck you up.
“Okay. How do we get back there though? My father will never—”
“Tonight,” Seth interrupts me. “I know where the house is. Be ready, and I’ll take you with me.” He smiles. There’s something so familiar about him, but I can’t pinpoint it, so I shake it off. Perhaps it’s just the anxiety from the last few days getting to me.
“I’ll be ready.”
He nods, stalking away from my bedroom, leaving me alone to wonder just what we’re going to do if Seth is wrong and I’m right. I can’t lose hope, but holding on to that fruitless emotion seems to be more difficult than I can fathom right now.
Lance
She smiles.
Her beauty has captured me, and I can’t recall a time I’ve ever been so enamored with someone. There’s a small, pink flower in her hair, and she’s running through the garden. She’s seventeen, and I know even though she’s growing up, I still can’t do shit with her.
Each day that passes reminds me how far away she is. I can easily reach for her, and I know she’ll go anywhere with me. But her father will never allow us to be together. Her blue gaze turns to me, the shimmering of happiness that’s as bright as the sun is aimed at me, and I feel it right down to my cold heart.
She runs toward us, and I feel Seth’s gaze on me. He should be doing sprints, but he’s watching us. I should talk to him, tell him about the secrets I’ve been holding on to all these years, but I don’t. My focus is on the girl before me.
“Hi,” she greets us with a smile.
“Happy Birthday, Baby Girl.” I grin, leaning in to place a kiss on her cheek. Her soft gasp that tumbles free makes my zipper feel far too tight. “I hope you get all you wish for this year.”
“Me too,” she tells me breathily. Her voice is sensual, an aphrodisiac that only burns me from the inside out.
Stepping back, I allow Seth to wish her well with a friendly hug. They part, and she’s off to the house after one of the maids called her name. I watch her legs as they tease me from the hem of her dress, which flips up as she runs.
“Why don’t you just kiss her?” Seth questions from behind me, his tone lower, and I know he’s hoping Arthur doesn’t hear him. If her father were to come out here and see my lingering gaze on his daughter, he’d have me killed.
“You know the Cavalieri are my family,” I speak, not looking at Seth. There’s no denying I want her. Everyone can see it, even though I try my damnedest to hide it. “I’ll never sever that connection.” I can’t dishonor her father. He’s given me so much, but with each day that passes, the more time I spend with her, I know I’m falling. I’ve already fallen.
“Even for a babe like her?”
Spinning on my heel, I grip Seth’s shirt in my fist, holding him off the ground. “Don’t you ever speak about Giuliana like that again,” I hiss in his face, realizing my reaction was far too strong. Seth’s winning grin is evident that he can read me better than I thought.
