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“No. Not at all.” David ground his teeth. “I know I’m not bad to look at and what you or Amalia thinks about that isn’t important. Not at all. Protecting her, solving the case is what’s important. That’s why we’re having this conversation, after all.”

“Naturally.” Meg’s chair creaked as she shifted. “And you shouldn’t be jealous. Bloomenstock just has this attitude, like the war never happened.” His partner trailed off and David raised his chin to meet her haunted gaze, Will already next to her, his arm around her shoulder.

Meg hugged herself a little, stroking up and down her sleeves, not acknowledging Will but still leaning ever so slightly against his chest. “He doesn’t see lifeless eyes staring at him from a shallow grave when he’s alone.”

The three partners exchanged glances and the air thickened as much as it had with cannons and gunfire and summer heat, that terrible day. The day the four stood over Simon Truitt’s body and became something more to each other than cogs in the same machine. The day he became more, at least for a few months, than just a schlemiel with worn clothes and no trade and a lot of opinions and ideas but no way to make them happen.

Will rested his hands-on Meg’s shoulders and the three sat in silence, memories roaring back. The hill and what came after. Four people who’d never spoken a word to each other, together, under a grove of trees in the middle of Pennsylvania. In July.

Make sure someone looks after my sister. Not Ro. Thad watches Ro. Amalia.

The guilt near choked him. Thank god poor Simon never knew what his “watching” involved.

“We should look in on her.” David stretched his arms over his head.

“I can do that.” Meg hobbled to her feet. “Don’t worry. I checked very carefully for rats.”

“So did I, when I put her in there.” Another memory to haunt him. Laying her down and leaving, instead of sheltering her body with his. Because that wasn’t the best way to protect her now. And protecting her was his priority until whomever was after her was caught. Because until then, nothing else mattered.

“You know, someone should be in there with her.” Meg squinted, her mind still probably back on the field. Next to the Truitt whose wounds she hadn’t been able to heal. “I’ll grab a blanket.”

“Thanks, Meg.” He rubbed his eyes again. As if he could rub out all the twisting in his gut and force things back to the way they were. Before everything.

Meg grabbed a cold cloth, crept into Amalia’s bedroom, and shut the door behind her. He turned to Will.

“What are we going to do?” He hung his head in his hands.

It was one thing to pretend to forget her, to avoid Thad and Delaware, throw himself into work or into fantasies or only thumb the letters when he was very, very, very lonely, or very drunk, but to have all chances of any reunion with her cut off...to lose her and all hope altogether...

David rasped. He couldn’t breathe. He wrenched his tie over his head and threw it back on the couch, retreating to his position, as if holding his head could keep it on his shoulders, could keep him sane.

Will strolled over and rested a hand on David’s back. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Didn’t I?” He couldn’t look at his friend as he replayed the cab ride—and the park—in his head. He’d been a fool. A lustful, selfish fool. After all he’d done in the past. “I should’ve been helping her out of the cab, should’ve had my body blocking hers so—”

“You would’ve been stabbed in the neck and died? And what good would that do anyone? With you out of the way, whomever it was could’ve gotten to Amalia in less than a minute.” Will sat down beside him.

“I was distracted.” He kept his head down. He took advantage of whatever strain she was going through and failed her.

“By?”

He peeked at Will. His friend frowned.

“Her.” David pressed his hands to his temples again. Thad should really, rightfully blacken both his eyes, letters and touches or not.

“Ah.” Will reclined and placed a finger to his lips. His eyes twinkled through the darkness. “She does that to you. Always did. Part of the reason I signed on to this mission, to see if she entranced you.”

“So I was useless after we met?” David’s head shot up. “That’s unfair. For two years after that I risked my life and I saved—”

“Yes, yes, yes, many heroics in the war. Lots of battlefield prowess, so much demonstrated greatness.” Will chuckled a little and shook his head. “Please don’t start with me. I’m not stupid. I know you enlisted to further your own sense of worth, just as much as to fight for my right to be treated like a human. And the fact that the ‘cause’ aligned with all that philosophy you spout made the choice very easy.”

He squeaked a little, but Will wasn’t done. “What you did was courageous, but you don’t get to hide behind it.”

David opened his mouth in protest, but shut it.

“Good idea.” Will rubbed the back of his neck. “I like you, David, which is why I can see you. You’re not a storybook hero.” His friend sighed. “You have a good heart and do good things but you can be selfish and thoughtless too. Especially with your words.”

Will lowered his voice. “I know you wrote her letters and she wrote back. Ones that would make Thad break a few of your ribs if he ever found out. You aren’t that clever at hiding your tracks, something you should consider if you want to lead more operations.”

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