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“That’s not what I meant.” The bed creaked as her mother rose again. “I just wanted to let you know, I’d do anything for you. I want to make sure your life is safe and easy and happy. I want you to be happy, Amalia. More than anything. And I don’t think you’re happy.”
Something inside Amalia twisted and stirred at the plaintive note in her mother’s voice. Happy. “I just need to be organized and careful and do everything properly so I can make a difference, so I can do some good.”
A harsh snorting sound came from her mother. The woman pressed a hand over her mouth. “I’m sorry.” Her pale curls bobbed. “It’s just that—it’s wonderful to want to do good in the world, but no one, not even me, can do everything properly all the time. And besides, if you only live for other—”
A knock on the door. Amalia whirled around to see another maid peering into the room, shifting from foot to foot.
“Ma’am, you’re needed downstairs. There’s a bit of a problem with one of the tables and some decisions need to be made.”
“In one minute.” Her mother moved towards the door. “We aren’t finished here. We need to discuss your future more as well as the young man who came here with you.”
Amalia’s heart leapt into her throat. What had her mother figured out? Or more, what was she going to say about David? What fault would she find in him? Not the conversation she wanted to have—especially before she’d gained access to the trust. She worked to keep her face neutral.
“We’ll talk about it later. But right now, you have other matters which to attend. I still have to do my eyes anyway.” Amalia crossed her ankles so hard the heel of her boot probably made an impression in the leather of its mate.
Her mother hesitated, her dark-skirted presence lingering in the doorway. Amalia’s lip trembled. What would her mother say if she told her the truth, the whole truth—that she was in love with a man who wouldn’t give her what she wanted?
That she wasn’t just a failure, she was selfish and spoiled and was preparing to tread the same path over and over?
Everything inside her longed to run at the woman and sob and beg her to just tell her what to do, how to fix it, how to make it right. But she couldn’t and didn’t and when she finally turned around, her mother was gone.
* * *
Only the Truitts would turn a bris into a ball. David eyed the musicians as they practiced in a corner of the ballroom. Amalia’s mother had already called the assembled crowd of at least one hundred and fifty to one side. A lot of people with a lot of access to the house. Not ideal for Amalia’s safety, even if she was with family and friends. He’d need to be on his toes the entire evening. He craned his neck.
Mrs. Truitt stood next to her husband, son, and daughter-in-law. The newest Truitt fussed near his mother’s breast. Thad’s wife hushed him, while keeping her lips in a tight smile, her eyes ringed and her dark hair a little mussed. Thad’s eyes were equally circled and he yawned as he lifted his toddler daughter into his arms.
“I want to thank you all for coming,” Mrs. Truitt started. “I know some of you have seen this done twice—for this little one’s older cousins—but for those of you who haven’t, a bris is an important Jewish tradition. It’s done eight days after the birth of a male and seals the covenant with god.”
The crowd murmured. A man wearing a blue and white tallis—prayer shawl—stepped forward. The mohel—the man who would lead and conduct the ritual, who’d remove the baby’s foreskin. David’s stomach contracted and he flinched in sympathy. Not that he had any memory of his own.
“This will not hurt the infant and will welcome him into the people,” the man said. “Can we call up the godparents to help undress and hold the child?”
Thad yawned again. “Of course. My older sister is a bit under the weather, so bowed out. It’ll be my younger sister, Amalia, and—” Thad’s voice broke a little. “It would’ve been Simon, my younger brother, but...well, we have his best friend from the war, David Zisskind here, so he’ll be the godfather.”
David gasped. Wasn’t Thad supposed to ask first? Not that he’d say “no,” but still. His heart sped a bit, but perhaps this was a sign he’d finally arrived, was finally about to be accepted.
Yes. And if they permitted this, maybe, just maybe they’d find a way to allow him some time with Amalia. A warmth spread through David’s limbs. Head held high, he made his way through the crowd to stand next to Amalia, who was already jiggling the half cooing, half crying baby.
“We just have to pull up his gown and remove his cloth,” she whispered and tilted the baby towards him.
With the lightest of touches David slid the long white gown over the baby’s legs, removed the diapering cloth and—right in the face. Or more, his neck. And his shirt, and jacket, and tie.
“Ew.” Amalia wrinkled her nose, but giggled.
“Oh, I should’ve warned you.” Thad’s wife was at his ear. “Boys spray. This one a lot. His nurse has to change several times a day.”
Great, just great. David only nodded, keeping his face as dignified as possible because if this was some sort of test, damn it, he’d pass. Exceed anyone else who dared to play the game.
“We’ll get you a cloth and a change of clothes afterwards.” Thad patted his back. “Sorry about that, but thank you for doing this. It would’ve made Simon happy.”
David straightened his shoulders. “I’m honored.” Which was the truth, because being a godparent was an honor, and one neither of his own sisters had bestowed on him. And in Simon’s place, well...he couldn’t contemplate that lest he started to cry.
He turned as Amalia was handing the baby on a pillow to her mother’s older cousin, Isaac Levy, who was seated beside an empty chair—for the prophet Elijah, Thad had told him. Not his custom, but apparently one of theirs.
The mohel was speaking, starting the ceremony when she took her place next to him, and whispered in his ear. “My grandfather was the sendek for both of my older nephews but he passed last spring. Isaac’s now the oldest male on my mother’s side, which is to say isn’t very old.”
No, the man was probably only in his forties, much younger than Amalia’s father. He resisted the urge to put his arm around her because that would not be proper under any circumstances and instead nodded once more.
