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The conversation is over. After a short discussion a vote is held and Wansu’s position is retained. There is more business that is discussed but I’ve stopped listening. Earlier, I thought the worst thing I’d face was not ever seeing Yujun again. I hadn’t even contemplated that the worst thing would be to see him every day and not be able to have him. That scenario hadn’t occurred to me.
Finally, the meeting concludes and everyone files out, leaving Ellen, Wansu, Yujun, and me—the Choi family.
“You did well,” Wansu says. There’s a smugness in her voice that grates on me. Everything has worked out for her. She gets to keep her position and her company. Ellen and I are properly grateful for all that she’s done. She’s a heroine in her son’s eyes once again. I have been forced to forgive everyone—Ellen, Wansu, Bomi.
“Yes. You did a marvelous job, Hara. I was so proud of you. I know you hated it. She hates speaking in front of others,” Ellen explains.
I’m angry. I feel like a pawn in my own life. Wansu has moved me adroitly around the chessboard. Yes, she was wronged in her life, but everything has worked out for her. She gave up one child but gained a perfect son. She was born poor but now she lives in a house that is not only nicer than the one in Parasite but I’m sure has only expensive cars in the basement. I felt sorry for her and she used that against me. Now they want me to live here in South Korea, the land of polka dots, when I’m so clearly a stripe?
“Stop talking about me as if I’m not here,” I fume. “Stop treating me as if I’m a toy. I agreed to come here to save this company, not for you, Choi Wansu, but for Yujun and Bomi and all the other people that would suffer. I did it for them. I didn’t do it for you. I wouldn’t do anything for you.”
Ellen gasps. “No. No. She doesn’t mean those things. She’s in shock right now. Hara, apologize to Wansu right now.”
“Why? Because she paid for a few things. Have you seen the house she lives in or the car she drives? Actually, she doesn’t even drive. She sits in the back seat because she has a driver! Everything in her life is perfect. This is but a tiny blip in her well-planned life. And now she’s moving me to Korea to live and you’re okay with it?”
“Well, actually, Wansu has offered a place for me . . .” Ellen trails off at the sudden look of fury on my face.
“Did you all plot this out beforehand without telling me?”
“No.” This rejection comes from Yujun. “I hadn’t thought of it until Kim Jungkwon brought it up just now. But it’s a perfect solution. It’ll buy us time.”
“Time for what? For everyone around you to know us as brother and sister?” I speak bitterly.
“I raised her better. I swear I did.” Ellen wipes the tears away from her face. “She’s grateful. We all are. You’ve done so much for her.”
“No.” Wansu’s voice comes out harsh and brittle. “I can never make up for what I did. Hara’s rejection is appropriate. You reap what you sow. I made the decision to give you up, Hara, and I am not sorry. I would do it again. I would do it again.” Her voice breaks then and she begins to bend. Her knees fold, her head dips. The motions are all smooth and meaningful, but it doesn’t make sense to me. To see this very proud, very elegant woman in her tailored ivory suit go down to the floor seems like a scene from a movie and not real life. It’s not a ninety-degree bow of respect. It’s a full bow, on her knees, arms stretched forward, back bent. I shut my eyes because I do not want to see this.
Ellen collapses to the floor. “No. No. What are you doing?”
“Thank you. Thank you.” The perfect English that Wansu normally speaks is gone. She struggles for the words. “For caring for my child. For protecting her all these years. For raising her right.”
A rock lodges in my throat. I struggle to keep a grip on my bitterness. I don’t want to feel compassion or empathy. I want to be mad. I should be mad. Mad at Ellen for keeping secrets. Mad at Wansu for abandoning me. Mad at Yujun for being so damned understanding.
“This is your daughter, Hara,” Ellen begins to say, as if she’s introducing me for the first time. “She was an early reader. She spoke early, too. Her first word was ‘milk.’ I thought it was ‘mom’ but Pat said it was ‘milk’ and he was right. She was hungry. She can be clumsy and impatient. Stoic. So stoic. I think she got that from you.”
