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I saw a man who would do anything for me. Anything at all. “I want you to do something for me…” My heart raced because the moment had arrived. I didn’t plan it, but it suddenly felt like the best time to make my case, to plead with his heart that was literally in my hands.
His eyes shifted back and forth as he waited for the request.
“I want you to free her…for me.”
His expression didn’t change for the first few seconds. But when the change began, it was profound. Eyes darkened in rage. The softness of his calm features immediately tightened into a wall of hardness. Now we were back in time, and he stared me down with the same hatred he had on the steps of his home. “I enjoyed your lies. But I never believed them.” His hand dropped from my hair, and he left the bed.
The attempt immediately backfired in my face. “I didn’t lie to you—”
“You don’t love me.” He turned back to me, his arms by his sides, his hands clenched in fists. “She’s the only reason you came back to me. I’m not a fucking idiot. And as I said before, I will never let her go.” His voice was controlled and deep, and somehow that was more sinister than if he screamed. “And I will never let you go either. I love your lies and your performances. I let you go once, but now, I owe you nothing.” He grabbed his bottoms and pulled them on.
I was out of the bed and on my feet, naked and covered in a gleam of sweat. “I didn’t lie about that, Fender.”
He turned away, the conversation over. “The only reason you’re alive is because my love is stronger than my hate. Count your goddamn blessings.”
Both of my hands grabbed on to his arm. “I do love you…I do.” The emotion came out of nowhere, burning the corners of my eyes, making me realize this was no longer pretend. It had never been pretend. “Why can’t I have both? Why can’t I love you but also want her to be free?”
He yanked his arm away and turned back to me.
“If you really love me, you will do it.”
“No. I warned you that I wouldn’t change my mind about this. Not now. Not ever. Not for you. I agreed once, and she humiliated me. And then you—” His jaw tightened, and his eyes filled with darkness. “You crossed me just as much as she did. And I still kept my fucking promise to you.” He slammed his palm into his chest with a strike so hard it made a loud thud, but he didn’t flinch at the hit. “The only reason she’s alive is because of what you asked of me. How dare you ask for more?”
Tears streamed down my cheeks. “I don’t understand you…”
His eyes narrowed.
“This isn’t you.” Tears continued to fall, to streak across my quivering lips.
He pivoted closer toward me, looking down into my face with the same hardness.
“The man I know, the man I’ve fallen in love with, is kind, chivalrous, good… Why do these terrible things if it’s not who you are?”
He breathed hard as he stared me down.
“Why?” My voice broke with emotion. “Why do you keep my sister prisoner and punish her for running, when she’s doing exactly what you would do if you were in her situation? Why do you keep these girls against their will for forced labor when you’ve never forced me to do anything? Why do you not give the woman you love the one thing she wants more than anything? Why…?” The tears kept falling. “You have no idea what it’s like to love a man with everything that you have…and he stands for everything that you’re against. You have no idea what it’s like to love a man who’s literally keeping your sister a prisoner in a labor camp. And the only way I can justify it is…by believing that it’s not who you are. I truly believe that, that you’re better than this.” Everything broke through the dam and came rushing out, giving me a needed catharsis that I’d bottled inside for so long.
His enormous chest continued to rise and fall with labored breaths. An invisible button had been hit, because for the first time, he didn’t have a distinct reaction. He continued to think about every single word I spoke.
“Tell me…” I was on the precipice of truth, so close to understanding this man.
He inhaled one final deep breath then went still. “You’re wrong to believe I’m anything more than what you see. I feel nothing for anyone besides Magnus—and you. I do these terrible things because I’m a terrible man. My love for you is independent of my crimes and tragedies, and it’s not enough to release my hate. Your sister will never be free. She had her chance—and she blew it.”
