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Miranda entered the apartment in professional attire, heels clacking against the hardwood floor. “Magnus requested I take you two to the hospital.”
“The…the hospital?” My hand immediately went to my throat, the tears starting from deep inside my body, the anxiety infecting my body like a deadly disease. If Magnus had made the call, that meant he wasn’t the one in the hospital. “Fender…”
Raven turned to me, as if she’d drawn the same conclusion.
Miranda kept her calm composure. “Ready to go?”
“Is he okay?” I choked on a sob and cupped my mouth to make it stop. “Please tell me he’s okay…”
She scratched the side of her neck and looked down. “Magnus didn’t give me any information. He just told me to bring you two to him.”
“Is Magnus okay?” Raven asked.
Miranda nodded.
I stepped back, the heat flushing my body and making me dizzy. I backed up into a wall and stopped, my hand back over my mouth, my eyes on the floor, hyperventilating on the spot.
Raven placed her hand on my shoulder. “Melanie, we don’t know anything—”
“Fender wouldn’t need the hospital unless it was really bad…” He was bulletproof. He was the strongest man I’d ever met. Whatever happened was serious.
“Melanie—”
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” I threw her arm off my body. “Congratulations.”
She cowered at my viciousness, her eyes turning guarded and hurt at the same time. Her hand was in the air, and it slowly lowered back to her side as she watched me come apart, watched me experience agony and rage at the same time.
“I take it back, okay?”
“You won’t forgive Fender for anything, so don’t expect me to forgive you for wishing such a terrible thing. That man is my whole world…” Sobs racked me, made me move to the other wall. “He loves me for who I am—unlike you. He makes me happy. He makes me feel good about myself.”
Raven watched me, her eyes softening. “I’m sorry, okay?”
“I don’t give a shit if you’re sorry.” I threw down my arms. “If he dies…” I shook my head. “I’ll never forgive you. I’ll never forgive you for wishing that misery on me. I’ll never forgive you for wishing me to be alone for the rest of my life.”
Raven stared at me for a long time, her eyes falling to the ground. “I didn’t realize you felt this way—”
“Because you didn’t listen. You always assume I’m too stupid to know what I want. Well, he doesn’t think I’m stupid. He doesn’t think I’m dull. He doesn’t think I’m as weak and pathetic as you describe me.”
“Melanie, I don’t think you’re stupid—”
“Yes, you do. Don’t lie.”
She winced.
“And that’s fine. Because he thinks the world of me—and that’s all I need.”
Miranda took us to the hospital.
We went to the ER and found Magnus in the waiting room.
The second Raven saw him, she sprinted to him.
He got to his feet and caught her at the perfect moment, his arms locking around her, his lips kissing her as she kissed him. His hand cupped the back of her head, and he closed his eyes as he held her.
I looked around.
Fender wasn’t there.
I started to cry because my worst fear was coming true.
“Oh god…”
Watching them love each other only reminded me of what I had—and what I might lose. You never really appreciated something until it was gone. Fender was by my side nearly all the time, and I’d give anything to go back in time and experience one of those quiet moments, the two of us in comfortable silence in his office, watching TV on the couch, lying in bed together.
I couldn’t lose that.
Magnus and Raven broke apart. Magnus looked at me, pain in his eyes, and then stepped toward me.
No.
I couldn’t handle this.
I was already crying, looking at him expectantly, hoping for the best news possible.
He stopped in front of me, all his features tight.
“Is he going to be okay?” I could barely get the words out through my labored breathing. “What happened? Did he kill the motherfucker who did this to him?” I listed off questions in my hysteria, but they didn’t matter. There was only one question that needed an answer.
The same pained expression continued.
No.
“Melanie, I’m sorry… He’s probably not going to make it.”
It was an out-of-body experience. I could actually see myself from a different point of view, see the horror on my face, see the mess of tears that had washed off my makeup hours ago. The panic confused all the internal systems of my body. I was hot. Cold. Deaf. Weak. Full of adrenaline.
Paralyzed.
Once I grappled with the news, the sobs hit.
Hysteria.
Mania.
Misery. Fucking misery.
Raven came to me, and I didn’t push her away.
I didn’t care about anything right now.
All I could do was drown.
Sometimes, I paced in the waiting room. Sometimes, I took a walk through the hospital. Sometimes, I sat alone in a chair. It was a constant cycle, a constant rhythm of discomfort that I couldn’t fix, no matter what I did.
