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“I feel like there’s a story to that.”
“There is. And it involved Gerald.” I roll my eyes and push him toward the bathroom. “Go run a bath.”
He does as requested and disappears into the bathroom to run the hot water.
“You have the best daddy in the world, JJ.” I finish cleaning him up and wrap him in a light blanket, thinking about how lucky I am and how sometimes life tosses us a curveball that ends up bringing a miracle along with it.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Forever Unfolding
Hanna
JAKE PROVES TO be not only a dedicated father, but also a true partner. Even though he gets up every day and goes to work, he also helps manage middle of the night diaper changes.
The first two weeks are a blur of feeding, changing diapers, and napping. I’d forgotten about the honeymoon phase. At first, JJ sleeps, like . . . well, a baby. A very happy, very content baby. I settle into a new groove. I can’t believe I’ve lucked out and managed to have another easy baby, exactly like Ryan was.
Although, my mother had stepped in and taken over most of the middle of the night responsibilities where Ryan was concerned, since I was attending high school full-time a couple of weeks after he was born.
But all the same, JJ doesn’t cry or fuss a lot. In fact, he seems like the perfect baby. Sweet, happy, and adorable.
And then, just as his middle name suggests, the winds change a little over a month after Jacob Storm comes into the world.
He becomes more alert, awake for longer periods of time. And he loves to be carried around. I try to use one of those baby carriers, so my hands are free, but it’s like he knows that I’m not actually holding him, and he starts to fuss unless he’s in my arms. His favorite thing to do is stare at my face. It’s sweet, but it also means I can’t get a whole heck of a lot done.
He also decides that three in the morning is a good time to be awake. And not just to feed or have his diaper changed. He legitimately wants to be entertained. This wasn’t one of the things I had to contend with when Ryan was a baby. So it takes some real discipline on my part not to pick him up every single time he makes a noise.
Last night he was up three times. Once for a feeding, once for a diaper change, and once because he felt it was time to play, not sleep. At six-thirty, I give up on the idea of getting any more sleep and settle into Jake’s lounger so I can breastfeed, hoping it will help calm him and allow me to get another twenty minutes of half-sleep. Which is better than no sleep.
I’m sure I look like something the cat dragged in. My hair is pulled up into a messy bun. I keep having to blow strands out of my face and my giant boob is hanging out of my shirt. JJ’s hand rests protectively on the swell, his eyes closed, sucking contentedly.
“That’s the life, right there.” Jake is standing in the middle of the living room. He’s wearing navy dress pants, a white button-down, and a tie that matches his eyes hangs loose around his neck.
I give him a sleepy smile. “Got some boob jealousy?”
He holds his fingers half an inch apart. “Maybe a little.”
“The cleavage might look sweet, but being a feedbag doesn’t scream sexy.”
He crosses the room so he’s standing next to me. “I’ll agree to disagree on that. You’re one hot mama.”
I snort a laugh. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
“I’m not lying, Hanna. There’s something ridiculously sexy about seeing you mom like a boss.” He strokes my cheek and tips his head to the side. “How are you doing? You were up a lot last night.”
“I’m okay. Tired. Hoping JJ will want a big, long nap this afternoon.”
“I’m sorry I can’t stay home today.”
Jake took the diaper change and I took the other two middle of the night disturbances, but the broken sleep isn’t as easy to manage as it was when I was younger. Even the frequent get-up-to-pee in the middle of the night during the last trimester have nothing on this. And I can see the fatigue on Jake’s face. I feel bad that he has to go to work and manage a team while I get to spend my entire day with our son. I can be a total zombie, but he has to be productive and effective. He’s still sexy, even though he looks like he could use at least three more hours of sleep.
“You don’t need to apologize. Playoffs are right around the corner. Queenie’s supposed to stop by this afternoon, and she offered to watch JJ for a couple of hours later in the week so I can do a grocery run.”
