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“Nothing.”
She cocks her head, not believing me. “You look exhausted.” She gently pushes my hair behind my ear as I wipe down the bar. “Have you eaten anything today?”
“I’m fine,” I tell her. “Just tired.”
“Is Cole causing you more problems?”
I sigh, feeling my stomach grow shaky. I want to talk to someone, but I’m sick of being the girl with guy problems. I’m tired of Shel worrying about me, and I don’t want her to know. She already thinks Pike is an ass, and for some reason, I hate that. I don’t want to give her more ammo.
“Why is his father calling you?” she presses me.
I avoid her gaze, drop the dishcloth in the bucket of hot water, and grab a fresh one, wiping off the same liquor bottles I already did this afternoon.
I feel her eyes on me. “Jordan, what have you gotten yourself into?”
My chin trembles, and tears sting the backs of my eyes. “Nothing,” I say, still not looking at her. “I’ll be okay.”
A server comes out of the kitchen with food, and I step around one of the other bartenders coming back with a new bottle of Captain from the liquor closet. I think for a moment, trying to figure out what I can do next, and finally bend over to retrieve a package of napkins from a cabinet. Tearing it open, I start to refill one of the containers on the bar.
“Go home,” Shel says, putting her hand over the container. “Get some sleep.”
“I’m fine. I’d rather be here.”
“If you don’t go home, then go to your sister’s,” she suggests. “Just please get some rest. You work any more hours today, you’re not going to be able to drive yourself home at all tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I open my mouth to argue, but she just shakes her head at me, knowing what I’m about to say.
“I’m not your mom,” she points out, “but I’m as good as. You need sleep. Get some food from the kitchen and go. Please.”
I do as Shel says, make myself a sandwich I don’t feel like eating, and climb into my car, turning on the engine. An Alice Cooper song is playing on the 80’s station I’m tuned to, but I turn it off, not in the mood at all for the escape I usually crave.
Home. It takes me a good twenty minutes of driving aimlessly around town, lost in my head, before I commit to whose home I’m going to. I need clothes and my school books, and even though I don’t want to see Pike, Cole, or his mother, I can’t use my sister’s make-up for another day. Everything has glitter in it.
As I pull onto Windy Park Place, I take in the stream of cars and trucks lining both sides of the street, as well as Pike’s full driveway. Some vehicles I recognize, some I don’t, but I slide into a slot between two cars in front of Cramer’s house, spotting the lights coming from over Pike’s fence in his backyard.
Cole must be having a party. Super.
Leaving my purse in the car, I take my keys, lock it, and walk toward the house, wanting to be anywhere but here, but knowing I need to do this. My skin buzzes with awareness, and the hair on my arms rises as the music floods my ears. But I charge up the porch steps, still dressed in my backless blouse from work. I tighten my high ponytail and just hope with all the people here, Pike and Cole don’t notice me come and go.
I enter the house and look around, seeing the back door bob closed as someone walks out, and then I hear the bathroom door close in the laundry room. The light under the door to the basement is on, and the chatter outside is almost as loud as the music. At least Cole is keeping people out of the house, for the most part. Pike is most likely not sleeping through this.
Gently stepping up the stairs, I walk quietly down the hallway, seeing Pike’s bedroom door closed and the light off inside. Cole’s door is also closed, and I open mine, peeking inside and seeing it empty. My bed is unmade from Cole’s mother sleeping in it last night, and I look around, using the light streaming in from outside to see. None of Lindsay’s things are in here, so maybe her apartment is done then. Leaving the light off, I grab my leather book bag and stuff in books and notebooks from my desk and start loading a duffel bag with clothes and anything else I’ll immediately need.
“Thought I heard someone come in,” a voice behind me says.
My heart stops, and I hesitate, instantly recognizing the voice. I close my eyes, willing him to go away.
Cole wouldn’t have invited him. He must be crashing the party.
Scissors sit on my desk in front of me, and I eye it, instinct kicking in.
“Cole broke up with Elena,” Jay tells me. “You gonna take him back?”
Broke up? Were they really together? I look down at my thumb, seeing the small scar in the darkness and barely feeling anything anymore. How he could always tug at my heart, but now, it seems like ages ago Cole gave a damn about me. I can’t even muster an ounce of longing tonight for the connection we once had.
Survival mode has kicked in. My brain is in control now, and it won’t give me the keys to my heart until it’s sure it can take it.
“You want a little revenge first?” Jay taunts, an
