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I hurried through the lobby and took the stairs. “We can talk in my apartment,” I said. “I need to change my shirt.”
“Sorry about your shirt, dude. Those Trekkies turned ugly. I'm telling you, they were a mob,” Mooner said. “That Federation is in trouble. They're never gonna make a go of it with members like that. They had no regard for Dougie's personal residence.”
I opened my apartment door. “Was there much damage?”
Mooner flopped onto the couch. “In the beginning, we thought it was just going to be cheese-ball damage. But then we had trouble with the VCR and had to cut the film portion of the evening short.”
“The VCR crapped out right in the middle of 'The Trouble with Tribbles,' and we were lucky to escape with our lives,” Dougie said.
“We're, like, afraid to go back there, dude. We were wondering if we could crash here tonight with you and your granny.”
“Grandma Mazur moved back to my parents'.”
“Too bad. She was happening.”
I gave them pillows and blankets.
“Rad bracelet,” Mooner said.
I looked at the cuff still locked onto my right wrist. I'd forgotten it was there. I wondered if Ranger was still in the lot. And I wondered if I should have gone with him. I slid the bolt on the door, and then I locked myself in my bedroom, crawled into bed with the cheese gunk still in my hair, and immediately fell asleep.
When I woke up the next morning I realized I'd forgotten about Joe.
Shit.
There was no answer at his house, and I was about to try his pager when the phone rang.
“What the hell's going on?” Joe said. “I just got in to work and heard you got attacked by a Romulan.”
“I'm fine. I made an apprehension at a Star Trek event, and it sort of got weird.”
“Unfortunately, I have some weird news of my own. Your friend Carol Zabo is back on the bridge. It seems she and a whole pack of her friends kidnapped Joyce Barnhardt and left her naked and tied to a tree by the pet cemetery in Hamilton Township.”
“Are you kidding me? Carol got arrested for kidnapping Joyce Barnhardt?”
“No. Joyce didn't press charges. It was a real event, though. Half the force went out to turn her loose. Carol got arrested for being too happy in a public place. I think she and the girls were celebrating with wacky tobaccy. She's only looking at a misdemeanor, but nobody can convince her she's not going to jail. We were wondering if you could go out and talk her off the bridge. She's making a mess out of rush hour.”
“I'll be right there.” This was all my fault. Boy, when things started to go wrong the whole world turned into a toilet.
I'd gone to bed in my clothes, so I didn't have to bother getting dressed. On my way through the living room, I yelled to Mooner and Dougie that I'd be back. By the time I got to the back door of the building I had my pepper spray in hand, just in case Ranger jumped out at me from behind a bush.
There was no Ranger. And there was no Habib or Mitchell either, so I took off for the bridge. Cops were lucky—they had those big red lights when they needed to get somewhere fast. I didn't have any lights, so I just drove on the sidewalk when the traffic clogged up.
There was a steady rain falling. Tempera
tures were in the forties, and the entire state's population was on the phone checking airfares to Florida. Except, of course, for the people who were on the bridge, gawking at Carol.
I parked behind a blue-and-white and made my way on foot to the middle of the bridge, where Carol was perched on the railing, holding an umbrella.
“Thanks for taking care of Joyce,” I said. “What are you doing on the bridge?”
“I got arrested again.”
“You're charged with a misdemeanor. You won't go to jail for it.”
Carol climbed off the railing. “I just wanted to make sure.” She squinted at me. “What's in your hair? And what's with the handcuff? You've been with Morelli, right?”
“Not in a while,” I said, wistfully.
