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“What the hell?” Lula said. “What the fuck?”
It was Habib and Mitchell. They thought they had Ranger.
Morgan got bundled into the mom-van, and the van rocketed off.
Lula and I sat in shocked silence, not sure what to do.
Joyce was yelling and waving her arms. Finally she kicked the flat tire, got into her SUV, and, I assume, made a phone call.
“That worked out pretty good,” Lula finally said.
I backed up half a block without lights, turned the corner, and drove away. “Where do you think they picked us up?”
“Must have been at my house,” Lula said. “They probably didn't want to make a move when there were two of us. And then they got real lucky when Joyce got that flat.”
“They're not going to think they're so lucky when they find out they've got Morgan the Horse.”
DOUGIE AND MOONER were playing Monopoly when I got back to Dougie's house. “I thought you worked at Shop & Bag,” I said to Mooner. “Why aren't you ever working?”
“I lucked out and got laid off, dude. I'm telling you, this is a great country. Where else could a dude get paid for not working?”
I went into the kitchen and dialed Morelli. “I'm at Mooner's house,” I told him. “I just had another weird night.”
“Yeah, well, it isn't over yet. Your mother's called over here four times in the last hour. You'd better phone home.”
“What's wrong?”
“Your grandmother went out on a date, and she isn't back yet, and your mother's losing it.”
Stephanie Plum 6 - Hot Six
15
MY MOTHER ANSWERED on the first ring. “It's midnight,” she said, “and your grandmother isn't home. She's out with that turtle man.”
“Myron Landowsky?”
“They were supposed to go to dinner. That was at five o'clock. Where could they be? I've called his apartment and there's no answer. I've called all the hospitals—”
“Mom, they're adults. They could be doing lots of stuff. When Grandma was living with me I never knew where she was.”
“She's running wild!” my mother said. “Do you know what I found in her room? Condoms! What does she want with condoms?”
“Maybe she makes balloon animals out of them.”
“Other women have mothers who get sick and go to nursing homes or die in their beds. Not me. I have a mother who wears spandex. What did I do to deserve this?”
“You should go to bed and stop worrying about Grandma.”
“I'm not going to bed until that woman comes home. We're going to have a talk. And your father is here, too.”
Oh great. There'll be a big scene, and Grandma will be back, living in my apartment.
“Tell Daddy he can go to bed. I'll come over and sit up with you.” Anything to keep Grandma from moving back in with me.
I called Joe and told him I might be over later, but he shouldn't wait up. Then I reborrowed the Cherokee and drove to my parents' house.
My mother and I were sleeping on the couch when Grandma came in at two o'clock.
