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“Yeesh.”
Ranger smiled. “Lock your door.” And he was gone.
I locked my door, and I set the floor bolt. Ranger had successfully taken my mind off the masturbating rabbit. Now if I could just get my mind to stop thinking about Ranger. I knew everything Ranger said was true, with the possible exception of forgetting Morelli. It wasn't easy to forget Morelli. I'd put a lot of effort into it over the years, but had never been successful.
My phone rang, and someone made kissy sounds to me. I hung up, and it rang again. More kissy sounds. When it rang a third time I pulled the plug.
A half hour later, someone was at my door. “I know you're in there,” Vinnie yelled. “I saw the CR-V in the parking lot.”
I unlocked the floor bolt, the door bolt, the security chain, and the dead bolt.
“Jesus Christ,” Vinnie said when I finally opened the door. “You'd think there was something valuable in this rat trap.”
“I'm valuable.”
“Not as a bounty hunter, you aren't. Where's Bender? I've got two days to produce Bender, or I pay the money to the court.”
“You're here to tell me that?”
“Yeah. I figured you needed some reminding. I've got my mother-in-law at my house today, driving me nuts. I thought this would be a good time to get Bender. I tried to call you, but your phone isn't working.”
What the hell, I didn't have anything else to do. I was sitting here trapped in my apartment with my phone disconnected.
I left Vinnie to wait in the entrance hall, and I went in search of my gun belt. I returned with the black nylon web holster strapped to my leg and my .38 loaded and ready for quick draw.
“Whoa,” Vinnie said, clearly impressed. “You're finally serious.”
Right. Serious about not getting porked by a rabbit. We cruised out of the lot with me driving and Vinnie working the radio. I turned toward the center of town, keeping one eye on the road ahead and one eye on the rearview mirror. A green SUV came up behind me. He cut over a double line and passed me. The guy in the Clinton mask was behind the
wheel, and the big ugly rabbit was riding shotgun. The rabbit turned and popped up through the sun roof and looked back at me. His ears were whipping around in the wind, and he was holding his head on with both hands.
“It's the rabbit,” I yelled. “Shoot him! Take my gun and shoot him!”
“What are you, nuts?” Vinnie said. “I can't shoot an unarmed rabbit.”
I was struggling, trying to get my gun out of the holster, trying to drive at the same time.
“I'm going to shoot him then. I don't care if I get sent to jail. It'll be worth it. I'm going to shoot him in his stupid rabbit head.” I wrenched the gun out of the holster, but I didn't want to shoot through Ranger's windshield. “Take the wheel,” I yelled to Vinnie. I opened the window, leaned out, and got off a shot.
The rabbit instantly retreated into the car. The SUV accelerated and turned left, onto a side street. I waited for traffic to pass, and then I turned left, also. I saw them ahead of me. They were turning and turning until we went full circle, and we were back on State. The SUV pulled up at a convenience store, and the two men took off on foot, around the brick building. I slid to a stop beside the Explorer. Vinnie and I jumped from the CR-V and ran after the men. We chased them for a couple blocks, they cut through a yard, and they disappeared.
Vinnie was bent at the waist, sucking air. “Why are we chasing a rabbit?”
“It's the rabbit who firebombed my CR-V.”
“Oh yeah. Now I remember. I should have asked sooner. I would have stayed in the car. Jesus, I can't believe you got off a shot hanging out the window. Who do you think you are, the Terminator? Christ, your mother would have my nuts if she knew you did that. What were you thinking?”
“I got excited.”
“You weren't excited. You were berserk!”
Stephanie Plum 8 - Hard Eight
14
WE WERE IN a neighborhood of large old houses. Some of them had been renovated. And some were waiting for renovation. Some had been turned into apartment buildings. Most of the houses were on good-size lots and sat back from the road. The rabbit and his partner had disappeared around the side of one of the apartment houses. Vinnie and I prowled around the house, standing still from time to time, listening, hoping the rabbit would give himself away. We checked between cars parked in the driveway, and we looked behind shrubs.
“I don't see them,” Vinnie said. “I think they're gone. Either they slipped past us and doubled back to their car, or else they're holed up in this house.”
