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Problem number two: I didn't want to contaminate the sheets with the gunk in my hair. This meant I'd have to shower in Ranger's bathroom. A shower meant I'd have to get naked. And the thought of being naked in Ranger's bathroom brought back the cold sweat.
Just do it, I told myself. Be an adult. Unfortunately, being an adult was part of the dilemma. I was having a very adult reaction to getting naked in the shower. An uncomfortable mix of desire and acute embarrassment. I ordered myself to ignore it all. I squinched my eyes closed and took my clothes off. I opened my eyes, adjusted the water, and stepped under the spray. Serious. Down to business.
Get the gunk out of my hair. Get out of the shower.
Halfway through lathering with Ranger's shower gel I was barely able to focus. The scent seemed to swell around me. I was hot and slippery with shower gel, and I was surrounded by Essence of
Ranger. Agony. Ecstasy. I was living a wet dream. Yikes. Next time
I broke into Ranger's apartment I would bring my own soap.
I scrubbed my hair with a vengeance, rushed out of the shower, and toweled off. Yes, these were Ranger's towels and God only knows what they've touched, so don't go there! This was not exactly a silent thought. This was more of a mental shriek.
I got dressed in undies and T-shirt and marched off to bed. I slipped under the covers. I closed any eyes and groaned. It was heaven. Like floating on a seven-hundred-thread-count cloud.
Total comfort, except for the uneasy feeling of impending doom.
The room was still dark when I awoke the next morning. Curtains were drawn throughout the apartment, and I wasn't about to open them. Didn't want to broadcast my presence. I rolled out of bed and went straight to the shower. It was daytime. I was feeling much more brave. And God help me, I was looking forward to Rangers shower. I was a shower-gel slut!
After the shower, I had an orange and some granola for breakfast. "I got through the night, and I survived the shower,' I said to Rex, sharing a slice of orange with him, dropping some granola in his food dish. 'I don't know why I was so worried.
Probably Ranger wouldn't even mind that I was here. After all, he's slept in my bed and used my shower. Of course, I was in them at the time. Still, what's good for the gander is good for the goose, don't you think?' The apartment was quiet and comfortable, and I was feeling less like an intruder. 'This isn't too different from living with Morelli,' I told Rex. 'I was a guest there. And I'm a guest here.' The fact that Ranger didn't know I was a guest was starting to seem like a technicality. 'Don't worry,' I said. 'I'm going to get our apartment back. All I have to do is find a place for Valerie. And hopefully the Slayer problem will go away.'
I didn't expect Ranger would be home anytime soon, but I wrote a note of explanation, just in case, and propped it on Rex's cage. I closed Rangers front door behind me and remoted it locked. Then
I took the stairs, stopping periodically to listen for footfalls, keeping alert for the sound of a fire door opening above or below me.
I cracked the door to the garage and peeked out. Ranger's two cars were still in place. The SUVs had multiplied overnight. There were now four of them parked side by side. No humans walking around, so I scuttled across the garage, opened the gate, and hurried up the street to the truck.
I hauled myself up behind the wheel, locked the doors around me, and sat for a moment in the silence, inhaling the delicious aroma of leather seats and Ranger.
I sniffed my arm and groaned. The Ranger smell was coming from me. He'd given me his truck, and I'd moved into his home.
I'd slept in his bed, and I'd showered with his shower gel. I couldn't imagine what would follow if he found out.
Ranger rarely showed emotion. He was more a man of action... throwing people against walls and out windows, never breaking a sweat, his face perfectly composed. Now you've made me mad, he'd calmly say. And then bodies would fly through the air. The bodies always belonged to scumbags who'd done really bad things, so the carnage wasn't totally unjustified. Still, it was a scary and awesome spectacle to watch.
I didn't think Ranger would throw me against a wall or out a window. My fear was more that we'd stop being friends. And there was also a small fear that retribution would be sexual. Ranger would never do anything that wasn't consensual. Problem was, once Ranger truly invaded my space there wasn't a lot I didn't eventually consent to. Ranger was very good in close.
Okay, so what's up for the day? Harold Pancek was my only outstanding case. I needed to work at finding Pancek. Probably I should check up on Carol Cantell. I should stay out of Slayerland.
And I needed to find an apartment for Valerie.
A call to Morelli was in the number one slot.
'Hey,' I said when he answered. 'Just wanted to make sure you're okay.'
'Where are you?'
`I'm in the truck on the way to work. Any new damage from the
Slayers?'
'No. It was a quiet night... after you left. So what's the deal, are you coming back?'
'No. Never.'
We both knew that was a big fib. I always came back.
