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“I’d listen more if you talked less,” Vinnie said.
“Hunh,” Lula said. “Your ass.”
The crime-scene tape had been stretched across wooden barricades placed close to what used to be the building housing the bonds office. The sidewalk was still passable, and there was still on-street parking. Lula’s Firebird was at the curb, along with Connie’s car and the Love Bus. Mooner and the Hobbits were on the sidewalk, looking at the rubble.
I parked in front of the Firebird, and walked back to Mooner.
“Dude,” Mooner said. “Someone was smoking in bed.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Not much left of the bonds office.”
“Too bad,” Mooner said. “I was gonna plug in. The Hobbits need computer juice.”
“I have to do my blog,” one of the Hobbits said. “I have to Twitter.”
“Bungo Goodchild,” an old Hobbit said. “Where are your manners? Introduce us to this lovely creature.”
Mooner pointed to the old Hobbit. “This is Oldbuck of Buckland. He’s, like, the oldest dude, but he’s cool. The little guy standing next to him is Poppy Proudfoot. Then there’s Fredoc Broadbeam. That’s, like, self-explanatory. Twofoot of Nobottle. Fauxfrodo. And Chicaribbit.”
“That’s a lot of Hobbits,” Lula said.
“Tell me about it,” Mooner said. “It’s like I need rubber walls on the old bus. And I can’t bake brownies fast enough for these dudes. They sure love their brownies.”
The Hobbits were all dressed in a mix of shabby chic Hobbit clothes and assorted footgear. Brown hooded capes, green or brown vests over tunics. Peddle pusher–type pants cinched in with a variety of belts from rope to lizard. Chicaribbit was a girl Hobbit, and her purse matched her pink Converse sneakers. Fredoc Broadbeam was as wide as he was tall. Twofoot of Nobottle was a tall, gangly guy with sandy blond hair and a scraggly beard. Fauxfrodo was nineteen or twenty and covered with tattoos and piercings. And Poppy Proudfoot was the youngest. I was guessing he was seventeen or eighteen.
“How long are the Hobbits going to be with you?” I asked Mooner.
“A week. Hobbit Con starts today, but it doesn’t really start to swing until Tuesday when The High Holy One proclaims it officially in session.”
“I need to charge my phone,” Poppy said. “My mom’s going to freak if she can’t call me.”
“Me, too,” Oldbuck said. “My wife will think I’m fooling around if I don’t answer my phone.”
“You can plug in at my place,” I said.
What the heck, I didn’t have anything else to do.
“Did you hear that?” Mooner said to the Hobbits. “We have juice! Ysellyra Thorney is going to let all you dudes plug in.”
“Three cheers for Ysellyra,” Broadbeam said.
“Hobbit hooray!” they all yelled. “Hooray! Hooray!”
“Let’s do it again,” Poppy said.
“Not necessary,” I told them. “Get in the bus and follow me.”
“Boy, Hobbits know how to have a good time,” Lula said. “Don’t take much to make them happy.”
I drove across town with the Love Bus on my tail. I parked in the lot to my building, and we all trooped into the elevator. Twofoot, Poppy, Broadbeam, Oldbuck, Fauxfrodo, Chicaribbit, Mooner, Vinnie, and me.
“There are a lot of Hobbits in this elevator,” Vinnie said. “Anybody know the weight limit?”
Mooner pushed the button for the second floor and the elevator creaked and shuddered and slowly rose.
“We have lift-off,” Mooner said.
“Hobbit Hooray!” they all yelled. “Hooray! Hooray!”
