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My mother set a full rump roast in front of my father, and my grandmother came in with a cauldron of mashed potatoes. My father carved up the roast, and my mother and grandmother brought green beans, gravy, and applesauce to the table.
Buggy’s eyes were darting from dish to dish. He was sitting next to my father, and he had a good grip on his fork, waiting for a signal that he could dig in, keeping close watch on my father, who still held the big carving knife.
My father selected a piece of meat and placed the knife on the table.
“Buggy,” my mother said. “Help yourself.”
“Yuh!” Buggy said, lunging for the meat platter, forking slabs of it onto his plate.
In seconds he had a mountain of meat and potatoes, beans, and applesauce. He poured gravy over the mountain until it slopped over his plate and ran onto the tablecloth. He shoveled the food into his mouth, chewing, swallowing, grunting, smacking his lips. Gravy oozed out of his mouth and dripped off his chin. Everyone sat in frozen horror watching Buggy eat.
“Isn’t he adorable,” Lula said. “Don’t you just love a man who enjoys his food?”
“Get the antidote potion for Stephanie,” Annie said to Grandma. “The one I gave you. The little bottle with the pink liquid.”
“Okay,” Grandma said, “but don’t let him eat my food while I’m gone.”
“What antidote is that?” Lula asked.
“I gave Stephanie a love potion a couple days ago,” Annie said, “but I found out it’s defective, so I prepared an antidote.”
Grandma came with the little pink bottle. “Here it is,” she said, putting it on the table.
“I was the one who drank Stephanie’s love potion,” Lula said. “How was it defective?”
Annie went blank. She didn’t have an answer.
Grandma jumped in. “It’ll give you worms,” she said. “If you don’t drink the antidote soon enough, you get worms and all your hair falls out.”
“What about finding true love?” Lula asked.
“You gotta make a choice between true love and worms,” Grandma said.
Lula did a shiver. “I don’t want worms. Do you think it’s too late? Will the antidote work on me?”
“Only one way to find out,” Grandma said.
Lula chugged the bottle and felt her hair. “Anyone notice if I’ve been losing hair? Do I look like I got worms? I think I might feel some crawling around inside me.”
“Anything else?” Annie asked. “Do you feel a little chilly?”
“Yeah, maybe a little,” Lula said.
“That’s a sign that the antidote is working,” Annie told her.
Lula sat perfectly still. “I don’t feel nearly so wormy anymore.”
Buggy took a slice of beef off Lula’s plate and shoved it into his mouth.
“Say what?” Lula said to Buggy. “You just took my pot roast.”
“Honey Pot’s hungry,” Buggy said.
“Shrek wouldn’t never have taken Princess Fiona’s pot roast,” Lula said.
“Well, I’m not Shrek,” Buggy said. “I’m Honey Pot.”
“You’re no honey pot, either,” Lula told him. “Who the heck said you’re a honey pot?”
