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Lula tapped the address in and we watched while the phone searched.
“Here it is,” Lula said. “It’s off Route 1. Looks like it’s just before Quaker Bridge Mall. Are we going there? We could stop at Quaker Bridge and get one of them big salty soft pretzels and a Blizzard.”
“That would be great,” I said. “And we could get a couple cheeseburgers.”
“Don’t forget the fries.”
“Do they still make supersize? I need supersize.”
“Drive faster,” Lula said. “I’m about to have the big O just thinking about the fries.”
I reached the mall in record time, parked, and Lula and I jumped out of the car and ran to the food court.
We hit the burger place first, and Lula pulled a wad of money out of her purse. “I want two of everything on your menu,” she said to the girl behind the counter. “And hurry up because I have to put in my order at Dairy Queen and Dunkin’ Donuts.”
“Yeah, me too,” I said. “I want the same.”
The counter girl stared at us. “Am I getting punked?”
“Say what?” Lula said.
“Omigod,” I said to Lula. “What are we doing?” I grabbed her arm and pulled her away from the counter. “We’re out of control.”
“I don’t feel out of control,” Lula said.
“Have you ever ordered everything on a menu before?”
“Do I have to answer that?”
“I’m going to the sandwich place and I’m getting a turkey club.”
“That don’t sound like a lot of fun.”
“You can eat whatever the heck you want, but I have to get into
a bridesmaid dress on Saturday, and I don’t want to look like a whale.”
Lula tagged after me to the sandwich shop. “Who’s getting married?”
“Ranger’s client. The same one we did security for last Friday.”
“So this is a bridesmaid job? You’re like a undercover bridesmaid. Like in Miss Congeniality. Remember that movie? Sandra Bullock was a FBI agent that they made into a beauty queen. I loved that movie.”
I got a turkey club and a bottle of water, and Lula got ham and cheese, a bag of chips, and a soda.
“I think it was Tiki sitting in your backseat that made us crazy for all that food,” Lula said. “You might want to think about giving him back to Logan, on account of he’s going to make us fat.”
Tiki fell into the same category for me as Grandma Bella and Catholicism. I couldn’t bring myself to be a true believer and have complete faith, but I had fear. There was the irrational possibility of the existence of a power beyond my comprehension.
“I can’t give him back. I need the recovery money.”
“Yeah, but Tiki might be more trouble than he’s worth. Money isn’t everything.”
“The only people who say that are people who have enough money to pay the rent.”
We finished eating and went back to the Buick and Tiki.
“Look at him,” Lula said. “He’s smirking. I know smirking when I see it.” She pulled attitude and leaned in to him. “Well ha ha on you, because we didn’t eat all that food. We had a nutritious meal of a sandwich.”
