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“Another chance to create chaos,” Morelli said. “Go for it.”
He kissed me on the top of my head, Bob gave me a slurp on the cheek, and they left.
I sipped my coffee and thought about my day. Probably it wasn’t going to be great. I took a shower, pulled my hair into a ponytail, and swiped on extra mascara to perk up my mood. I had a leftover hot dog for breakfast and headed for the office. I got the call just as I parked in the bonds office lot.
“Notice how calm I am,” Morelli said. “I’m not yelling, right?”
“Right.”
“You should know it’s costing me. I can feel myself getting a double hernia from keeping it in.”
“I’m supposing you heard something.”
“Everyone heard. It’s stopped just short of the morning news on CNN. What the heck happened?”
“What did you hear?” I asked him.
“I heard that you caught Sunny taking the garbage out for Rita, and you filled him with buckshot.”
“Actually, Rita was the one who shot Sunny. She was trying to shoot me, but she got him by mistake.”
“That doesn’t even make me feel better,” Morelli said.
“Lula, Grandma, and I were doing surveillance, and one thing led to another, and Sunny got a load of buckshot. How is he?”
“He’ll live. My mother said he got a few pellets in his leg and his ass.”
“Your mother said ‘ass’?”
“She said ‘buttock,’ but I feel stupid saying ‘buttock.’ My crazy grandmother is going to be on the rampage.”
“She already condemned me to hell. What’s left?”
“She could send you there sooner rather than later, and I wouldn’t be happy to have a dead girlfriend and a grandmother behind bars.”
“Do you really think she’d shoot me?”
“No. She’d poison you. She’s Sicilian. She’d get you with a meatball.”
I said goodbye on that happy thought and walked myself into the office.
“I’m not driving you anymore,” Lula said to me. “Every time I take you somewhere, people shoot at us.”
“Not every time.”
Vinnie stuck his head out of his office. “Way to go, cuz. I hear there’s a contract out on you for shooting up Uncle Sunny.”
“I didn’t shoot Sunny. Rita shot Sunny.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass who shot Sunny,” Vinnie said. “Bottom line is he’s still out there, and I’m in the red for a lot of money. And you know what happens when this agency is in the red? Harry gets nervous. And you know what happens when Harry gets nervous? He smashes things… like fingers and knees and private parts I’m real fond of. So get on your horse and make a freaking capture. The guy’s full of buckshot. He’s not gonna be moving fast. How hard could it be to run him down?”
“He’s never alone,” I said to Vinnie. “He’s got bodyguards. And no one will snitch on him.”
“Not everyone likes him,” Vinnie said. “A guy like Sunny makes enemies. Mostly they have a short life expectancy, but there’s gotta be someone out there who wants him caught besides me. Be creative, for crissake!”
The front door to the bail bonds office crashed open and Bella took two steps in and pointed her finger at me.
“You!” she said. “Devil woman. You shoot my nephew. Now I shoot you.”
