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“I guess I should have gone for the fire extin
guisher instead of the schnapps,” Randy said. “I just grabbed the first thing I saw that was liquid.”
The glow from the schnapps was long gone, I was starving hungry, and I was finding it difficult to focus. I wanted to crawl into my bed and pretend the day had never happened. I’d called Morelli an hour ago, and he and Bob were close behind me, waiting to take me home.
The guy from the fire department closed his notebook, glanced at Morelli, and gave him one of those looks that said, You poor bastard, how did you ever get involved with this idiot woman?
“Really sorry about your apartment,” I said to Randy. “Probably I’m not cut out to be a butcher, but at least I know how to cook a steak now.”
Randy nodded, and Morelli maneuvered me across the street and into his SUV.
“Do you think he understands that I’m not going to show up for work tomorrow?” I asked Morelli.
“I don’t think it matters,” Morelli said. “The fire marshal found half a truckload of hijacked schnapps in Berger’s apartment. He had cases of it stacked up like cordwood in his bedroom. There’s a good chance Berger won’t be showing up for work either.”
Bob and Morelli and I trooped into my apartment and went straight to the kitchen. We made grilled cheese and ham sandwiches, and ate them with pickles and potato chips. Morelli had a beer, and I had a soda since I was sworn off alcohol for the rest of my life.
“I need to go back to Randy’s apartment tomorrow and get Ranger’s CR-V,” I said to Morelli.
“The black one in the laundromat lot?”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sure Ranger will just have it towed.” Morelli fed the last half of his second sandwich to Bob. “You know it got totaled by a fire truck, right?”
“What?”
“I went over to talk to some of the guys while you were giving your report to the investigator. It looked like the truck rolled right over it.”
I dialed Ranger on my cellphone.
“About your CR-V,” I said.
“I know about the CR-V. This is almost as good as the time you totaled my Porsche with a garbage truck. Are you okay?”
“Yep. I’m peachy.”
“Good to know,” Ranger said, and he disconnected.
Morelli took a tub of ice cream out of the freezer and began spooning it into three bowls. “What’s the word on Berger? Did you find Venetian blind cord stashed under his mattress?”
“I didn’t look under his mattress. I burned his apartment down before I got to see the bedroom.”
“More happy news.”
“Your Grandma Bella showed up at the shop today.”
“How’d that go?”
“Same old, same old. I’ve been cursed. Yada yada yada. I’m going to hell.” I took a bowl of ice cream from Morelli. “You don’t suppose the broken finger and nose and fire are from Bella, do you?”
“None of those things are from Bella. Let’s face it, Cupcake, you’re a klutz. And if you go to hell it will be your own doing and not Bella’s.”
Bob finished his ice cream in seconds and closely watched Morelli and me in case some ice cream should fall off a spoon and onto the floor.
“Bella bought blood sausage and tongue,” I said to Morelli.
Morelli brightened at the news. “I bet she’s going to make some up for the game.”
