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Nick led Caroline across the garden to Milton. “When the song ends, you’ll stand here together, under an obscenely expensive arch of flowers, and you’ll speak your vows in the flattering glow of moonbeams and candlelight.”
“I could cry just thinking about it,” Caroline said.
“Me too,” Milton said, contemplating the price of the flowers and candlelight, relieved that at least the moonbeams might be free.
Nick put his hand to his heart, showing that he was also overwhelmed with the wonderfulness of it all. “And here’s the big finale, are you ready? I just love this part. When the minister declares you man and wife, the instant you kiss, the band will play a triumphant version of Neil Diamond’s ‘Sweet Caroline’ and the sky will erupt in fireworks from a barge on the lake.”
“Will it be Neil?” Caroline asked.
“No, it will not,” Milton said. “He doesn’t do weddings.”
“But he sang at the wedding in Saving Silverman,” Caroline said.
“That was a movie,” Milton said. “He doesn’t do weddings in real life.”
“He didn’t in the movie either. They kidnapped him,” Nick said.
Milton held his ground. “I am not kidnapping Neil Diamond.”
“You would if you loved me,” Caroline said.
“The band might drown Neil out, anyway,” Nick said.
“You’re right as always,” Caroline said. “I’ll settle for the band.”
The way she put it, it seemed like Milton was getting off easy only having to pay for a band. So everyone was happy, especially Nick. Between the fireworks and the music, nobody would hear the bang when he blew open Milton’s safe.
Kate set a large coffee with cream and a small white bakery bag on her desk and booted up her computer.
Cosmo popped up and looked over the cubicle wall at her. “It’s Friday, so you must have a cheese Danish in that bag.”
“I don’t get a cheese Danish every Friday.”
“Yes, you do. Onion bagel on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. And a cheese Danish on Friday. Am I right, or am I right?”
“You’re right. Don’t you have work to do? Don’t you have any pending files?”
“I was involved in the Ramos Green investigation, but Green died yesterday. He accidentally walked into a bullet. You live by the sword, and you die by the sword. What goes around comes around. Am I right, or am I right?”
Kate blew out a sigh. She tried hard to be a team player. And she wanted to like Cosmo. She really did. But jeez Louise, he was annoying. “You’re right.”
“So what about you?” Cosmo asked. “Are you making any progress with Fox? Are you closing in on him? Are you ready to pounce? You’re going to pounce on him and nail him, right? BAM!”
Kate looked at Cosmo and wondered if he’d shut up if she punched him really hard in the face. Probably not. She would feel good, but it would be wasted effort. And then she’d feel guilty, and she’d have to buy him a bagel or something.
“So what are your plans for the weekend?” he asked.
Kate opened her coffee and took the cheese Danish out of its bag. “Nothing special.”
“How did I know that? You’re going to work, right? Not me. All work and no play makes Cosmo an unhappy boy. I have a smokin’ date with a sizzling chick. Runner-up for Miss Lompoc. If they gave extra points for the biggest gazongas she would have won, if you know what I mean.”
“Gee, I’d like to chat some more but I have stuff to do,” Kate said.
“I bet you’re wondering how a little guy like me can always get these hot dates.”
“Actually, no.”
