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“Yeah, and you don’t want to insult your power amulet,” Lula said. “It probably could do all kinds of shit. It might make your dick fall off. I saw an episode of South Park once where this guy drank gluten and his dick flew off.”
“Excuse me,” I said to Pooka. “Getting back to Ken Globovic. Do you have any idea where I might find him?”
“Try talking to his girlfriend. She’s one of those activist nuts. Writes stupid things for the school paper.”
“Do you know her name?”
“Don’t know her name, but she looks like Malibu Barbie.”
“Do you know Barbie don’t wear no underpants?” Lula said. “I bought one for my niece and that doll didn’t have no underpants. I mean, what kind of message is that to someone? She had something sort of drawn on her molded plastic butt that might have looked like underpants, but it’s not the same, you see what I’m saying? And she didn’t have no bra, either. ’Course she don’t need one on account of she’s got perky plastic titties.”
“Anything other than the girlfriend?” I asked Pooka.
“Talk to Avi. He’s usually in the lab down the hall. He knows everyone. All the undergrads go to him for help with their projects.”
“He’s the wonder kid, right?” Lula asked. “I hear he’s a real cutie.”
“Girls love him,” Pooka said. “They line up outside the lab. I think it’s his hair. He has good hair.”
Lula and I walked down the hall to the lab.
“I don’t see any girls here,” Lula said. “Must be a slow day for the wonder kid.”
I’d had basic biology in high school and two semesters of microbiology in college. I’d hated every second of every class. I hated the way the labs smelled. I hated growing ick in the petri dishes, test tubes, and glass beakers. And I’d set my lab coat on fire trying to light my Bunsen burner…twice.
A slim, nice-looking teen was perched on a stool, working at a laptop. He was wearing a T-shirt and jeans and running shoes. He was the only one in the lab.
“Avi?” I asked him.
“Yes.”
“I represent Vincent Plum Bail Bonds, and I’m looking for Ken Globovic.”
“Everyone calls him Gobbles,” Avi said. “I haven’t seen him since he was arrested.”
“Do you have any idea where he might be hiding?”
“No, but I suspect he’s in the area. There have been sightings of him on campus. Mostly late at night.”
“I was told he has a girlfriend.”
“Julie Ruley,” Avi said. “She’s really nice. I think she’s a journalism major. She came here with Gobbles a couple times.”
“So what do you think of this Gobbles guy?” Lula asked him.
“I like him. And I can’t see him breaking into Dean Mintner’s house without good cause, if that’s what you want to know.”
I gave him my card and told him to call or text if Gobbles turned up.
Three girls were loitering in the hall when we left the lab.
“I can see why the ladies like h
im,” Lula said. “Besides being cute, he’s got a nice way about him.”
“Charismatic.”
“Yeah, that’s it. Charismatic. Gobbles sounds like he’s charismatic too. And I could tell you who isn’t charismatic. It’s that Dean Mintner. He don’t sound like no fun at all. And if you ask me, Professor Pooka is batshit crazy.”
