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?Setting a trap isn’t a bad idea,” I said. “We should give him a pizza party.”
“I like it,” Lula said. “A big man like him doesn’t pass up food. Especially if it’s free. We’ll send them to his mama’s house. I’m sure she knows how to get in touch with him.”
“I have a cousin working at Domino’s,” Connie said. “I’ll order it. How many do you want?”
“Has to be enough to tempt him,” I said. “Send him four extra-large with the works. Have the delivery person say it’s part of a promotion, and he was picked out at random. Tell your cousin we want it delivered at noon.”
“Domino’s is the best,” Lula said. “They got everything there. They even got gluten free. Maybe you should include one that’s gluten free in case Billy Bacon got issues.”
“Do we know anyone who would have gunpowder?” I asked Connie.
“My Uncle Lou,” Connie said. “He’s old-school. Likes to make his own shells.”
“He must be eighty,” Lula said. “Is he still whacking people?”
“He gets the occasional job,” Connie said. “He has easy access to nursing homes. Blends right in. Mostly these days he does mercy killings. Terminal cancer. Advanced Alzheimer’s.”
“Besides Lou?” I asked.
“I know some people making explosives,” Lula said.
“Terrorists?” Connie asked.
“Gangbangers,” Lula said. “Not all that dangerous since they all flunked out of school and can’t read. Pretty much they blow the fingers off their hands putting the shit together wrong.”
The door to Vinnie’s inner office got yanked open again and Vinnie stuck his head out. “What are you doing still sitting there? You think the rat bastards we bail out are going to come to you?” He pulled his head back in and slammed the door shut.
“That man has a personality problem,” Lula said.
“Yeah, that’s the tip of the iceberg,” Connie said. “He’s also got father-in-law problems. We’re not running in the black this month, and Harry isn’t happy. Do you remember Ernest Blatzo?”
This got a grimace out of me. Blatzo was a high-money bond who went FTA and disappeared off the face of the earth.
“It would help a lot if you could find Blatzo,” Connie said. “He’s worth twice as much as Billy Bacon and Ken Globovic combined.”
He was also a freak. He raped women in very brutal ways. It was suspected that some of the women he raped got chopped up into tiny pieces and fed to the pack of feral cats that lived in his yard. Since those women were never found it was hard to pin a murder charge on him. I wanted to see him behind bars, but I wasn’t excited about coming face-to-face with him. Truth is, I wasn’t all that brave. My successes were the result of stubbornness and dumb luck. Lula wasn’t that brave either. She caught people by accidentally running over them with her car or promising them a night of hot sex and then sitting on them until I showed up.
“I have his file in my bag,” I said to Connie. “I was hoping he was out of country.”
“We have a source who tells us Blatzo is back in his old house. No one’s actually seen him, but his herd of feral cats are back.”
“I could throw up thinking about that,” Lula said. “That’s disgusting.”
I headed out. “Later,” I said to Connie. “Confirm the pizza party.”
“I’m on it,” Connie said. “What do you want me to do with the thing?”
“Toss it,” I told her.
“That would be a shame,” Lula said. “It’s an expensive piece of equipment. I’ll take it if nobody else wants it. I bet I could get good money for this on eBay.”
Connie handed the dildo over to Lula, and Lula shoved it into her purse.
“Do you want the box?” Connie asked.
“Negative,” Lula said. “It’s easier this way.”
