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I glanced over at Raymond. “If you wear chaps tomorrow, I’ll turn you in to immigration.”
“That would be cruel,” Raymond said.
“Making me look at you in chaps would be cruel,” I said.
“Not so,” Raymond said. “I have firm butt cheeks with silky smooth skin. I am excellent to see in chaps.”
“I’d be willing to take a look,” Lula said. “Hell, I’ll look at anything.”
Stretch snapped on rubber gloves and lined up six roasted chicken breasts for slicing. “I’d sooner pour bleach in my eyes.”
Hal looked like he was ready to get in line for the eye bleach.
Connie called. “You need to come to the office,” Connie said. “Now.”
“What’s up?” I asked.
“Just get back here.”
“I’m wanted at the bonds office,” I said to Lula.
“I’ll go with you,” Lula said. “There’s no one wanting sandwiches now.”
“I’ll drive,” Hal said.
CHAPTER TEN
SHADES WERE DOWN, the CLOSED sign was in the window, and the door was locked when we got to the office. I knocked on the door, and Connie opened it a crack and looked out.
“Thank goodness, you’re here,” she said. “I have a . . . situation.”
We stepped inside and gave a collective gasp. Vinnie was standing in the middle of the room. He was buck naked, and he was swaying back and forth, back and forth.
“I can tell you right off I’d rather be looking at Raymond’s butt cheeks,” Lula said.
“I found him standing by the trash can in the parking lot,” Connie said. “He was just standing there, swaying.”
His eyes were completely dilated, his mouth was open, and he was drooling.
“What happened to you?” I asked him.
“I don’t think he can talk,” Connie said. “I think he might be drugged.”
“This looks to me like the work of aliens,” Lula said. “I bet they sucked out his brain.”
“Did you call the police?” I asked Connie.
“No. I only called you. I wasn’t sure what to do with him. I was hoping he would come around.”
“We should call Lucille,” I said.
“Yeah, and tell her to bring some clothes on account of her husband is in his altogether,” Lula said.
We all stared down at Vinnie’s foot. It was in his shoe.
“I guess I could amend that to his almost altogether,” Lula said. “You gotta respect an alien that has the decency to return a man in his shoe.”
“Vinnie!” I yelled. “Blink if you can hear me.”
