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“How do I pick?”
Matthew reaches forward to the table and pours himself a cup of coffee from one of the pots. “That’s up to you. Some people pick something that they hate. Some people pick a word that reminds them of when they feel safest. But it has to be something that you absolutely will not forget, even if you’re panicking.”
I think about it, and the memory comes to me almost instantly. Lemon pie on a sunny day and the feeling of utter safety and perfection. “Lemon,” I say.
“You won’t forget that?”
“Never.”
He nods, accepting it. “Good. If you use it, everything stops. Don’t use it lightly. It’s not something you use if you’re unsure or uncomfortable. If you need a moment to check in with me, tell me, or say yellow and we’ll slow down.”
I nod. I can do that, and it’s a relief that we’re not going to be hurtling down a path that we can’t come back from.
“Moving on. I need to know your boundaries. How far are you willing to go sexually?”
There’s a little thrill of surprise that goes up my spine. “I get a choice in that?”
“You get a choice about everything. I’m not going to force you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. It is perfectly possible to have a Dom/sub relationship without sex. In my opinion, sex does add to the experience, but I would never force it.”
“I’m fine with sex,” I say, feeling a tiny release of tension in my shoulders that I didn’t realize was there.
His smile is as bright as the sun that’s shining down on us. “I was hoping that you’d say that.”
I laugh. “I’m sure you were, based on those text messages.”
Across the table I see his eyes darken with heat, and I had forgotten how compelling they are. “I’m very much looking forward to it. But since you said yes, there is something I won’t negotiate on: your orgasms belong to me.”
I blink at him. “What does that mean? I’m assuming that I’m not going to be having sex with someone else, so of course they belong to you?”
Mathew laughs, and I think that even though he’s really laughing at me, it’s out of delight rather than mocking me. “No, you won’t be having sex with someone else. I mean that just like in that hallway, you only come when I allow it. You need permission. You are allowed to ask, and I expect you to tell me if you are so close that you think you can’t control yourself, but letting go before I agree will land you in trouble.”
“I mean…that’s weird, but I guess it’s fine.”
“I think you’ll enjoy it,” he says, taking another sip of his coffee. “There’s one last thing. You’re new to this, and we both know that you’re here to prove me wrong. But I still expect you to submit and obey. However, because you’re new, I want you to know that at any point if you don’t understand a command or you are uncomfortable, I expect you to tell me. Even if I have given you the command not to speak. Especially if I’ve given that command.”
“Okay.” My voice sounds smaller than I’d like it to.
“Communication is the most important thing between a Dom and a sub, and I don’t want you lying to me. You won’t hurt my feelings. I need you always to be honest with me, no matter the situation.”
I take a sip of my juice. “I can do that.”
“Do you have any other questions?”
“Are there…” I swallow, “are there going to be punishments?”
“Possibly.”
I wince. “I really don’t like pain.”
He chuckles, “I’m not a sadist, and I didn’t think for a second that you were a masochist. Not all punishments are painful. But,” he says, that amused mask back on his face, “if you’re a good girl, you won’t be punished.”
“I’ll do my best.”
He snorts. “I’m sure you will. Come on, I’ll show you the rest of the house and where you’ll be staying.”
I follow him back inside, hoping I didn’t just agree to something I can’t do.
Seven
The house is huge, and every new room seems to be bigger than the last. As Matthew guides me through the house, I’m incredibly aware of him. He guides me with gentle touches to my shoulder and lower back, just enough to sensitize my skin and leave me anticipating when and where he’ll touch me next.
On the staircase, there is a window with a view to a pond and a weeping willow. I stopped to appreciate the vista. It looks like it could be a painting. As I turned back to follow him, I found him so close, just looking at me. I thought he was going to kiss me, and even though I was furious with myself for being so into him, for wanting him so badly when it’s only been a couple of hours, I wanted him to kiss me with every cell of my being. He was so close that I was shivering, and I know there wasn’t a draft.
