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Now she carried her leather satchel and his, along with his bow and quiver, the weight of his belongings a poor substitute for him. For the arm she wished were resting across her shoulders instead.
Aria stopped just before leaving the cave. Most everyone was outside already, and only a few people were gathered at the stage. Perry wasn’t one of them.
She was beginning to think he was avoiding her.
She shifted the satchels higher on her shoulders, taking one final look. “Good-bye, cave. I never want to see you again. ”
She stepped outside onto the sand and made her way up the switchback trail that climbed the bluff. Roar and Talon walked ahead of her with Willow and Flea. Behind her were Soren and Caleb. All she heard was the wind and their steps, and the crash of the waves growing more faint.
She felt like her head wasn’t attached to the rest of her body. Like she wasn’t attached to the earth or even to the air around her.
They were leaving. It was what she’d wanted. What was necessary. But it felt too sudden. Too wrong, with Sable. And too empty, without Perry.
As she crested the bluff, she saw the Hovers, spread in lines over the rough terrain. Giants perched on the edge of the earth. The fleet was a sight that had amazed her once. Now her eyes moved right past the massive craft, scanning the people milling around in search of a tall figure with blond hair.
Aria spotted him at the same moment he saw her. Perry stood with Cinder and Marron, the three of them huddled close. Roar, Soren, and the others flowed past her, but she couldn’t move.
Perry came to her.
He walked over, and stood before her with swollen, red eyes. He’d been crying. She hated that he had hurt so much and she hadn’t been there.
“You’ve been gone,” she said stupidly.
“I couldn’t leave Cinder. ” He looked down, his gaze falling to the falcon carving in her hand. She didn’t realize she’d been holding it. She didn’t even know when she’d taken it out of his pack.
Perry took it carefully from her hand. “You kept this. ”
“Of course I did,” she said. “You gave it to me. ”
She’d taken it all the way to Rim and back.
Perry ran his thumb over it. A faint smile came to his lips. “I should give you one of my arrows. I make better arrows than falcons. ”
Aria bit her lip, dread snaking in her stomach. He was making small talk. Almost everyone had loaded up. Only a few people were left, making their way into the Hovers.
He lifted his head, and the look in his eyes made her breath catch. “I didn’t know how to say this, Aria. ”
“Just tell me what it is. You’re scaring me. ”
She saw tears in his eyes, and she knew what he’d say before he uttered a word.
“I have to go with Cinder. I can’t let him go alone. ”
38
PEREGRINE
Perry saw the exact moment that Aria understood. Her eyes flew open and her temper washed over him, pure ice. He kept talking, trying to explain.
“Cinder is going in his own Hover. . . . He’ll have to pull ahead of the fleet at the barrier of Aether, and I’m going with him. ” His throat felt like it was closing up, but he pressed ahead. “What’s out there sounds bigger than anything any of us has ever seen. And you know the way he is afterward. If it doesn’t kill him, he’ll be close to dying. Maybe . . . maybe he won’t come out of it. ”
Perry stared at the tufts of sea grass by his foot, unable to look at her anymore. He watched the fine blades blowing in the wind, and drew a few trembling breaths before he continued.
“I’m the only person he trusts. The only one. How can I ask him to go out there for us, if I won’t fight for him—for his life? And he’s terrified, Aria. If I’m not with him, I don’t know if he’ll go through with it. We’d all lose if that happened. ”
Perry had talked it over with Marron and Cinder earlier in the Battle Room. He and Marron had even planned for the possible outcomes, and who would lead the Tides should he not make it back. Then Marron had left to speak to the Tides and, after, to arrange everything with Sable.
Now Perry looked up. Tears brimmed in Aria’s eyes. Discussing the consequences of his death had been easier than telling her that he had to leave her.
