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This was news to me. I had no idea he spoke to Kova so often. While I found his concern over my well-being genuine, unlike my mom’s, I also was disheartened by the fact he could call Kova and not me. Then again, the phone worked both ways and I didn’t call home very often either.
My heart softened. “Thanks, Dad, I appreciate it.”
“Get some rest, go to bed early.”
“Same with you.”
“Your mother sends her love.”
I laughed under my breath. “I’m just sure she does,” I said sarcastically. “Tell her hi for me.”
“Will do, sweetie, talk to you later.”
Hanging up the phone, nostalgia struck me. The painkillers were making me emotional. I changed into some pajamas, climbed into bed and switched on Netflix, searching for some mindless teenage drama to watch. As I was dozing off, my phone vibrated and the screen lit up.
Coach: Open the door.
My heart stopped.
Climbing out of bed, I ran to my door and checked the peephole, but saw no one. I sent a text back saying I didn’t see him.
Coach: Coming up now.
Turning the lock, I pulled the door open and Kova walked in.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as he dropped his keys and phone on the counter. Before he could open his mouth, I spat, “And if you have one thing to say about my attire, I will lose my shit.”
Kova ran a hand through his hair, his eyes raking over my body. My loose top and boy shorts were all I could manage wearing after breaking a fever.
“This was the first minute alone I had to get away from Katja.” He let out an exhausted sigh and his eyes traveled down my body. He took two steps and stood before me. Palming my jaw, he tipped my head back and examined me.
“Your eyes are all glossy and red, and you have circles under your eyes,” he said quietly. His hands threaded my long hair and fluffed it up. I remembered how much he liked it when I wore it down. “I did not mean to hurt you.”
I pulled away and looked at the floor, ashamed he knew my absence was partly due to him. I was a little peeved it took him two days to check on me.
“You didn’t though…I really did it to myself.”
“Adrianna, do not fool yourself. If it was not for me, you would not be sick.”
I swallowed, shrugging. “Partially. But also because I wasn’t taking care of myself properly.”
“I feel terrible about it, I am very sorry, Adrianna. I was too rough, too careless, I said some mean things, and I put one of my gymnasts at risk. It is just another thing I cannot forgive myself for.”
“I won’t deny you were rough with me. You were. My body was running on fumes, so it didn’t help to fight off any kind of infection either.”
Exhaustion took over and I walked to sit on the couch. Leaning over, I placed my elbows on my knees and clasped my hands together.
“This was a big mistake,” I admitted, my heart aching with each word. “Catastrophic mistake. I wish nothing had ever happened between us. I wish I could take it all back. I came here to be the best I could and I let myself down.” Looking up, I met his eyes. “Maybe I’m not as strong as I think I am.” Kova shook his head and came to sit next to me. “I should’ve told you I was a virgin, it was wrong of me and I’m sorry. We could’ve ruined so many lives, Kova.” Tears welled in my eyes and I hated that I showed any kind of emotion. Damn pain pills!
Kova brushed a strand of hair away from my face, cupping it behind my ear. Our eyes locked and I saw the inner turmoil he was faced with. He hadn’t shaved in days, and there were black circles under his eyes too. Gone were the vibrant green eyes I’d come to love, and in their place was a dull shade of olive.
“You look like you haven’t slept.”
“I have not,” he admitted dismally. “You have been on my mind day in and day out. You think you are not strong, but you are. You have taken everything I have thrown at you and ran with it. You are a fighter, Adrianna. Few can handle what you have at the rate you have, and that caused the lines to blur for me. You make me question so many things in my life right now. I wish I could tell you what they were, but I cannot. Just know you are not weak, not even close to it. You are strong, do not ever doubt yourself.”
My heart sputtered in my chest. This was one of the nicest things he’d ever said to me. A tear slipped from my eye and he wiped it away with the pad of his thumb.
“But you are right about something.”
