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“No, it’s not.” I was going to be sick. “I hate you.”
“I would rather you hate me than want me.”
“I don’t want you.” Lie.
He shook his head. “You do not get it, do you?”
Confusion set in my face and he answered my question. “I want you, that is what you do not seem to understand. But you never refuse me. So you hating me will make this easier for you, for both of us. I want you to hate me, so when I do try to come after you, you tell me no.”
My jaw dropped, a tear finally slid down my cheek. “So this is about you?” My voice low and crackling. How could you do this to me?
“Oh, malysh,” he said, his voice softening. His eyes glazed over and I saw the real truth. “You have what it takes. Your body is in perfect condition.” His hand skimmed up my thigh, cupping my ass.
“Then let me compete, please. I’m begging.”
“No.”
I was on the verge of a break down, my nails dug into him. “How could he do this to me? Please,” I cracked. “I’ll do anything. This isn’t fair, you’re sabotaging my career for the sake of yourself!” Kova ignored me, so I went in for the kill. “Let me compete in the meet or I’ll come forward with our relationship.” He didn’t even flinch.
“No, you will not.” His nose skimmed my neck and I shivered. I didn’t want to want him, but my body gave me away.
“If you do, it will look bad for you too. You will ruin your career.” His breath tickled my neck and I tried desperately not to react to it. I clenched his shirt in my hand, holding him and fighting him at the same time.
“You’re ruining it for me by holding me back. What’s the difference? Might as well go down in flames and take you with me.”
“You will be pulled out of gymnastics and your father’s name will be tarnished. Is that what you want after everything he has done for you?”
Guilt struck me. I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to shame my parents. Then something dawned on me. “You forget something huge.”
“What is that?” he asked, his lips dusting mine.
I looked directly in his eyes and said, “People don’t take lightly to rape. And everyone believes a girl who cries rape.”
Kova didn’t move, only his eyes widened a smidgen. He knew I was correct.
“That is where you are wrong, malysh. At sixteen, it is consensual.”
I bit at his lip, taunting him, because I’ve got him.
“You didn’t do your homework, but I did. It’s consensual if it’s from someone who isn’t under the care of a professional. Am I not under your care while training? Oh, and anything before I was sixteen is considered statutory rape. Your fingers penetrated me, just like your tongue did when I was fifteen.”
Kova said nothing, so I kept going. I knew I should’ve stopped, but I hurt and I was going for his throat. I was running on adrenaline from his expressions alone.
“We had sexual relations in your gym…in the dance room…in front of the rings…the therapy room…” My mother trained me well to smile with my eyes to get my point across. “Add me to the list or I’ll come forward with our relationship. I will cry rape,” I cemented.
Kova’s eyes dropped, darkening. “You think you can threaten me?” He gripped my jaw in his hand, his fingers digging into my cheeks. “I am not so easily swayed. Go ahead and try it though, watch how fast you fall. I have never been anything but strictly platonic with every other gymnast I have ever trained. I am sure they will vouch for me. You, on the other hand, I doubt seeing as you do not have many friends here. In fact, I would not be surprised if some of your teammates concoct lies to have you thrown off the team.”
“What do I have to lose since you won’t let me compete? Nothing.” I paused, letting that soak in. “I’m not afraid of you, or what could happen. I mean, you took advantage of an innocent minor. A virgin no less. What was I to do?” I asked caustically, batting my eyelashes. “Let’s not forget about the morning after pill I’m sure was bought on camera.”
Kova ground his teeth, his jaw gnashing together, and I smiled sweetly at him with soft puppy eyes.
“Lies,” he whispered harshly. “I did no such thing, it was all you. You pursued me every chance you got and you know it. A man can only take so much before he loses his fucking mind and caves.”
“No one will believe you,” I bit back. “You know I’m right. After all, I was only fifteen.”
“You made all the first moves—”
“That’s a bullshit lie and you know it.” I stared hard into his eyes. “If you think I did, then why didn’t you stop me, Coach?”
